hi ilites!! hope all of u are doing well.. well i am back after a long abscence..asusual my life's the same.. same old issues,same old thoughts of mine.. sometimes i feel i am sinking too deep into negativity&depression .i don't know.. My inlaws are planning to come to US to visit us.... this would be their second time visiting us in 2 yrs..to be frank i don't want them to come.. may be i am being cruel.. or may me i don't know why but i don't want them to come.. atleast not now.. they came along with me before last year just after my wedding.. imagine my situation.adjusting with new person,new family and new place and country..it was really really tough.it took quite a lot of time for me to come out of all the misery and depression. at one point i thought of killing myself or leaving dh. i kept quiet for all the things they said and did.. reasons.. 1) i was some how afraid of them which i feel was foolish n regret it now.. 2) my parents n few close relatives told me to keep quiet n just be patient for everything they said and did to avoid any conflicts ..trust me they influenced me so much.. which i regret now.. now they are coming again.i am still adjusting here n preparing for my medical exams..infact i am on the verge of giving my exams..so it's kind of disturbance to me..also i have some issues to be resolved with them which i can get solved when i go to india.(i haven't been to india since 2yrs..) I am missing my parents alot..if my in laws come to us it would be tough.. also my MIL is coming with the agenda to brian wash me to plan for a baby.. she has been pestering me since my first night.(she first advised her ds not to use any contraception.later she started pushing me like anything.)everytime i talk to her she jst has only 2 things to task,talk about.. when are u giving ur exam,when are u planning for a baby?? i told her i'll do it once i am done with my exams.. so she is just waiting for my exmas to get over..i cannot tell her directly that i need some time to adjust with her son n his family.. imagine my situation now.. i am already tired of listening to all that stuff on fone once/twice in a week.. if they come here i have to hear it everyday,every moment.. OMG . i can't bear tht. i already have so many tensions.. my exmas,my sisters' wedding issues.. etc etc.. now i cant take more.. i am 28 and my husband is 30.. i know it's kinda getting late.. but i need some time... i haven't yet settled in my career.. i want to take care of my parents.. i want all issues resolved before my pregnacy coz.. i want to have a happy and peaceful atleast contented pregnacy..with all these thoughts going on in my brain i cannot handle all the pressures at same time.. i don't understand that y don't they understand our situation. people laughed at us when they heard that my inlaws are come with me to us after my wedding.i mean i din't get to spend some personal time till almost 9 months after our wedding.for 1 month i was in india,next they came with me,after that my husband was working at a different place...now again it's like people are asking why are your inlaws coming again. it's kinda of becaming a hilarious thing to them.. to laugh at my new family,especially inlaws.... i am not liking that... also it's becoming so expensive.. we have to pay my exam fees which is quite expensive , visa,H1 extension fees... etc etc.. anyhow we have to go to india in dec for visa stamping..we have to spend then.. again for shopping and other stuff.. the tickets are also soo expensive.. dh is planning for vacation to various places during their visit.again for shopping during their visit..hummm.. i feel there's too much to spend...i may be sounding little stingy,cruel.. may be i don't know but i am concerned.. dh is like one person who won't spend sinlge penny for him,saves all the money n sends to india... with my husband's money they(his parents and elder brother's family) are living lavishly..dh bought new home,new electronics etc etc in india but they are enjoying all those..he sends money,gifts everytime..that's still ok.. but how should I convince him/them now?? my parents wanted to come to help me during my exams..it was just a thought.when pils came to know abt it ,they started the plan that they wanted to come..now dh cannot say no..dh was still ok with my parents visit..(before anything moved forward i myslef stopped my parents.. keeping in veiw of the taunts,nagging of mil and also the expenses..).. this thing is eating my brain since many days.. dh is so involved in his job& also get worried abt my exam,visa and stamping issues.. i don't want to disturb him more.. nor i want them to come..i am soo confused.. actually it's kinda of frightening to think of their visit to our place.. mil is very bossy,controlling and nagging..v v v v v orthodox.. with great effort i am gaining some peace in my life..i don't want to ruin it..i am already facing the exam fright.. i don't have more patience,strength to face anything more..How should i convince dh?? is it ok if I talk a bit directly or do i need to b very subtle?? i am writng here so that i can vent out....and also i can get some suggestions..