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How Should I Go About It. Reply Soon

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by shama146, Nov 12, 2017.

  1. shama146

    shama146 Gold IL'ite

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    Hi all,

    Again the same control issue. So many threads on this forum related to this. Don't know why most hubby loves this.

    There is a wedding in our close family friend on 28th Nov. The place is two hours drive. My elder sis lives over there. My hubby and sis don't get along well. My hubby is very unsocial person and hates going for marriages or anybody's house. I m just opposite.

    My hubby won't go in the wedding. I m fine with it. But he is not letting me go either giving lame excuses like it's cold and kids will become sick. Actually he doesn't like me enjoying time at my sis place. We had a big fight today. I know arguing is immaterial with him.

    How to convince him without breaking the peace of house. He is very stubborn and gets super angry if things don't go according to his wish. I m tired of this. Plz help ladies.
     
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  2. madras2018

    madras2018 Platinum IL'ite

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    Why do you tie your happiness with him going with you ? Tell him clearly that not joining you is his call. But going for the event is your choice. Make peace by cutting a compromise and accepting each others preferences.
     
  3. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    Book your tickets, inform him of your travel dates, go and enjoy your trip. People have as much power over you as you give them.
     
  4. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    As others said,go and stay with ur sis as much as u want.
    When at home these men don't even care about kids.
    Suddenly they remember kids at specific times:sconf::sconf:
     
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  5. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    I had a morrocan friend here. She used to say why u Indian women r like this.
    You r not slaves to ur husband
     
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  6. Sangeeta85

    Sangeeta85 Gold IL'ite

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    Ok if u can go without kids n ask him to take care if he thinks they may catch cold..
    u enjoy ur time there..
     
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  7. ashneys

    ashneys Platinum IL'ite

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    One of my friend was going through a similar issue. Her husband doesn't like any social gatherings but she loves it. He kept stopping her n taunting her about this.

    Initially she tried talking n explaining nicely n the usual arguments - nothing worked.

    Then she started fighting louder n bigger than him n throwing tantrums enough to frustrate the guy (enough to bother a guy who doesn't care about anything)
    or plain ignore n go for the events saying can't live a loner life n all, v need people
    - it varied depending on the situation.

    Eventually he jus stopped bothering about her outings , he doesn't go, but she goes, even travelling out of station n all now. Now n then he tries his tantrums but she keeps him in place. This won't be achieved over night, jus like how we get used to some irritating thing about our dh, they will too.

    Sometimes when we bend too much, we break in the process. First we try to achieve all this peacefully, N when no other peaceful alternatives works, it's time to stand up by being loud or strategic. Sometimes it's upto us to forcefully take half the ownership in this marriage partnership, some does it loud, some sneaky n some nice - all depending on the partner.
     
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  8. Jamelia02

    Jamelia02 Silver IL'ite

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    Everyone needs social life and if he doesn't like it he shouldn't stop you. Well, if he gets mad if things doesn't go his way...you had paved way for that from the beginning. Now, if you just go without making peace he will taunt you for every little things once you are back quoting this as the reason and you might bend for it. You may not want that and no one needs that. Try your best stating how you go low when you can't go to your very own sis place or dear friends wedding and how it can trouble your peace of mind. Throw some tantrums without being too dramatical. And most of all here on, take small steps in ensuring that your preference and priority are well respected. This suffocation in us not being able to meet our own family will out burst one day. So, without troubling each other's ego make steps to live your life to your satisfaction. All the best and I hope that you get to go to the wedding and spend some quality time with your sister.
     
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  9. Indira28

    Indira28 Senior IL'ite

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    Shama..you are not a slave..you are his wife.. you have all the rights to attend your relatives or friends wedding. you don't need any body's permission for this. if he is very much concerned about the kids..let him enjoy at home with kids.. does he ask you every time he wants to go to friend house..attend a party or so.. ?? if not you don't have to worry at all..you can just go ahead..to attend the wedding.. if he is a sort of person who informs and asks you permission for everything he does..then you can try convincing him with more details and how you would feel happy if you are attending the wedding..
     
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  10. Dishaa

    Dishaa Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Op,

    As suggested by other members, you should go and attend the function and for your husband concern about kids health, you can ask him to stay at home and take care of the kids, where as you can enjoy.

    With best wishes....
     
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