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how to discipline child for doing her chores

Discussion in 'Schoolgoers & Teens' started by coolgal123, May 8, 2015.

  1. coolgal123

    coolgal123 Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi All,
    I have 6 and half yrs old daughter...she is not interested in doing any chores and also she is very slow in eating and doing any chores...apart from it she ie very intelligent and good kid...
    i expect her to chnage her uniform and then put her shoes at its place and put the folded uniform in alimriah...cleaning up her toys after playing....but she doesnt like to do it...i have to keep reminding her again n again...it happens daily....same happens with eating...she eats her food slowly...in the morning i have to constantly remind for brushing the teeth and drinking milk....i dont know how to introduce her with doing her work fast and neatly and more actively...otherwise she is a very wonderful kid...always take permission for everything...good in studies...never misbehaved...
    sometimes i loose my patience and scold her for not doing her things..tht time she improves her behaviour a little but again she become same...please advice how to discipline her in doing her small chores...i dont like scolding her atall and feel bad afterwards...but she really test my patience and i feel tht she is becoming sort of lazy....sometimes i think tht she is still small child then i think no she is going to be 7 and she shuld learn these small things....

    please suggest some way to make this work interesting for her...
     
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  2. revatinaik

    revatinaik New IL'ite

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    Somebody pl help me in bringing back my son who is in his teens on the track. Day by day he is becoming difficult to manage. Having lot of attitutude, doesn't know how to respect his paraents. What should I do to get my adorable son back as he was just before two years?
     
  3. butterflyice

    butterflyice Local Champion Staff Member Platinum IL'ite

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    @revatinaik, you need to open a new thread and post your concern. You will get plenty of responses. Welcome to Indusladies.

    OP, my guess is that your little girl needs some motivation. You can make a chart, list all the chores and give her stickers each time she finishes her chore. Once she earns a pre-decided number of stickers, you can give her a little prize in the form of screen time or a special snack.

    If you don't want to go that route, you can praise her a lot saying how responsible she has become in doing her chores, how happy that makes you etc as soon as she does her chore. That is positive encouragement. When she misses doing her chore, you can gently remind her. Say she forgets to put her shoes in place, ask her " where do the shoes go?" with a smile. Eventually she will need no reminders. Kids love to please adults.

    Initially its going to take a long time, so you need to be patient until her learning curve improves.

    Keep us posted on your little one's progress.
     
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  4. Sweetgirl123

    Sweetgirl123 Silver IL'ite

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    Allot a fixed time in the shedule for her chores. Make a checklist where she can cross out items she did. It takes time for things to become habit, but once they are habit they are done without thinking. You can also sing songs while cleaning up. Or see who is faster in completing their chores, you or her.
    But you should get used to repeating yourself and double checking if the work is done completely. Even at work, people need to be checked and they are adults.
     
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  5. wantmy2ndkid

    wantmy2ndkid New IL'ite

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    good ideas @butterflyice and @Sweetgirl123
     
  6. hrastro

    hrastro Platinum IL'ite

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    Many parents have this problem - so what I did was - I collected some of my friends - gave one dabba per child and gave them a chore chart !

    The chart is an excel sheet (in landscape mode) with tasks as rows and dates of the month as columns ! So printout one paper for the entire month !
    And stick it on the fridge or almirah!

    For every check on the paper, the kid gets 1 Re. Everyday, the parents would put the cash in the dabbas! They collected this in December and all the kids planned on a picnic/movie together!
    December mornings were quite peaceful for all my friends ;-)

    My son continues this so that he can collect money for his kindle ;-)
    Trying to paste the excel - let me know if you cant see it!
    You can make your own chart with your own list - this one was after discussion with my friends - the kids range from 7-12 years age!

    chores.jpg
     
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  7. sumzaya

    sumzaya Gold IL'ite

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    Thnks...sounds cool.
     
  8. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    @hrastro i like the chart and star concept but i would agree to disagree with giving money for chores.

    i believe that kids should understand chores are part of growing up and also part of being a team as a family. when we instill that when they are young, i am sure we will not have so many men not willing to help the family even at times of dire need.

    having a schedule, a system helps bring in consistency.
     
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  9. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    do you tell her that she is slow or do you make it really irritating by nagging her for being slow or not doing chores. if so stop that and adopt to just ignore her eating slow for a few times. later when she realises you have stopped nagging her sit with her and talk about time management in easy terms. just get a hour glass and tell her that what time she idles while eating can be used to do what she loves. be it painting or playing. give her some leeway edge right now until she understands what you are telling her with regards to her time .

    Oh love! you have it all yet you want more. it is sometimes the expectation of wanting them to be more. remember she is 6 and a half and she is still a kid and she will learn. the way we were brought up and how we bring up this gen is different. maybe if we reduce that expectation a little lower you will be able to look at what she is doing great and appreciate it more. the more you encourage and appreciate (where ever she does a great job) she is going to scale more..

    my son who is 17 still needs to be told,not that he does not know that but that is the least priority for him. do tell her that once she comes home, you would like her to remove the uniform, shoes and socks, put the shoe in its place after checking if there is anything stuck to it and also put the uniform and socks into the laundry bin stating that you do not want her to bring any sweat, dirt, dust or germ into the kitchen or her bedroom and also that if she does not put in the laundry bin, you will not wash it. along with it, they need to wash or take a bath before picking anything to eat. it is a never ending process, of reminding. yes some kids do it so well, but then those kids may not be good in something that your kiddo is great at..appreciate her when she is doing it consistently. a hug, a clap and a loud cheer "x, i love the way you picked up everything. you have done a wonderful job' , nothing works like a little praise from the parents at the age as the parents are their role models and ofcourse a special treat,be it a cupcake or her favorite milkshake.

    Do the chores with her a few times. arranging and showing that everything has its own place and she is big enough to keep her shelf clean and nice. even get her some nice sweet smellling wooden balls of lavender/rose for her cupboard. give her the chore as a way of showing her organizing skill.

    do you have a timer. get a nice funky timer. you can also add a voice message as the alarm tone if you are setting it on your phone (extra). my kids have this get off that Ass as a alarm tone for getting up after the snoozes for the 10-15 minutes they keep. (yes..they do that..if they are supposed to get up at 6.00, the first alarm that gets switch off is at 5.45, the next one is 6.00 and the third one at 6.05 would be get off that ass..lol..it works.) and tell her that you would remove the plate irrespective of her eating or not eating, and you will not give her any food if she is hungry between this meal time and the next one. (i know it feels harsh, but she needs to know that you mean it too.)

    that is a very hard combo even for adults. fast+neat+active takes a lot of practice. let her do it active and neat. and that would come when she has to do it when there is nothing more exciting. if there is a playtime just looming in the corner or a tv show and you ask her to do it, i am sure she is not going to be happy about it. make a time when it does not clash with something she really loves to do. and with practice she would do it well.

    I used to tell my kids to fold their clothes while watching their favorite show. and they would finish it. they never noticed that they were doing a chore.

    make the chore time a interesting time. say you are folding clothes you both can have a nice talk. you can ask her what happened at school, friends, even what she feels about your asking her to do some chores, only don't be disappointed..(I know of kids who think it is child labor)

    be consistent. show her that every member of the family does their chore. that she is not alone but part of the team x. and do reward her once in a while.

    and stop thinking she is lazy or more. she is still a little kid. she will pick it up..
     
  10. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    @coolgal123 and if you tend to feed her because she is late, stop it. and if you do sit and watch her eat move away but keep track, no sitting in front of the tv (many kids eat slow because their attention is away from what they eat). and consistency and being firm helps.
     

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