How to deal with dominating co-sister in-law?

caty45 · Nov 2, 2012

My husband's elder brother's wife (my co-sister) in the family is very dominating. She finds faults in me and is very complaining to my husband and rest of my in-laws (mother-in-law, father-in-law, brother-in-law). My husband takes her side along with rest of my in-laws and they all fight with me. I am alone against five of my in-laws including my husband.Since the very first day of my marriage my husband told me that his elder brother and his wife (who is my co-sister) had done a lot for him and now we should do only for them. My sister-in-law finds faults in me in even on petty things like she tells my husband and in-laws that I do not talk to her, call her kids and play with them, did not telephoned her to ask for her health when she was pregnant etc. etc. She is always on the look out to find an opportunity to find a fault in me and complain about it to my in-laws and husband. In turn my in-laws and husband fight with me and make an issue to whatever my co-sister says and every time my husband tells me that I did not do anything for them. In spite of my best efforts she still finds faults in me whatever I do for her. Can anyone tell what reply should I give to her as well to rest others when she finds faults in me and what to do?

whatisaguytodo · Nov 2, 2012

Just ignore her and stand up for yourself.

makeuplover · Nov 2, 2012

I too have an irritating co-sister, not just irritating, cunning and jealous one. But luckily she doesn't have much grio on others in the family. She has some kind of complex and frustration of staying with in-laws, so whenever she comes to my place she tortures me like hell. Though my husband doesn't like her nature, he pretends that he is sooooo loving to her which irks me! I ignore her that's all I can do. Be strong and firm and don't pretend that you care for her even if the whole world is against you. Be extra nice and sweet to everyone and don't reply when they complain n fight with you on her behalf. Don't call her or give any attention. How long one hand alone tries to make sound????

arthimahalakshm · Nov 2, 2012

be strong girl;90%of elder co sisters are like that only;always they create problems like on petty issues which we think small;either she is envy of your status or she wants to hold the control of you;start praising her and follow her.(watch her how she turns the things on her favour);after learning the tactics try to apply on her;it will take one/two years;but your personal life is verymuch important than fighting directly with her;

caty45 · Nov 2, 2012

Thanks... But she has damaged the relationship between me and my husband to a great extent. I always keep quite when my husband and my in-laws fight with me and the fight is always related to my co-sister. My co-sister even criticized my dressing sense and said that I dress up in my casuals always. On the contrary she is in a habit of showing off everything in front of my in-laws which is her behavior, her father's wealth etc. etc. She has mesmerized them completely including my husband and now she is taking advantage of that against me. My husband only listens to her that I do not do anything for his elder brother and his wife. There is no end to fault finding behavior. She speaks regardless of whatsoever I do for her or else even when I do not do anything for her. She always let me down and everyone listens to her. Even my silence in the whole fight creates an impression that I am accepting to what all she is saying. And next time my in-laws and husband come up with the previous issues that in spite of their telling me previously I did not improve myself and did not work on it. Do not know what to say and how to behave. There is no limit to the fault finding behavior.