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How Should I Proceed And Change Myself.

Discussion in 'Working Women' started by Autumn10, May 23, 2020.

  1. Autumn10

    Autumn10 Senior IL'ite

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    Hi Friends,

    I am needing some help with coping up what I am going through right now.I am a software developer by profession with around 9 years of industry experience and 5 years of on and off gap.

    In these 9 years I have switched almost 8-9 companies because something or the other and also gaps in between.These switches were mainly because of unable to handle politics, moving in and out of country and visa issues .At other times it was financial growth , work-life balance ,maternity break etc .

    I joined after a maternity break of 3 years,I had no support for a kid so stayed home.After this I carefully chose an organization with the aim of continuing for a longer period.It is not that big org but had heard good reviews about it before joining in terms of work life balance etc and it was also close to my home and son' s daycare.

    As soon as I joined ,I was on a bench for 3 months and finally had to agree on a project which is at other office location far from my home and son's daycare.After joining the project I realised there is a lot of dependncy on domain knowledge of the the project than the technical expertise and there is a lot of resistance from people already here ,in terms of sharing the product knwolege and giving the work on core components.I still continued the work on the other components and learned them,still no knowlege on main components.

    Right now the situation is ,due to covid situation there is a lesser budget and people are being moved out of a project,I will be surely considered as a candidate because I am new and not much dependency due to lack of domain knowledge. I will be completing a year here after a month. Now I am not sure what should I do ,if I am moved out of project I am not sure how long will I be in resource pool due to lack of projects here.what will be the situation if I do not get a project for a longer time.should I start looking outside with the current covid situation.

    I m Very very confused and stressed because of this. With this career track of switching companies so often,will I get a job easily.If I get one and it's far from my home ,I will have to switch house and move to some other place ,also change my baby's dayscare who will be 3 soon .

    Please advise me on how should I handle this.i really did not want to switch the company so soon this time .

    Also one problem i am seeing is ,i always gave my 100% at evey postion working really hard and was always dedicated till last day of work.I also got recognition at some places but the problem is i had always been a victim of office politics to the point that i had to switch the workplace.People are good to me in general ,but do the tricks when it comes to giving me credit or unnecssary picking up flaws in my work.

    I am not sure whether its beacuse of low self esteem or not acting very professional at work place ,or coming out as emotionally weak person.I am not sure what is it about .Manier times my friends at office have told me that I look tensed and lost all the time.i also get work presssure very quickly and come out as very competitive at times.I have always worked in male dominated teams and most of the times single woman on the team.

    Also due to not able to handle politics and frequent switches ,also with the way people act by looking at my career track ,I have lost my confidence to big extent.It also had impact on my physical, mental and emotional well-being and my happiness levels in general.

    I do not want to give much importance to my career other than for financial needs.i want to enjoy and lead a happy life no matter how my career is going.my kid is growing, i do not want to come out as tensed and stressed all the time..
    Please help me on what can i do to improve this.
    sorry for long post.thank you so much for reading.
     
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  2. messedup

    messedup Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi Dear...Hope everything is going good at your end. While reading your post I related myself with this. And believe me you are far better...I was also in this line but left in just 2 years due to all such politics and even after 10 years not able to start afresh due to various situations. I can very well understand how bad is this. People becoming more selfish and cunning these days. They just want their position and status no matter at what cost. Its not a talent that everyone have. But you should at least be observant not to get trapped by them. No need to do bad with anyone but just protect yourself and don't trust anyone.

    Regarding your career I am not competent enough to advice but would say with my understanding that don't worry about it at present. This year is just to be safe. Everything comes after that. Just be free and enjoy the time with your son.

    And also there is no need to always give your 100%. Its just that you should have to capability to show you are giving more than that. Software line is very competent. One has to stay updated always and should be able to handle all the stages of the project. But not everyone knows everything. Some people do know others just pretend to know. But never ever show that you don't have any knowledge about anything in this world.

    Take Care
    ________
     
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  3. Autumn10

    Autumn10 Senior IL'ite

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    Thank you so much for reply. Your words are really comforting to me.you are right in saying that safety comes first in these critical times.i will implement all the tips you gave,I can very well relate to them.thanks again.
     
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  4. ProudIndian

    ProudIndian Gold IL'ite

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    I think you should enjoy time with kid and utilize this time to sharpen your skills in your core skill set right now. Don’t start looking job right now. If you get new job you might be in confusion again. Wait and watch what happens in current position. Don’t get attached to any company or job. Think like this is stepping stone in your career.
     
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  5. Autumn10

    Autumn10 Senior IL'ite

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    Thank you for Reply.you are right I should.concentrate on my kid now..today only I got a news that I am shifted to other non billable task,not sure what would happen next..too much uncertainty building up.
     
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  6. lavani

    lavani Gold IL'ite

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    I am not sure what is your job . this input is valid for coding and tech based jobs only. Do not give 100% to office work.

    If this is a tech you are working, give 100% to learning and mastering that, then give value to your work. once you have mastered the tech. focus on learning new tech. companies do not care about anyone other than their profits. only your skills can help.

    tech looks so easy from outside that it pays well, but mastering is very hard. coding well and finishing a full app is really not easy.

    sorry, office and office politics are just side time pass. do your work and move on, focus on your kids and spouse. if you are above them in your work and also show case that or be selfish in grabbing new projects by learning those skills. even making dummy projects which you think can help business. if they let you go also, you can show case that in resume.
     
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  7. Autumn10

    Autumn10 Senior IL'ite

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    Thanks for replying.yes I am purely into technical stuff ,work as a java j2ee developer. it's just that o always feel whatever efforts I am put in I do not get that recognition back.either someone takes it or they do not want to give the credit.not sure why this happens.still figuring out.i console myself saying at least I have a job getting paid,but still sometimes it feels really bad,when putting in so much efforts does not give you anything.
    As you mentioned ,i have started enhancing the skill set too.
     
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  8. ProudIndian

    ProudIndian Gold IL'ite

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    Op everyone feels same what you are feeling. We have to do our karma and not expect much otherwise we get disappointment. I think you are still young but you will understand this as you mature. I am working almost 25 years in IT (5 years in India) so I am telling you from my experience. At this age I feel sad for not enjoying time with my kids when they were young. I used to feel down with office politics or husband in law’s problems. Now my kids are big and don’t need me at all. Jobs come and go. Stressing about it doesn’t improve anything. We have to keep upgrading our skills to keep up with technology and job market. You can look for new job but don’t get attach to any job. Then you won’t get disappointment.
     
  9. Angela123

    Angela123 Gold IL'ite

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    You have identified your problems. That is half way through. Do not give into office politics and try to maintain the fact that they are colleagues nothing more than that. the friendship/competitiveness etc will not stay for longer usually, when people move on to other jobs they forget. Also, it is okay to give 100% to the job, but treat job as a job, nothing more than that. try to enjoy the working atmosphere but keep it separate from emotions, you will lose projects, people will be jealous of you if you move up the ladder, many things happen. Take it as a part of job. All you need to make sure you are doing your part and end of the day, you stay as what you want to be.

    I am not from an IT background, I would in a office where women are minority - just one against 20 people. It is hard, but not impossible. Frequent switching of jobs can be a reason for office politics, because you move on before you get to know people, but do what works for you!
     
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  10. Autumn10

    Autumn10 Senior IL'ite

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    Thank you for reply.I actually fear what you stated about kids.he will grow up and will not need me.i am 35 now and he is 3 ..time is moving really fast..this thought is always there in my mind.thanks for sharing your words of wisdom.will keep them in mind.
     
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