1. Want to be a Positive Parent? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

how to deal with teasing

Discussion in 'Toddlers' started by mann, Jul 10, 2015.

  1. mann

    mann New IL'ite

    Messages:
    7
    Likes Received:
    3
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi all,

    We have recently moved to new place and my son who is 3.8 yrs studying in jr kg joined school in June. He is basically friendly and social, but I am seeing few problems on a daily basis, so thought of voicing my concerns here.

    1. When I tried introducing him to a girl in our building, that girl (5 yr old) said "I dont want to play with him" then my son said "I am feeling sad" even I was sad obviously. I tried speaking to the girl's granny also and at home I told him its ok if someone does not play with you but you should not feel sad for that. So, for the next 2-3 days i took him to garden to play slides, swings, etc. Then yesterday that girl was playing down with her friend and my son wanted to play with them, again the girl said I dont want to play and told her friend also not to play, then I intervened and said "you should play with all friends" and told the other boy also the same, boy was ready but not the girl. Then my son came to me and said "I am not sad" but he stood at one corner with his face down, you can imagine how a mother must have felt. Then i tried to tell the girl that her teacher and mother both want her to play with everyone. She was still reluctant. Then when her granny said "play with him" he played. But I am still concerned when they meet next time will the girl play? and in all this, my concern is my son should not get a feeling of "left out". Please advice me what else I can do for him to make comfortable with everyone.

    2. At garden and at school, 2-3 times few kids teased him saying "motu" he screamed back at them. His teacher also told me that when kids teased him, he screams. My point is if kids tease him then teacher should tell the kids also not to tease him. If you have any advice regarding this to help cope the situation better, please let me know.

    3. My son is 22 kg now, till now I used to think he is young its ok, he looks cute, golu molu types, but now that kids are teasing I am worried (one kid said motu in front of me and I was about to cry there itself). I had him enrolled in skating class twice a week and take him to garden thrice a week or he plays with friends or goes for swimming. I dont prefer sending him to classes 5 times a week at this young age (3.8 yrs). Can you suggest ways to keep him physically active and shall I watch his weight from this early age?

    4. I have seen in his school, there are group of ladies who interact with each other well and their kids also play with each other. I am trying to talk to them and my son wants to play with the kids too, but here also I feel there is groupism. I try daily to talk, but even after repeated attempts I dont get proper response, I am trying to avoid. Is it right?

    All in all, I want him to enjoy his childhood with lots of friends. As I feel if he is happy then he will also learn things faster and when he grows up people skills will help him more than anything else. So please advise.

    Thanks in advance.

    Mann
     
    Loading...

  2. altaxpintu

    altaxpintu New IL'ite

    Messages:
    3
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Does your boy have grandparents? If so bring them for month or so to your home. Make him to go out with them.They will make a space for him to mingle with all. You need not worry here. You just don't tell they form groupism. All "groupism" starts from a "Hi". You go and talk if they avoid you then leave it. I can understand your feelings but these are all faced by many of them...
     
  3. KashmirFlower

    KashmirFlower IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    1,800
    Likes Received:
    2,318
    Trophy Points:
    300
    Gender:
    Female
    I can't suggest on other stuff, but yes it is very important to maintain healthy weight from young age, u are enrolling in all activities like swimming etc which is very good, please also check what is his diet , is he taking lot of cakes, pastries, chocolates and fried foods? Please note that what they eat now, they continue eating in their life, good food habits are important.

    talk to ur child's doctor or search online for good food habits in kids.
     
    2 people like this.
  4. mann

    mann New IL'ite

    Messages:
    7
    Likes Received:
    3
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Thanks for the advice. My son is doing better now, I voiced out my concerns to teacher and some parents too. So, he is mingling well. Regarding weight, I dont give him cakes and fried foods often, but on weekends when we go out he has. Other than that, at home its regular food at regular intervals. But thank you so much for replying. When I wrote my first post, I was very sad, but as things are improving now, feel better. I feel its a wonderful platform to write about what you feel and people respond too.
     
  5. KashmirFlower

    KashmirFlower IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    1,800
    Likes Received:
    2,318
    Trophy Points:
    300
    Gender:
    Female
    That is good u talked with his teacher. U keep enquiring and keep remembering his teacher and any other related in his school about your concerns. We have to keep asking otherwise they forget.

    Usually kids don't like to play who r younger to them , they don't get much challenge in it as younger ones r not upto their speed I think, it is just my observation, but it is good if they play with different age groups.
    As that 5 yr old doesnot want to play, u can tell ur son, she wants to play with elder children as she is little big. U play with x or y kid u will enjoy like that u try, instead trying to make friendship with that girl.

    are other parents arranging play dates at home? May be that is why their kids r more friendly among themselves. U see who ur kid likes and try calling them home and see.
     
  6. mann

    mann New IL'ite

    Messages:
    7
    Likes Received:
    3
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi there....thanks for the reply. Regarding the girl, I liked your way of explaining that she is big so does not want to play. But as her grannny also told her once, she is now playing with my son. So I am happy for my son.

    Regarding school kids, I have tried inviting few kids home, but it did not work out yet, but I still wait after school hours so that he can mingle more and the situation is slowly getting better. Another good thing is a boy from our adjacent building has joined for skating and they are playing together now.

    Parenting is not an easy task, everyday is a different day!!!
     
    1 person likes this.
  7. ramyaramani

    ramyaramani Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    3,924
    Likes Received:
    1,808
    Trophy Points:
    308
    Gender:
    Female
    @mann I am glad that you feel better after venting out here. Sometimes all we need is someone to listen to us. Half of our problems are solved this way.

    Play dates do get difficult to organize. You can maybe try one friend at a time? Or allow your kid to play with other kids for sometime post school (maybe in the school playground). I made some awesome friends this way.
     

Share This Page