1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Would you like to join the IL team? See open jobs!
    Dismiss Notice
  3. What can you teach someone online? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice
  4. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

how to choose

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by mkarthika, Jul 19, 2010.

  1. mkarthika

    mkarthika New IL'ite

    Messages:
    47
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    6
    Gender:
    Female
    hi
    I am 26 years girl but little fat.I am not going to job as i am unable for it.but got a degree
    I have got 2 alliance
    one is engineering but dont have property other than a house
    second is diploma but have some property but not equal to ours.
    Both have same salary only..
    Dont know which to choose. and to whom to leave this choosing work..?

    thanks
    karthika
     
    Loading...

  2. asuitablegirl

    asuitablegirl Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    3,369
    Likes Received:
    357
    Trophy Points:
    183
    Gender:
    Female
    First of all, do you even LIKE these two boys? If not, I suggest wait for the third, fourth, fifth boy to come along. Whatever it takes until you feel a zing in your heart like 'this is the one'.

    But assuming you like both boy 1 and 2, which do you find yourself most compatible with on a personal level? You have mentioned salary but nothing else about them. I hope salary/property is not the only factor you are looking at! When you are around boy 1/2... how do you feel inside? Do you feel happy, safe, hopeful, fearful, anxious, uneasy? Also, you should compare your outlook on life/values to their's.

    Your family has found a couple of 'suitable' boys, but the chosing part should be up to you. Good luck.
     
  3. Ranchu

    Ranchu Local Champion Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    4,725
    Likes Received:
    6,646
    Trophy Points:
    408
    Gender:
    Female
    Karthika,

    Did you talk to those boys alone ? what do you feel about them ?
    Just like Asuitablegirl mentioned, you should personally like them and those boys should like your personality. Selecting alliances ONLY by Studies / Property is not the best way to choose your life partner.
     
  4. mkarthika

    mkarthika New IL'ite

    Messages:
    47
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    6
    Gender:
    Female
    The first boy is ok in personality.
    But the second boy is fat than me .
    What my parents say is that u also little fat and he also is fat.so it will match.That is not a problem.Also they posses property which will save your life at future when he cannot go to job etc....

    So should i listen to my parents or what?

    thanks
    karthika
     
  5. ShilpaMa

    ShilpaMa IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    2,862
    Likes Received:
    5,086
    Trophy Points:
    408
    Gender:
    Female
    Karthika, I feel you'll take all major decisions of your life on what your parents are telling hence go with them.

    From what I've seen - My SIL is fat and BIL thin, he loves her a lot and takes good care of her. Its not always that a fat person will understand fat and thin understands thin. There has to be an emotional involvement with the spouse. However yes her inlaws were always worried about how much she ate and if she'll further grow bigger... if you marry in family of like type people they dont comment on you.. atleast the extended family.

    Education does matter, however whether a person can earn property from his current income and if he can rise to higher levels is a matter of time, what matters is until then can you be a support to him, if not then go for the one who already has property if that matters a lot for financial security.

    I feel with 2nd case, mostly you wont get comments on size, education, working/non-working status, property etc etc.
    What matter most is are you ready to accept a new person in your life apart from your parents & brother?
    Are you ready to accept his parents, mostly guys with loads of property also come with parents living together & you did mention on other thread that you have issues mixing up with new people.
     
  6. asuitablegirl

    asuitablegirl Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    3,369
    Likes Received:
    357
    Trophy Points:
    183
    Gender:
    Female
    Karthika,

    You still haven't given much info or your feelings on either guy. Again you mention 'fat'... which has nothing to do with personality or feelings of either guy.

    So ask yourself, which guy do I like more? which guy do I see myself able to fall in love with?

    You seem to have as much passion for these guys as you would two bannanas in the vegetable market! So.. maybe take it slow and investigate your feelings further.
     
  7. mithy232

    mithy232 Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,663
    Likes Received:
    47
    Trophy Points:
    83
    Gender:
    Female
    ASG, I doubt whether she was given a chance to interact with those guys... and thats why the confusion.

    Karthika, you better go with your parents decision. Else talk to the guys, try to know them better and decide.
     
  8. Spiderman1

    Spiderman1 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    4,555
    Likes Received:
    101
    Trophy Points:
    130
    Gender:
    Male
    Is marriage a joke? or is this thread a joke?
    ASG is correct in saying this is like buying vegetables. Tamasha! I am dumbfounded.

     
  9. ArchanaP

    ArchanaP Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    788
    Likes Received:
    21
    Trophy Points:
    55
    Gender:
    Female
    Karthika,

    I think you misunderstood Ranchu. When she mentioned about personality, it's the inner personality not the looks. You should first know what you want, whom you can be happy with and make your choice accordingly.
     
  10. mkarthika

    mkarthika New IL'ite

    Messages:
    47
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    6
    Gender:
    Female
    hi
    I feel the second one is good in inner personality.

    Also i want one more clarification on his job.He is diploma in electronics and working in Terumopenpol (japanese company in india)-a blood bank equipments as service engineer(repair the nonworking equipments).He have 4 years experience.
    When i asked him why he chose this medical field to work,he told the future is good in this field.Is it so?
    If he further study his bachelor of engineering degree in electronics in part time, will he get higher position(promotion) in the same Terumopenol itself?

    thanks
    karthika
     

Share This Page