How Should I Conduct Myself?

thegirlygirl · Mar 3, 2022

ok.....ladies...
This is going to be a fun thread..
So please no moral lectures and no gyan......

I married few months back and i'm going to host my first dinner in few days.
I'm inviting his childhood friend (hubby's idol) and his wife (aka my deputy MIL....) ,his colleague who is a friend with his wife and two other guys.

His childhood friend is ok, but I can't stand his wife. She has a sharp tongue and is full of herself. She cuts me short whenever I express myself
My own MIL has great respect for this friend's wife. Apparently when my hubby was alone in our present country they all lived together...and she cooked for him and took care of him....and blah blah blah...
Mil adores her hence.

So i'm hosting the dinner as part of my DIL duties ....its not really a party or fun event for me.

So how should my attitude be during the event? I will obviously be a gracious host and treat them well.

But I would like to know what I should do to draw the line and not allow somebody to step on me and mistreat me.

Deputy MIL had hosted a prewedding dinner for us about 5 months back, where I was introduced to all.
It was less than warm.
A lot of questions were directed at me, it was an interview session. They also made fun of me, a ganging up of sorts....
So I need some advice.....

They will all chat well and get on with each other and have a good time( hopefully) ........and I will probably just sit in corner and observe all......

Rihana · Mar 3, 2022

Think beyond the corner:

1) Leave a few easy kitchen tasks to do when party is on.

2) If men and women gather in separate areas, join the men.

3) If men and women are gathered in same area, sit on your H's lap.
If sofa/ chair not sturdy enough, sit behind him and casually ruffle then smooth then again ruffle his hair.

Laks09 · Mar 3, 2022

Congratulations TGG! Welcome to the married life forum.

When I was a newly wed, I was completely clueless about the kitchen or the people management. I somehow still managed to pull things off with minimal faux pas. Just enjoy your first hosting event at home.
Here’s wishing you a very happy married life. I’m excited to see a post from you after a long time!

MalStrom · Mar 3, 2022

Clue your husband in to include you in the conversation. Sometimes guys forget and then you feel excluded when they talk about inside jokes and old history.
As for the friend’s wife she might just have one of those dominating and possessive personalities, especially if she knew your DH before you came into the picture. Don’t try to argue with her or overly impress her.
Just be your usual pleasant and cheerful self, and try to involve yourself in the group so they can’t say you’re just being aloof.
You have a built-in excuse every now and then to check on the food, the table, the dessert, the coffee…
Have fun!

ashima10 · Mar 3, 2022

Rihana said: ↑

If men and women are gathered in the same area, sit on your H's lap.
Click to expand...

best!

indubalram · Mar 13, 2022

I will suggest to invite your friends as well for the party who are going to be helpful to you. Thus will be balanced!

sarvantaryamini · Mar 13, 2022

thegirlygirl said: ↑

ok.....ladies...
This is going to be a fun thread..
So please no moral lectures and no gyan......

His childhood friend is ok, but I can't stand his wife. She has a sharp tongue and is full of herself. She cuts me short whenever I express myself
Click to expand...

Late suggestion. Simple. Don't express yourself. Stick to Hi, hello, how are you and junk. Always keep saying yes, that's bad/wonderful as per the situation. Just nod your head and agree with her.