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How To Diplomatically Inform Inlaws About Continuing Work

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Sweety2019, Nov 24, 2021 at 5:18 PM.

  1. Sweety2019

    Sweety2019 Silver IL'ite

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    Hi everyone,
    Needed a little advice on how to tell my in-laws and husband I would be continuing work. Now that I have a baby my in laws keep saying it's okay if you don't want to work you have a baby now. My husband says if you start working it will be difficult to look after the baby. When in fact they have not contributed financially till now in raising the baby. But I don't want to sound arrogant in telling that I want to continue work. May I know the most diplomatic way please.

    Thank you in advance.
     
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  2. hrastro

    hrastro Platinum IL'ite

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    By being prepared to answer questions they raise - write down all the answers before hand (otherwise, if you get cornered or emotional - it is no longer going to be a diplomatic un-arrogant discussion/announcement)

    You know them well enough to anticipate the questions they will raise about you going to work - write them all down, prepare multiple scenarios and flowcharts and be prepared with all the answers and practice them well

    All the best...
     
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  3. anika987

    anika987 Finest Post Winner

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    Have a plan.Where is the question of arrogance in telling in-laws you want to work.It is work at the end of the day.

    Questions to prepare for:

    Are you dropping the baby in childcare?
    Or you expect help from in-laws?
    How do you plan to juggle both work and home?

    You know your relationship with in-laws.If thy are nice, they might help a bit and understand.
    Else you can make arrangements for help at home.


    At the end..everything depends on how you feel physically and emotionally.
     
  4. Parry22

    Parry22 Silver IL'ite

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    - Be firm and clear that you WILL BE working - don't ask them, TELL them
    - Prepare what you are going to say before you actually say it
    - Plan everything for your baby, like baby's schedule, where they will stay, who will feed them etc
    - Show them the bigger picture. If you plan on buying a bigger house, tell them if you will resume working you will be able to buy it sooner. Tell them child's education is so expensive these days. Tell them in 10-15 years cost of living will be too high to be managed only by 1 earning member etc
    - Take husband or any 1 member of the family into confidence and ask them to support you when you tell your in-laws (if possible)
    - Be ready for some drama, but trust me, it won't last long - they will accept your decision sooner or later
     
  5. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    Tell them that it will be better for the whole family if they have an additional working member. Arrange for a good childcare setup for your baby so you don’t have to depend on the in-laws. Be polite but very firm.
    Now they are telling you not to work. Use your job as an excuse to hire all the household helps you need.
    If you listen to them then they will start complaining that you are simply sitting at home and consuming their precious son’s salary. And you might be expected to provide full household seva as well. Don’t waver.
     

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