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how to conveince my huband to sent money to my parents

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Sheeba1256, Mar 28, 2010.

  1. Sheeba1256

    Sheeba1256 New IL'ite

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    hi,i am sheeba,me and my husband reside out of our country ,my husband has 4 brothers including him and Two sis,he has a happy family,m the only daughter for my parents,my husband he sends money to his family everymonth for there day to day expenses and when i ask him to send to my parents he make excuses not evrytime but he never says from himself wenever i say then only he says ok and sumtyms no,my parents have money thats not the issue my dads working and its sufficeint for them but still i as there daughter thinks to send them to make them feel happy,what should i do?suggest me.
     
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  2. Malavika81

    Malavika81 Bronze IL'ite

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    Sheeba, are you working and earning or is your husband the only earning member? If latter is the case, then you cannot make a demand to make him send money to your parents especially when they do not need it. If you do earn, then you are free to send your parents money from your earnings. I do not think your husband is obligated to send money to your parents if he is the only one earning, unless your parents are in some sort of financial dire straits. That is the hard truth and practicality of this matter, any way you slice and dice it.
    Maybe his parents really need the money from him for sustenance and they are the ones who paid for his expenses, when he was young, not yours. He is not in some sort of contest to prove he is impartial in sending money to both your parents. However, if you are earning, then you are free to do so with your share of discretionary income.
     
  3. Sheeba1256

    Sheeba1256 New IL'ite

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    thnx for your response, m earning but all my salary goes in other expenses and ne ways i have to ask my husband and send them,my parents are not in need everytym for money but sometyms they need it, but my husband doent understand that.
     
  4. Tugga

    Tugga Silver IL'ite

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    If you are earning, please try and open a new account and start saving part of your salary (lets say 40%) there for your personal use. The remaining 60% can be shared with your hubby for your family expenses.

    You can use your personal savings for your spending or to send money back home to your parents. Its all upto you. Because you have all the rights to use your money as per your needs and wants.. All what you need is to discuss and inform your husband prior making any decisions in financial matter. If he refuses to accept your idea, openly tell him that you too have personal needs and responsibilities towards your family, hence you have decided to use your own hard earned money for that.

    He can not ask you to limit your spending as he is not doing it right now, so either he will agree to your idea or limit his spending for his parents and start saving for YOUR family.

    Please note.... Do not send money to your parents just because your husband is doing so. If there is no financial need/cricis from your family side, then you can limit your sending only to gifts when and where it is appropriate.
    You should not compete with your husband in this matter, it will ultimately affect YOUR OWN family's finances.
     
    Last edited: Mar 28, 2010
  5. Malavika81

    Malavika81 Bronze IL'ite

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    Sheeba, if you are earning then you have just as much right to send money to your parents as his. But don't make this a contest though and send them money only if they need it badly, not because you want to keep up with your husband. Why do you have to ask your husband to send your parents money if you are earning? You should always maintain joint account for common expenses and personal account for your own discretionary things.
     
  6. sunitha

    sunitha Gold IL'ite

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    As long as your parents are earning,don't worry too much,if needed you inform your husband and send money from your earnings.I don't think you need 'permission' from him for this since it is your money.

    Once your parents retire/stop working,you can send a fixed amount each month to your parents' account.Even if you stop working,talk with your husband and arrange for it.He has equal responsibilities towards your parents just like he has towards his own parents.This is my belief.

    As long as I was working,even though my dad was working,I used to take care of some of my household expenses even after my marriage since his salary was average.Now my dad has retired,I don't work any more and my husband deposits a fixed amount in my dad's account every month.

    I think every husband needs to understand that just like his parents are important to him,the wife's parents are important to her too.
     
    Last edited: Mar 29, 2010
  7. Sheeba1256

    Sheeba1256 New IL'ite

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    thnxs every1 for suggesting but u know husbands should undrstand the feelin of wife.we have a joint a/c for our saving and expenses we share it so its fine.
     

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