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How To Deal With My Crazy Mil

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Rainbow147, Jan 26, 2020.

  1. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    What's your husband's take on it?
    No one has to go through emotional harassment like this to stay in a marriage.
    Such build up stress could cause serious health issues, including infertility. So your MIL may be causing this.

    Have an open talk with your H. Tell him what you feel, and how it all affect your sanity & health.
    Give him an option 1) To protect you from such abuse and injustice 2) To keep you away from such abuse and injustice

    If he chose to protect, he must fight against his mother and shut her bloody mouth.
    If he chose to keep you away from this abuse, he must let you stay back whenever he visits his family. This way, chances are very low to get abused.

    And if he doesn't wanna do anything, but expect you to adjust or go through the same pain... then it is time for you to stand up and put your foot down.
     
    Amica and KashmirFlower like this.
  2. sandhya2020

    sandhya2020 Bronze IL'ite

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    Thanks SGBV, yes I know it's a lot of stress... my husband is a very good person supports me completely against any injustice/harassment . Because of him I have my sanity . If he is there, he speaks to her to stop and we step out of house for some time if she still doesn't. He got health issue due to his parents' always giving stress- his mom once called on phone and shouted a lot after that only it became suddenly more serious . But still she does not care about his stress- she feels entitled that we have to give her grandchildren etc anyhow. I requested many times that he is under lot of stress because of health but it has no effect on her. This really makes me upset that she has become root cause of my husband's tension.The reasons she is against him is because he said no to dowry although she asked for dowry to me/parents many times. I still visit her because I don''t want to create more tension in the family due to me , we have to live together in a few years . She keeps complaining that I reduced frequency of visits and I am "breaking the family", I want to speak back that I reduced visits because of how she treats us it causes me stress- but f I say anything there will be lot confrontation/tension etc so I try to avoid these topics . And I try to focus on my life but it's very difficult.Right now my priority is my husband's health and we should have less stress so somehow handle everything and prevent tensions.


    Anyway sorry to OP for hijacking the thread... Ill post separately sometime. Thanks a lot SGBV for the support.
     
    Last edited: Jan 30, 2020
  3. Rainbow147

    Rainbow147 New IL'ite

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    No worries Sandhya. I can understand your pain.

    Thanks SGBV . I understood your perspective from that beautiful story. I have to put that in practice slowly.


     
    sandhya2020 likes this.
  4. lukywife

    lukywife Gold IL'ite

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    They want you to confront and get hurt. But if you don’t confront instead ask smilingly “why are saying that?” or “why are you bringing this topic?” or “what are you trying to say”. You sound confident. They will he scared of confidence. And you should do this every single time you see a passive aggressive behaviour in her. Dont give up. Try. You will be amazed by the results.
     

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