How To Deal With Silent But Deadly Inlaws, Especially Sister In Law?

I would say your relationship is in bad shape (sorry to say) if he only spends time with you once a month and the rest with sis. You need to ignore this man, don't give him the time of day, and go about your life. Do not include him and he will see. If I feel my DH ignores me or has not "checked in " to our relationship I simply ignore him make other plans and he comes running and wants to spend time with me. your situation is different. Try this and if it does not work after a few months then i would seriously think of leaving him. Then I would say there is something bigger going on where he does not like spending time with you and escapes his home life. It is sad that men get married but then don't give their wives the time and attention they need. I said to you before same thing happened with my DH, he spent all time with his sis and two kids, any time left over with her husband. I was bottom of the pile. You know what this hurt me and made me angery but I got smart. I filled my days and time with other activities, spent more time with my family, travelled alone, hung out with friends alone, and did all the things single people do. This bothered him over the course of a year and he started taking appointments with me, and then asking to join me in my parties, and adventures. At first he wanted to invite his sis and her family to our outings but I was firm that we needed to do things alone. Slowly slowly I weaned him off, this may sound bad but if you saw the amount of time he spent with his family it was ridiculous, especially when his mother would scold me if I even spend an hour with my family a week . Now my DH spends all his extra time with his immediate family (me and my child) he still sees friends and colleagues, but his family is at the bottom of the barrel because they caused so many problems when we tried to branch out as a couple. So hang in there try a few things, like this and see where it goes. You have to be patient though as SIL has had many years with him then you have. Emotional bonds are very strong.

 

It is one thing to praise a sister for her accomplishments or nature....but when a guy praises his sister's beauty or physical appearance to his wife.....it is bordering on weird .Same goes for a girl telling her husband about how handsome her brother is.

Op if a guy can't spend time with his wife and newborn....then one can only ask him the question loudly and clearly"why the hell did he marry?"

 

@gg25
I am perturbed by your question. Are you being fair to your husband by raising such complaints? After reading your post, I am wondering , if there is a counter allegation about you being deadly, how can it be helped? You are deciding how a brother and sister should behave? And you wanted to establish your relation with your own sis as a model to follow? How much rational it is? You are unnecessarily putting yourself in a very non-existent competition where you are trying to get a foothold. Just remember , there is no equality in relation between a sister and wife.