how should I React?

After what happened to you today,you still end your post with this line- "Also every time he adds a female coworker, I go down in the dumps."

There is no use of apologising to your husband.It is like he is banging his head against a blank wall..:bonk.I sympathise with him.

 

HM,

Relationships are based on trust. The foundation of a relationship itself is trust. I am sure you know that it is very difficult to stay with a man you don't trust. Every single thing he does or say will create suspicion in you. Be it for a good purpose.

No point crying over a spilt milk. All you can do now is just let this matter rest. You seem to be an impatient person by wanting everything done there n then. Please be patient. You have to give him time to cool down. Knowing your character, I'm sure eventually he will start being normal with you again but till then give him time and most of all some space.

Adding a female friend does not mean that he is planing to flirt dear. Step back and look at the bigger picture. The more you continue being like this, the more he is going to annoy you. So think rationally and try to learn to give and take. You need to work on trusting him first....
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homemaker,

i will relate a small scenario here. Take a glass and fill it with water up to the rim. Keep on adding more and more just because you want all the water in the world to be in that glass. What will happen next?? Water overflows....the glass can hold only what it can! Did you understand anything from this? There needs to be a LIMIT, a BOUNDARY for any relation in this world. You just can't say "I am possessive" and make somebody's life hell!

I always had the mental picture of moms with two kids being extremely busy with their daily activities,....and you seem like you have lots of time on your hands.

Don't you watch TV? Where are you? In India or US? wherever you are, there are breaking news stories going on in the world! In India, you can follow the Satya Sai baba's trust mess and in the US, follow the Casey Anthony murder trial!! How do you find so much time to worry about these issues? Man! Zuckerberg is the one to be blamed!!

and one more thing, you said you feel down and upset when your husband adds female friends....no offense here....let's just say your husband wants to add all the females on to his list....why would all these females be interested in a married guy with two kids...did you ever think of that?

 

HM,
You are being extremely foolish. Without even reading and understanding the crux of our advice, you keep behaving in the same way. So, you have decided to mess up your marriage and destroy the happiness of your whole family especially your nice husband. I think you need to a see a psychiatrist as soon as possible. Best of luck.

 

Dear HM,
You are the one who created the situation. Even after this, you dont want to change yourself. But you want a change in your DH. Do you know the pain of being victims of suspect? Read the threads where people talk how their spouse suspect them and how they feel for that. You are always worrying in your own world, but not carring about your DH how he will feel.

Being friendly with a coworker (Men or women) is quite common in todays world. If he wants to cheat you and have fun outside, he wont put your kids photos in facebook. He can hide everything and he can enjoy.

If you want to calm him down, try to change yourself. Trust is the basic of married life. Trust him. Try to make him happy. Dont dumb yourself to hell. Being possesive is different from suspecting. I am possesive, every women is possesive, but I never suspect my DH. Because I know very well that no one can substitute me to him. Thats love and thats life.

 

Homemaker,

First of all you must not be a 'Homemaker'
Find a job even if it is a less paying job. Go for it.
You need problems around you...otherwise you will create one for others.

You don't want him to talk to any of his female colleagues...okay. Then find a job, feed your family and pass on the homemaking job to your DH. Let him be at peace at home.
Did you ever think about your contributions to the family?
What are you doing to your kids? Don't set a bad example to your kids.
Concentrate on your life HM.

Check with a doc. You seriously need counselling.

 

HM,

I think it is high time to see a psychologist. I am not joking. You need to seriously do something to get out of this nature of yours not to spoil your own life. You know your problems clearly and hence it should be easy to get out of it with the help of some professional.

 

To be frank i never accept my hubby s request on FB or Orkut. I never share any details of my FB account with him. I need privacy. That doesnt mean i m bad wife or a cheater. He respects my thoughts so even you should give him some space.

 

Homemaker, your behavior is not normal. I told you this in your other posts, but you need to seek professional mental help. I think after you seek help, you will look back on this time in your life and really be shocked at how you were. There is NO SHAME in seeking counselling for your problems. In fact it will be doing a great favor to your husband. Maybe once you get your mind on the right track, your relationship with him will improve and you will be way more happy than you are right now. Please think about it.

 

Everyone here has been telling you exactly the same thing...<?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-comffice:smarttags" /><st1:stockticker>GET</st1:stockticker> PROFESSIONAL HELP NOW!