Hi all, Indusladies is one platform that provides solace to the distressed one’s, clarity to the confused one’s and strength and support to the needy. I am a woman in early thirtees, divorced a year and half ago after a short span of marriage, on realizing that I was wedded to a gay. After a roller coaster ride of emotions of fear, anxiety, devastation, denial and finally, acceptance of reality over a period of time, with the support of kith and kin, I have stood up to look for a partner for myself. Professionally, I am well off and at the moment, pursuing higher education and that keeps me busy and healthy. The thought of having already been through this process of match finding and the miserable failure following it, has crushed my confidence in choosing the right one. I would like to tell about a prospective match that has come my way and have been speaking to him last four months. We live in different parts of India and have met twice. Owing to the covid pandemic, we couldn’t catch up face to face, but have been in touch all this while. He’s also in his early thirties, working in the IT industry in a metro city, living with his mom, who’s is physically challenged due to a condition since birth, but can still manage to carry on her activities by herself. His dad is no more and he’s the only child. Financially, they own a few houses, which they manage by renting out. His mom is into stock market, being at home she makes / loses some money. That’s been their life all these years. He’s also a divorcee following a short marriage. He says that he broke the ties because of constant bickering and nagging especially on finances from his wife and father in law and the trigger was when he had to deal with physical violence on him, for which he had to get a MLC certificate to protect himself. During the conversations, I get a feel that he’s being genuine and has been truly hurt because of the past experience and is yearning to get a lifelong companion and a family for himself. I would say, we have become good friends over these months, that we could talk everything frankly. We have spoken at lengths about my professional career and even talked about the opportunities in his place and he seem to be interested in it and I feel he would be supportive at it. About his career, he’s a person who would want to earn to head a moderate lifestyle and he considers himself not very keen on materialistic life. He claims that he’s not a person who’s aiming big and would prefer to have a decent work – life balance. We have already spoken about finances. I know, for a fact, he earns quite well. He says that he doesn’t have any savings in his account. Whatever he earns, he spends for monthly groceries, utility bills, EMI for a plot he has bought and gives the rest to his mom, who invests it in stock market. Whatever she earns / loses, she puts in her account and the rent of all her houses, goes to her. And he also claims, she has saved quite a lot of money on her account. On one of our conversations, he said that he wanted to buy a furniture for his mom, which costed around 20,000 rupees, but planning to buy after he gets the next month salary, as he’s out of money right now. This hit me. I was confused as to why he didn’t use the money that she has saved?? This is my point of concern. Before you come to any conclusion, I would like to emphasize that, I am not a spendthrift, I spend only if it’s required. But fortunately, I have been blessed to be raised in a family, which has bought me whatever I wanted. To be precise, I never had to wait for the next month to get something I wanted. Now, I am confused as to whether my thoughts on finances is apt in this scenario. Or am I over thinking? Will this become a problem in the future? I am willing to take it and change myself if the majority believes my thought process is wrong. I am just confused and that’s why I am writing this. Another point of concern is his communication style. He talks very well on phone but not much on texts. We don’t even exchange good morning texts or any kind of texts during the day mostly. I have tried bringing up this issue, for which he says he doesn’t feel emotionally connected through messages and he’s just not a message person and that he yearns for this one to one connect over phone. After I have spoken about this a number of times, he also became emotional and felt sorry for making me sad and became worried on how would the future be if he doesn’t understand my desires and continues to disappoint me. When I send texts, he replies most of the times, but sometimes doesn’t, for which he says that he was busy with work / personal commitments. Sometimes, this makes me feel if I am the last person on his mind. I agree we aren’t committed yet and we talk just as good friends. Am I expecting too much here or is it just how men are or should I also not be too much available on texts? I understand that this is quite lengthy and may be a long read. I request you all to go through this and give your valuable inputs. It would help me to take a wise decision and lead a happy life, which I have been yearning for. I have already posted in singles forum, I decided to post here again for more responses from the married folk. Thanks for reading.