How To Be Authoritative And Have The Life I Have Always Dreamed Of?

Somehow it seems I am being pushed over but I don't realize it till it's too late.

Apart from being bullied by an illiterate male from a poor family (past marriage), I notice other instances in life when I'm being pushed over.

For professional situation a coworker suggested not being overly friendly... At least till you know the person to some degree.

But what about when running errands when you are wearing khakis and sneakers.

Someone once suggested if you wish to be treated like an adult at least dress like an adult ... Which does seem fair. In USA old days people dresses like adults, i.e. no jeans, sneakers, etc.

One one hand I look easily approachable but on the Other hand some bad people take advantage.

I can list some examples if you wish.

How do I get idea in my head when to speak back.

Should I say, "Excuse me, ".

Hope I am making sense.

I know if I am more authoritative and assertive I will get the best life I wish to have.

Please help. I know I deserve better. How to do better things?

In the Other hand I wish to be polite and respectful.

Just now I was at the office kitchen getting lunch from the fridge. I was blocking two young lady's way.

Once I closed the fridge I asked the you g ladies to pass through. They smiled a d days I pass through first.

Does this make me a pushover. Of it were older ladies or makes I would have fine first but if it is someone who I feel is younger to me and the fairer gender I always accommodate.

Even when waiting in line for coffee if I accidentally get in front of someone that person would let me go ahead of them (usually an older man or woman).

So I also would like to know proper etiquette and decorum, in addition to being authoritative and assertive.

 

Even we are born a certain way, I believe we can change for the better.

I really don't like being pushed over. It is so demoralizing!