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How To Diplomatically Inform Inlaws About Continuing Work

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Sweety2019, Nov 24, 2021.

  1. Sweety2019

    Sweety2019 Silver IL'ite

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    Hi everyone,
    Needed a little advice on how to tell my in-laws and husband I would be continuing work. Now that I have a baby my in laws keep saying it's okay if you don't want to work you have a baby now. My husband says if you start working it will be difficult to look after the baby. When in fact they have not contributed financially till now in raising the baby. But I don't want to sound arrogant in telling that I want to continue work. May I know the most diplomatic way please.

    Thank you in advance.
     
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  2. hrastro

    hrastro Finest Post Winner

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    By being prepared to answer questions they raise - write down all the answers before hand (otherwise, if you get cornered or emotional - it is no longer going to be a diplomatic un-arrogant discussion/announcement)

    You know them well enough to anticipate the questions they will raise about you going to work - write them all down, prepare multiple scenarios and flowcharts and be prepared with all the answers and practice them well

    All the best...
     
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  3. anika987

    anika987 Finest Post Winner

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    Have a plan.Where is the question of arrogance in telling in-laws you want to work.It is work at the end of the day.

    Questions to prepare for:

    Are you dropping the baby in childcare?
    Or you expect help from in-laws?
    How do you plan to juggle both work and home?

    You know your relationship with in-laws.If thy are nice, they might help a bit and understand.
    Else you can make arrangements for help at home.


    At the end..everything depends on how you feel physically and emotionally.
     
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  4. Parry22

    Parry22 Silver IL'ite

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    - Be firm and clear that you WILL BE working - don't ask them, TELL them
    - Prepare what you are going to say before you actually say it
    - Plan everything for your baby, like baby's schedule, where they will stay, who will feed them etc
    - Show them the bigger picture. If you plan on buying a bigger house, tell them if you will resume working you will be able to buy it sooner. Tell them child's education is so expensive these days. Tell them in 10-15 years cost of living will be too high to be managed only by 1 earning member etc
    - Take husband or any 1 member of the family into confidence and ask them to support you when you tell your in-laws (if possible)
    - Be ready for some drama, but trust me, it won't last long - they will accept your decision sooner or later
     
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  5. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    Tell them that it will be better for the whole family if they have an additional working member. Arrange for a good childcare setup for your baby so you don’t have to depend on the in-laws. Be polite but very firm.
    Now they are telling you not to work. Use your job as an excuse to hire all the household helps you need.
    If you listen to them then they will start complaining that you are simply sitting at home and consuming their precious son’s salary. And you might be expected to provide full household seva as well. Don’t waver.
     
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  6. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Platinum IL'ite

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    i agree with others.
    if u sit at home you'll just be doing Seva for all.
    Arrange good maid, cook , nanny and go for work.
    use the high cost of living and education and your passion for your chosen profession as reason, along with many examples about job security, uncertainty due to pandemic and how its necessary to have double income. Say diplomatically and sweetly and put your point across.
    Those who havent supported you till now wont support you later on also.
    At the end of the days its your choice only.
     
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  7. Laks09

    Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    I would say babies don’t remain babies. They grow up. As they grow, school and college expenses come up. It’s best for you to hold onto your job so the baby is well provided for in the future. You could also mention a friend who has taken a break and is finding it difficult to join the workforce. Odds are stacked against women who take career breaks. You will have to go back and work your way up again.During crucial times, it’s better for you to have the work experience rather than trying to find an entry. In today’s day and age, one income isn’t enough at all. You will most likely have to go back to work. Best you don’t give up now. It maybe difficult for two years but then in the grand scheme of things, two years is not a big chunk of time. Rephrase all this according to your family’s viewpoints and present it. Good luck!
     
  8. Sweety2019

    Sweety2019 Silver IL'ite

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    Hi everyone thank you so much for all your suggestions. To be honest, I have not been approached Directly regarding me resuming work but they have commented to others with me present in the room. So I have ignored all comments until it will be discussed with me. Then I will put forth all the pointers mentioned above.

    Thank you so much. Stay safe everyone.
     
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