How Soon Is Too Soon To Resume Work After Baby Birth?

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by Anusha2917, Apr 20, 2022.

  1. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 IL Hall of Fame

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    Ever since I read this news "Bharti singh criticized for starting work 12days postpartum" I have been wondering why would anyone start their work so early? But anyway who I am to judge her? And then I saw this post in Instagram which puts it clearly "it's a choice". The comments is a bit mixed. Some said body needs time to recover but most supported and said it's okay to do what the mother and baby are comfortable with and few others also said it's a competitive and creative field for Bharti. There's no paid maternity leave in movie industry and all work are on contract basis.

    Just a healthy discussion thread this is. I'm not judging anyone here. But had my thoughts: whether it's okay to start work 12 days pp or we need to spend few initial days/months with baby.?

    I had the privilege to take a break and resume full time work when my baby was 1.5 years. Off course this worked for my family and we did what worked for us.
    Few questions :
    1) So when did you resume work PP?
    2) Did you have to quit work after childbirth?
    3) Did you start immediately after maternity leave or extended your maternity leave?

    Let's keep the discussion healthy please as I started this thread to understand what common people think about this topic. Not from a celebrity or media perspective.

    Screenshot_2022-04-20-06-08-26-275_com.instagram.android.jpg
     
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  2. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    I went back to work after a 12- week maternity leave, which is what my company offers. I had plenty of other leave so I could have easily extended to 6 months but it would have been difficult for my team to cope. Once I returned my DH took a month’s leave. My parents were also present then so my kid started daycare at 5 months old.
    Quitting work was not something we considered. I love my job and since mine is a niche field it wouldn’t have been easy to readily find a similar position.
    Everyone should do what is best for them. 12 days seems soon but she must clearly have an excellent support structure to do that.
     
  3. sarvantaryamini

    sarvantaryamini Gold IL'ite

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    12 days is too early. I too took 12 weeks off but I personally think 6 months are ideal especially for second child. If I had a choice, I would have taken an year off for the second delivery. I understand that's not feasible or practical but it would have been nice if it were possible.
     
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  4. preeti6years

    preeti6years Silver IL'ite

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    I took 24 weeks maternity break which was our Org. Policy then. However when I decided to rejoin I hired a caretaker for my dd, used to keep expressed milk available for her.
     
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  5. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    it depends on the work and how you personally feel.If it is remote and you are physically very strong and a very low stress job and few hours a day..maybe for a change one can do.

    depends on situations if it is a dire need and an absolute necessity.Either ways no judgment is needed but in this case..clearly health matters.

    Personally I started to feel better only after 3 months myself being a c section and I was super tired.

    12 days seem too soon and she clearly must be a super woman to have that physical and mental strength.

    I sometimes feel in the name of feminism,people are promoting unhealthy choices.It kind of backfires on the woman.To keep proving the strength mentally and physically, also that we can do it all and taking unnecessary workload even when not needed puts undue strain and then in the end suffer.Sometimes giving up on ego and making clear and smart choices is good.

    Everything has a time to do it and a need.Yes we all have the potential but one needs to do what is right for their Situation and health
     
    Last edited: Apr 20, 2022
  6. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    When I saw it under New Threads, I thought OP was asking for advice. : ) I came running to the thread... : ) Turned out OP asking for opinion, not advice. : )

    Then reading the thread, I was thinking of my two friends with the name Bharti Singh.. I haven't heard of the comedian. : )
    Nice way to discuss any women's issues. Respect the woman's right to her choice on the issue while also discussing the pros and cons or reasons for the choice.

    From a common people perspective: twelve days is not too soon to resume work. If the woman feels she can, she can. If she wants to, she should.

    Does she need to spend few initial days/months with baby?
    There may be some studies that show a baby feels safer near mother etc. Just as there are studies that show breastmilk is the best milk. I think the mother should do what is best for her, what makes her happiest. If going to work gives her sanity, so be it. If she is going back to work early to make a point, so be it. If she is opting for 100% formula feeding as she wants to go back to work, still so be it.

    Getting pregnant, carrying a baby, delivering it, and then being a mother to it for 18-20 years is such a tough job. So, I think the mother's wishes should be fully and unambiguously respected at every stage and she be given all the help and support that can be given.

    The mental load -- the invisible labor -- that falls on a woman's shoulders is not equitable but it is what it is. It has been written about at length for some years now but not much has changed:
    What Is The Mental Load? Women's Invisible Labor | mindbodygreen
    You should’ve asked (a very funny comic presentation that any mom with young kids will totally relate to).

    Having lived through that mental load, I find it hard to say women should do any parenting task in a certain way. Let them do it the way each wants to. Mom knows best.
     
    Last edited: Apr 21, 2022
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  7. NOW

    NOW Gold IL'ite

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    I did not have a very strong opinion on when to start work after my first child and was ok with the paid 8 weeks maternity leave. I had the luxury of parents support and work from home which made it easy peasy. 4 years later I felt entirely the opposite way and felt exhausted for over 8 months after delivery !! I would say it is a combination of choice, practicality and listening to your own body and needs. When you have a good support system around you that actually takes some of the tasks of your plate completely and also provides few hours of child care daily it becomes much easier in early months. @Rihana said it so right.. each to their own.. it is not like motherhood challenges stop after your baby turns 1 or 3 or 7.. it is life long project..
     
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  8. sarvantaryamini

    sarvantaryamini Gold IL'ite

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    I am bothered by the fact that people (in general) massively under play a woman's role in bringing up a child. If this person is so career focused she should stick to career. Why have a kid and not bond with it? She is not doing justice to job or motherhood. While some women are single mothers for whatever reasons and are forced to come back or because they don't have the option of a break, I am pretty sure they must be feeling bad about not bonding with their baby. I don't really feel like clapping for women who do it only for their career because as such women are criticized in workplace for not contributing 'enough'. We don't need such examples to make it worse for fellow women.
     
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  9. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 IL Hall of Fame

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    Thank you Malstorm. support structure (read family)is such an important thing. Agree.
     
  10. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 IL Hall of Fame

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    Yes. Now it's 24weeks in India. Also so many policies to express milk and office and facilities to store them :)
     

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