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How To Deflect Unwanted Attention At Starbucks

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by ChennaiExpress, Oct 12, 2016.

  1. ChennaiExpress

    ChennaiExpress IL Hall of Fame

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    Before, I used to go to Starbucks at lunchtime and paint.

    I really didn't mind people coming up to me, complimenting my painting. These were respectable people I didn't mind talking to at all.

    But now due to personal reasons, I have to study during lunchtime (tough job situation, added housework at home)

    Now it seems when I am studying, all the weirdos and creeps come up to me.

    One person says I look beautiful from behind. Honestly, I have my hair tied, wearing long sweater, and long maxi skirt. I'm not dressing for attention, but professionally for my job.

    I tell them I am at my lunch hour, and I am busy studying, as this is the only time I have, and that I cannot talk to them.

    Still they do not go away and they want to know my name, and whether they will see me again

    Then I said it is up to Jesus to decide whether they will see me again (I mean, this guy was a weirdo, creepy, but I figure if I invoke Jesus, then person may go away).

    When I left the person gave me envelope with his name. I guess he was soliciting money for some charity in his native country (but at Starbucks? and disturbing people who don't want to be disturbed?)

    I took the envelope and when I was outside, I tore it and threw it away.

    How to politely tell weirdos to go away?

    This happened once before a year ago while I was studying at Starbucks. Some old, fat, creepy guy who bought food from outside of Starbucks saying he is an attorney, he is an attorney. Perhaps to intimidate me so I don't call police on him for bothering me?

    Freaks!!!!

    And if I get angry and scream and say "go away", the weirdo may get angry and do something, and no one would come to my aid.

    And if I call police, then it creates unnecessary scene, and police may think there is something wrong with me because I could not handle weirdo. Plus it wastes what little time I already have.

    This has been bugging me past few days.

    Now I am scared to go to Starbucks because that weirdo may be there, looking for me!


    I really like Starbucks coffee. If I could find quiet place to study and drink Starbucks during hour break, I would!
     
    Depressedmind19 and vaidehi71 like this.
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  2. jskls

    jskls IL Hall of Fame

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    Find another coffee shop if you can or see if there is a library nearby or even a bookstore!

    Wear headphones and pretend you are listening to music or actually listen to music and don't respond to whoever disturbs you !
     
    ChennaiExpress and momsky like this.
  3. ChennaiExpress

    ChennaiExpress IL Hall of Fame

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    Yeah, I was thinking of headphones ......

    Will look for nearby library or bookstore. Wow, bookstore!!!! I love books!!!!!!
     
    jskls likes this.
  4. vaidehi71

    vaidehi71 IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi,
    There is no way we can avoid such people in our lives.
    One way, is politely refuse any such talks. Tell them you are having your private time and would not like to be disturbed. I haven't had such problems abroad. I am not sure about US though. But on the whole, they don't disturb us, and if we refuse or tell them politely, they do not disturb us at all. Regarding such creeps, such people exist, we need to make sure that we avoid them. Be it workplace or elsewhere. It has nothing to do with the attire.
    Just ignore such people in your lives. That is the best way and you don't have to change your place where you stay, for peace of mind. It is just an hour and you try to make the best use of it. We can't go and hide just because of creeps etc. We have to change our attitude and make sure, that they understand the meaning of being ignored. We have every right to enjoy our cafe time. So enjoy your time.
    Take care,
    Vaidehi
     
    momsky and ChennaiExpress like this.
  5. ChennaiExpress

    ChennaiExpress IL Hall of Fame

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    I do love Starbucks and I would miss not going there.

    Next time someone comes up, I will politely tell them I am having private time, and please don't disturb.

    I reallllllly do love Starbucks. The ambiance, the freshness, and the coffee is so lovely!!!
     
    vaidehi71 likes this.
  6. vaidehi71

    vaidehi71 IL Hall of Fame

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    That is the spirit and good luck to you!:thumbsup::)
     
    ChennaiExpress likes this.
  7. Akanksha1982

    Akanksha1982 IL Hall of Fame

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    Maybe just say "No English", "No English" meaning that you don't know English.
     
  8. momsky

    momsky Gold IL'ite

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    Lol, love this answer... one of the perks of being an immigrant
     
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  9. jskls

    jskls IL Hall of Fame

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    I hope OP will cover her books (in English) when she says 'No English'
     
  10. momsky

    momsky Gold IL'ite

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    :roflmao:
     
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