How Should One React To Silly Lies And To Disrespect?

How should one react/ respond-
1) To an employee (who works for you ie You pay them their monthly salary) running late (without informing) and not answering your calls saying their cellphone was on silent mode.

2) To an employee taking too much time for a simple task that they would take less than 20 minutes to complete, before. (This behavior is intermittent- there are phases when the employee behaves like this and then returns to their normal efficient self after a few days . What's irritating is the fact that I can not predict their behavior)

3) To a colleague who keeps lying for silly things. eg spreading a rumor that they R2I because they were homesick and to take care of their aging parents when the fact is that they were trying to get in touch with even shady placement consultants to continue working abroad, after their visa was no longer good. Also, their parents don't even live in the same city and another family member stays with them.

4) To an acquaintance who says their son has taken admission in a mediocre engineering college in their town because they wanted him to stay close to home. Actually, his All India Rank was low and so he could not get into any of the decent ranked Univs.

I know most of these situations are not worth spending too much time on but their repeated occurrence is totally annoying. Am I reacting unnecessarily? Should I just ignore all these and focus on the positives, as applicable?

 

Thanks for your reply, dear @Rihana

Points 1 & 2 are pertaining to a Multi-tasking staff member in an office set up. So what you said here is quite relevant.

Sorry for the bad taste in case of points 3 & 4. I know their situation well because they have shared the truth with half the world, including me, in the past. So why white wash it now? I mean truth always prevails. Why should one try to wear masks then?

In case of Point 3, they have a thriving career in India. Why weave tales when everyone is aware of the fact and make a fool of oneself in the process? Really not required, right?

In case of Point 4, the student has gotten admission on merit. The requirements for admission in that college were easy to meet and he got through. That's fine but the point is it was solely on merit. I feel the parents should have owned up to it. They are sending wrong signals to the son. Their words are covering up the fact and give an impression that their son's score (however low it may be) is not good enough to share. The parents should have been truthful about it all and made the son feel comfortable with the situation. I feel innocent teens like this one may feel subtly judged with this attitude of parents. What do you think?

In any case, I don't have the heart to talk to these people to discuss my perspective with them. I am only trying to understand their behavior to learn my lesson from it.

 

Thanks @kaluputti for your reply. Thanks for validating my feelings. Your post made me feel heard. I appreciate your suggestion of using the same spontaneity to reverse my thoughts. I will try it. J

 

@Rihana, I do accept what people say at face value. Trust me... I am a good listener. However, my over-analytical mind sometimes goes into speculation mode. These people lie without a care in the world. Is lying used only as a coping mechanism in this situation or is it used to work out other situations as well? I know, this is a silly thought but it was bugging me for some time now.

In case of the R2I fellow, it isn’t like you were fired or something. Your visa was not good any more. Why take it personally then? Why fear being judged for something you are not responsible for? It wasn't your performance or credit score or any such thing that made you R2I. It was only your visa.

In case of the Engineering student , thanks for the other POV.

"I understand right now this is a sore spot and you don't want to shine light and fresh air on it."

I am learning from you all the time. Thanks.

In my brutally honest (utopian) world, I failed to recognize this as an option. That family’s handling the situation the way they did, got me thinking about how I will react if it was my child. I thought, it would be good if my family is honest about it all, if ever we have to face such a situation. After the initial bouts of pity/ told you so/ etc. settle down, we will never have to face any guilt of being dishonest with the world or with ourselves too. I mean there will be no scope for any fear of any unpleasant situation coming up due to this, in future. I don’t know… I may be wrong!

I want to know more about crafting those sentences and navigating such situations. There is a sense of (unwarranted) fear in my mind. How will I handle my child if she for some reason does not score well on any important test that she is working at. How do I help her prepare herself to face a situation like this?