How to annoy people

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by sugarnspice, Mar 5, 2008.

  1. sugarnspice

    sugarnspice Bronze IL'ite

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    How To Annoy People In An Elevator
    Ask, “did you hear that cable snapping sound?”
    Call the psychic hotline from you cell phone, and ask if they know what floor you’re on.
    Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, “That’s mine!”
    Hum the theme from Mission Impossible with yours eyes darting around the elevator

    Ways to Annoy Public Bathroom Stallmates

    Cheer and clap loudly every time someoe breaks the silence w/ a bodily function noise.
    Drop a marble and say, "Oh ****! My glass eye!"
    Stick your open palm under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"
    Say, "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that."

    General Ways to Annoy People

    Announce when you're going to the bathroom.
    Ask people to prove everything they say. (e.g. "I'm Bob, nice to meet you..." "PROVE IT!")
    Before exiting the elevator, push all the buttons.

    Ways To Annnoy Your Roommate

    Become a mime. Nothing is more annoying than a mime.
    Ask your roommate if your family can move in "just for a couple of weeks."
    Buy some turtles. Paint numbers on their backs. Race them down the hall.
    Chain yourself to your roommate's bed. Get him/her to bring you food.

    Ways to Annoy People on the Beach

    Wear t-shirt that says, "I'm the coolest dude on this pathetic beach. No autographs please."
    Ask everyone you meet, "Hot enough for you?"
    Sing the "Barney" theme song as loud as you can.
    If you see kids building a sand castle, say, "That's not a real castle!"

    Ways to Annoy People At An Amusement Park

    Leave large gaps in between you and the people in front of you while waiting in line.
    Offer people money for their spots in line...MONOPOLY money.
    Find someone to tell your life story to.
    Whisper right in someone's ear, "I know what you did last summer."

    Ways To Annoy People On The Subway

    Stand in front of the doorway and glare at people when they try to get by.
    Constantly ask people for directions.
    Don't take a shower for a month.
    Tell the people your problems. They really want to know.

    Ways to Annoy People in the Office

    Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that.
    Email your boss the message: I know what you did last vacation.
    Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.)
    Schedule meetings for 4:14 pm.

    Ways to Torture the Pizza Guy

    Ask for the guy who took your order last time.
    Ask if you they can put food color in the cheese.
    Ask them to not put a band-aid on it this time or you will sue.

    How To Annoy People On An Airplane

    Call the stewardess "nurse".
    Don't use deoderant, then "accidently" stick your armpit in someone's face
    If someone has a bad toupee, whack it off.
    No matter what the meal choices are, demand rice-a-roni.

    Ways to Annoy Usenet (internet newsgroup) Users
    Post a message asking how to post messages.
    Post recipes on rec.pets.cats.
    Follow up a 200-line post to add only your signature.
    Flame yourself, and complain to your own postmaster.

    Ways To Be Annoying In A Mall
    Sprint up the down escalator.
    Ask for red-tinted lenses at the optometrist.
    Change every TV in the electronics department to a station showing “Saved by the Bell”.
    Put weird backgrounds on store computers when people aren't looking.

    Ways To Annoy People In Restaurants
    Two Words: Food Fight.
    Play with your food; to add effect, act like it's a special performance for the people at the next table.
    Whenever anyone leaves their seat at another table, put some particularly messy peice of food on their seat.

    Ways To Annoy People At The Movies
    Throw popcorn in the air and yell, "It's snowing!"
    Go, "Oooooh..." whenever anyone kisses.
    Clap when the good guy gets killed.

    How To Annoy Your Waiter
    Eight hour lunch; two dollar tip.
    Ask, "Excuse me, are you a really bad singer, or a really bad actor?"
    After he describes each special, you shout, "Stinks!"
    Whenever he walks by, cough and mutter, "Minimum wage."

    How To Annoy Your Driver
    Always tell the driver to slow down or speed up.
    Every time you see a car pulling out, yell to the driver "Watch it!"
    Point to the right and tell the driver to make a left.

    Annoying Things To Do During A Job Interview
    While shaking hands get into a heated thumb wrestling match.
    Stick a piece of broccoli between your front teeth, smile a lot.
    Demand that if hired you want desk plate that reads, "Big Kahuna."

    another Simple Way.... post messages like this.. and... annoy... peeple....... [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]

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