How To Accept The Death Of A Loved One

nakshatra1 · Sep 24, 2020

joylokhi said: ↑

You have brought out exactly what I felt and feel to this day on the death of my parents. They passed away in their 80s only and due to old age normal wearing down . Even so, so many regrets that I couldnt be by their side when it actually happened due to my own occupation with my job/homework and managing children's activities etc. My parents always managed their affairs by themselves knowing that I was having a full time job and managing my family at outstation. So never had any expectations or demands for my time and help. However, i did my best by visiting them once in four to five months gap for a few days at a time. I think children with demands of their own family cannot be hundred satisfied with the attention they give their parents. If there is too much concentration on these, the immediate family will invariably suffer. It is not humanly possible to do justice to both. There may be a few who are lucky to have their parents and family all together and carrying on without any hassles. So, i think instead of getting depressed worrying about things beyond our control, as you say we can pray to God for welfare of all. Moreover, what ever happens is all ordained by God, and we are just playing our parts. Thats what i feel. Be cheerful and believe in a super power, that is God, above us leading things on.
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Im so touched that you shared your personal thing with me.

Yes, the only solution is to leave it to God and have faith that He knows what to do at which time, and He will take care of everything, that there is a larger purpose behind our pain.

nakshatra1 · Sep 24, 2020

Rihana said: ↑

@nakshatra1

Another way I used on really low days was guilt... I know it sounds odd. I "scolded" myself that if I am so immersed in sorrow I cannot be a good friend, mother, wife, colleague...

The most effective strategy was for me to realize that if I am sad, the one who is gone will also be sad.

Not knowing what happened to them after death -- this is a tough one. It was harder than I thought it would be. All my rational/atheist etc stuff went out the window when an aunt called up to kindly inform me that she had had a dream.. apparently we had not performed one ritual properly so the person came in her dream and yada yada yada..
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Yes, definitely it is our responsibilities that give us the strength to carry on, or else momentarily life can feel devastating and meaningless. The guilt only gives us strength to be their for everyone else.

So sorry about that aunt of yours,These politics will always be there- so sorry she said those things to you.I hope you realise it is just an agenda and not pay any heed. I noticed the ones who really cared for them are trying to be normal and make others family members normal so that others will not become weak- but the ones who resented them are too eager to prove how they were the ones who did the most for them than anyone else by focusing on rituals etc. The one who is truly grieving is not in a state of mind to compare who did what.

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How To Accept The Death Of A Loved One

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