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How Not To Care That Fil Does Not Bother To Listen Both Sides Of The Story

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by icanniwill, Apr 4, 2018.

  1. icanniwill

    icanniwill New IL'ite

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    Hello all,

    I am mostly a silent ready here. I have a typical MIL with lot of the similar characteristics that have been mentioned here in this forum. Same family drama.

    My husband and i had a love marriage. MIL was never really happy with me being her DIL. had told my parents before wedding that if her son marries me he won't get any inheritance. (Husband does not care. he says he can take care of me. i earn as well).

    The thing that is bothering me right now is that my FIL will believe whatever lies she says about me. He won't bother listening to me or asking me if what she is saying is true. I get it he is her husband. But he has a relationship with me too.

    How do i not give a F*** about him not listening to both sides of the story? Please advise on how not to care.
    How do i make peace with him believing whatever she leads him to believe?

    Thanks so much.
     
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  2. Sandycandy

    Sandycandy IL Hall of Fame

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    Have you seen Sholay ? Remember Jai Veeru ? They are inseparable , sukh dukh ke saathi. They have a scooter with a side car, one drives and the other happily joins along the journey , singing at times . That’s what your in laws are , Jai and Veeru !
    No, you are not Basanti . You are their dukh, Gabbar, their common enemy.
    Enjoy with your Samba , eat less namak . Why worry? Anyway you will not get their Zameen, purani haveli or MIL’s Heeron wala necklace, let alone Dedh saara pyaar. Phir Kyun?

    P.S. if FIL’s purani haveli is a beautiful villa in Maldives, become basanti and dance to their tunes. NO ! Just kidding .
     
    Amica, blessed, VinuthaS and 8 others like this.
  3. shravs3

    shravs3 Finest Post Winner

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    Sandy most of your replies will be filmy and humorous with answers hidden in it !! ;):clap2:
     
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  4. icanniwill

    icanniwill New IL'ite

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    Hahaha. Thanks for this wonderful reply :tearsofjoy:
     
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  5. Sangeeta85

    Sangeeta85 Gold IL'ite

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    Do u stay with them ?
    First thing he will never I mean never will listen u .. u can be goood and get beaten by words ..
    best is be a good person don't do anything beyond certain limit if so just don't do anything for them for few days or month ..let them get the feeling that u have a heart too n u r ignoring ..
    if u r strong to give back an answer then u can in sarcastic way and leave the place..
     
    icanniwill likes this.
  6. icanniwill

    icanniwill New IL'ite

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    Luckily, i don't have to live with them. They are visiting us for few months. thank you for the reply. I am getting lot of insights.
     
  7. Joyoflife

    Joyoflife Gold IL'ite

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    Sandy candy I love your sense of humour. Your analysis of whole scenario always makes me smile and laugh a lot and I absolutely love your replies,
     
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  8. Naari

    Naari Platinum IL'ite

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    Aur khilaadi ne aaj toh sixer maar diya, taaliya logon!! :thumbup:
     
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  9. ashneys

    ashneys Platinum IL'ite

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    Maybe try seeing them as "one" person instead of "two" different people.

    Also two things,
    - Either he does believe her.
    - Or pretends to believe her to not make the fights worse (this is possible if he's gotten to know you n developed some kind of bond).

    Either ways, his loyalty will lie with her, no surprise there.
    N she doesn't like you due to the love marriage, has made that clear as well. So obviously anything you do or don't do is gonna annoy her.

    As her hubby, your fil would have to hear this day in n day out.

    If he does believe everything she says, who else is he going to believe ? Why would he try to defend you when you guys aren't even living together, but he does have to live with her everyday, right ? Does he even know you that well to love, care, believe, defend you ?

    Maybe building a bond with him 'may' help you here. But it maybe tough if your mil is very strict or really unhappy.
     
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  10. Sangeeta85

    Sangeeta85 Gold IL'ite

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    Ok they r visiting do the right things to them but don’t go over the top bcz u will feel bad wen they act worst towards u..

    I did a lot n felt bad how they treat me even after doing so much going overboard and saw how good they were even though co sis did very little n still content n happy in it because she will not do anything more then that for sure ..
     
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