How to explain a toddler about death or deceased family members

SPatel2008 · Apr 5, 2013

Yesterday whilst talking about my memories of childhood.... i mentioned about my granddad to my 4 year old son. My grandad is no more and my son has seen his photo few times but then all of a sudden he asked me - where is your grandad and the answer that came to my mind was - he is with god. and then came the next question was- how come he is with god? i want to go to see god too...

We recently had close family death as well but we kept my son away from everything and I was told by my family not to explain him about death.... but somewhere I feel there has to be a time when kids need to know what death means... how and when can i discuss this topic? Is there a right age ? We often go to the house of the recent relative we lost and he stared at the photo of decesed but didnt ask anything. i wonder if he realised that the person is no longer with us?

Eraser · Apr 5, 2013

Kids do understand. Its us to think that by hiding, they will not make out - better don't try too much to hide it from the kid and in same time don't keep discussing it much in front of the kid.

Confused211 · Apr 5, 2013

When my daughter asked about my father, I told her that God called him for some work and that people usually stay there to swim in the sky with God. She said that she wanted to swim too, of course, but I told her that God decides who goes. She lost interest after that. Granted, she was only a little over 2 then. You'll probably get a ton more questions.

I lost a grandmother at 4. I cried a lot but soon forgot about the loss and just wanted stories about her later. There is more sting to the memory of the one that went when I was 16, than when I was 4, probably because I knew the former a lot better. And I know how much she suffered in her last decade, almost.

shakambari · Apr 5, 2013

Kids do understand things easily today because they see a lot of death related scenes in TV.
So try to explain briefly that all beings go to GOD or something like that usually when they are very old etc...and quickly divert the subject so their mind is not too fixed on the matter for too long.

SPatel2008 · Apr 5, 2013

Thanks everyone but do you think that he might get nightmares or get scared? my little one is a little worrier type. he worries about little things a lot and so before talking to him - i've to be cautious that he doesnt worry. i know it might sound strange....

Shakambari,

indeed you are right... TV has a huge influence to the knowledge in kids in today's generation and so makes it easier for them to understand.