how to deal with lazy hubby

I was invited by one of my siblings for dinner yesterday. I got to her place about 30 minutes early so I could help out. That's just my personality..arrive early and help with things. Anyways after we were done eating, my bro in law started cleaning up. My sister on the other hand was standing watching him put things away, put dishes in the dishwasher. She popped up and said "thats not where they belong, you didn't put the plates in the correct way". My brother in law was like "there is only one way you can load the plates in" this went on for about 5 minutes...Meanwhile I stood there shaking my head. They both looked at me and go whats the matter. My response was... all that time you spent... how to load the plates...hack I could have washed them by hand and towel dried as well.

What I observed was that yes each of them have their own style..yet if bro in law helps, he is not doing it right. My sister's biggest pet peeve is that when ever she cooks something, BIL will say this just to annoy her..my mom makes it better....and it is enough to start up an arguement.
He cleans the house but she will go behind him re-arranging things.

To me...if you ALLOW some one to help..let them help. They may not do things the same way as you but they are willing to pitch in.
This was my input.

OOPALL.

 

+1 :rotfl
My husband is also a bit compulsive with cleaning. if he finds anything dirty he'll clean it. Infact there was a time when I wasnt working and some days I would just lazy arround & leave the dishes. He would come from office & start cleaning the dishes & happily too !! When DD was born, I didnt do much the first 3 months. Our DD had feeding issues so I had to spend extra time with her on that & DH did all cleaning, cooking, earning, groceries everything. thank you lord !!!

 

I am confused what shld i say about my hubby . he is super duper lazy but a cleanliness freak as hell. he wakes up n sit idle n at last minute ran for everythin , I wait for him everytime we hav to go out. I like my home tidy n he throws everythin here n there. but at the same time his cupboard is so well arranged.(more than mine)he keeps his pesonal belongings very tidy. In kitchen he can burn even water:rant. he dont even enter that place. but he wants his utensils clean like mirror. even wash his fruits with SOAP:rotfl. I m not sanki for cleanliness but i like home n things tidy , very very tidy!!
so, i give him hints that he shld not do this/that , but never fights. take things casually.
he is a total 0 in kichen but once he made omletts for me first time in his life when i was ill . they were very salty but i luved them.:thumbsup when suddenly guests are comin he helps tydin up the home(read hidin everything under the bed:biglaugh)n i concentrate in kitchen.
overall i think i can manage :thumbsup

 

I think this is due to a bit of our culture where women are expected to take care of the house & men expected to earn. It made sense earlier but now that both work, its very taxing for women to handle both & keep picking after their husbands. The boys have since childhood been used to others doing their stuff for them.

I come from north of India & I dont want to generalise, but in most families (I know) the boys dont even get up to get a glass of water for themselves. And they dont see anything wrong with just sitting arround & waiting for everything to be done for them.

I think the best we can do in this matter is try to teach the next generation. Make sure the boys (as well as girls for that matter) learn to do their own stuff at the very least & also have a sense that they need to help mommy & daddy at times too. Our DIL's will probably appreciate us for raising our boys right