How Much Confident You Are About Your Husbands Support In Case In-laws?

Those who have husband support wouldn’t come to a forum like this to seek answers, right?

Most of the Indian gentlemen wouldn’t lend much support when it comes to in-law. It is lonely battle all the way if you want to stand up and fight for yourself.

 

My husband tries to find some middle way in such situation. He does not take any body's side but at the same time convey what he wants to to my IL in some lighter way, so that they dont feel bad. Also of he wants to say say something to me, he says that in personal, so that I also dont feel bad.

Ask you husband to deal with this situation in the same way.

Regards.
GJ
www.funrealities.com

 

Hi.
My dh gives my mil n fil nicely if they talk something irrelevantly. Decision will be his finally. But he discusses with all, me n his parents. He wil stand by his decisions. But he 'll never entertain me to complain about them. He 'll get wild if I do so. More over he 'll complain about them to me. I should just listen n let go. I used to criticize them.now I 've stopped cos its unnecessarily bringing distance between me n my hub
They are not bad either.they support my hub in all ways n think they are going to help me raise my kid. So I m going to be still more silent
In the beginning days I used to fight with hub about in laws. I find those issues very petty now. I had some immaturity which I m learning now
My focus have changed towards my kid n career.hope I Don t find fault n unnecessarily spoil our peace of mind. But my hub tries to be as neutral as possible. If issues are complicated he scolds them behind me. But if small issues he 'll give them then n there(mean time I 'll also get left n right nicely from him if I do wrong or be mean), but I 'll be happy if my mil gets from him
Example
My baby was farting my mil : his body is hot so only he is farting , she said. My hub readily asked"are you a gastroentrologist?"(but to remember I also get nicely for my carelessness. I always forget to switch off heaters , lights, mixie etc,. He 'll go wild then)

 

Count me in. 0% support from DH . Of late, I have stopped expecting any kind of moral support from him and I don't discuss matters related to Inlaws.

 

Initially I used to get support from him gradually mil taught him many things and now I am moral less an outsider.. He endlessly justify and hide things done by parents.

 

When marriage was new i used to get lot of support.It has reduced now a lot.
I resent him for that.

 

Mine is a complete reversed case. When we were newly married (although it was a love marriage), my husband always defended for his parents. He supported them, and of course taken their sides no matter what.
It took him several years to stay neutral and see the problem first.
I am always a straight forward person. I can't sugar coat or even apply honey in my talks. I am direct even if that is a complement or criticism. But I often ensure I don't hurt the other person.
But my in laws, specially MIL is different from me. She applies a lot of honey before she utters a word. Even if that is a complaint, she would tell it nicely. So that no one believes she is actually complaining.
My husband could not understand this until he becomes a dad.

In fact, he started to like me and love me as a mom of his kids than a girl-friend. This love has later on blossomed to be a greater love between H and W.
So, initially he could not withstand any negative comments, even if they were sugarcoated against his kids, or my upbringing of them. He started to fight back. This eventually made them understand what's in store.
So, gradually she started to be neutral and supported the facts.
He started to see the problems. Then only he understood who is the problem creator and who failed to adjust when an adjustment is needed.
So, eventually he pitted for his past mistakes and ensured he would never repeat them again.

Today, after 7+ years of marriage, I can happily announce that my H will support me. He sees our family as his family, and his parents' family as his extended family.
Although he will expect a lot of adjustments and sacrifices from my end, he would still believe me, support me and stand by me first.

 

Thats great SGBV... I have heard many such cases, only thing i wonder is that is this just time which makes them realize and you remained patient and silent for all those years or are there real good efforts from your end to make this happend?

 

Its always pleasurable to read such writings by strong woman who stand by all differences and come out in flying colors in the end. Kudos to you