How many words exchanged per day? 'tween you and your spouse!

I am wondering now is it this way in our house. Or,, is it the same with some of you too?

We have dinner at around 8pm. Kids go to bed by 8:30pm. Hubby is occupied with something or the other till dinner time. We try to have dinner with kids but sometimes he will say he will eat later. So, I sit with kids as my son, who though is in preteens wants me to eat with him. I finish with kids and get to my after-dinner chores in the kitchen. Hubby, if he eats with us, switches on the TV by 8pm else eats later at around 9 or 9:30. I just ask him once if he wants to join us for dinner and if he says NO I go ahead with kids.

All the time, no major conversation between me and hubby, sometimes not even exchange of few words. Once kids are off to bed and I am done with my kitchen, I watch TV or read a book for another hour or so and then go to bed.
Hubby also does the same. Again not much conversation between us.

I go to bed on my time and he goes on his time. Weekends also goes the same way.
We sometimes go on long walks but not much talking done. Speaking only when needed........thats how it goes on.

I am not like this with outsiders. With friends and neighbors I converse much longer than with husband. My friends call me and I can talk for an hour straight. Same case with dh too. He talks for hours over phone.

The other whole month, we both were at home for so many days. But, none of us felt like we should be going to restaurant together or mall together or somewhere or just spend quality time at home, once the kids are off the school. Nothing of that sort. We were just at home, not much words exchanged, each of us trying to do their part in the housework and then having lunch sometimes together, sometimes at separate timing and then getting back to what we were doing or taking a nap. None of us had any office work to do.....nothing.
The reason we got off from office at the same time is peculiar and coincidental which is ofcourse not much important here.

Please share yours here.

 

Thanks to all who responded. It is not that I dont want to have a happy and never ending conversation with him and also equally it is not that I wish to chat with him for hours together. I dont know but so many of the previous experiences have driven me here in this spot now.

Mstrue, I have gone through your thread and I quote this here. The words in red are from your previous thread. The bold part is somewhat why I dont prolong the discussion further with my husband.
The extract that I quoted from your post from your thread is exactly what goes on in our life. It was not like that earlier. And also, I will not say that there was so much of talking earlier too. It was kind of normal.
I mean, to make it more clear, if it was 50-60% earlier, it is mere 5-10% now !!!

Anyway, even earlier, I would talk more than him. But seeing some unfortunate misunderstandings with him I prefer to be less talking these days. If you ask me, do you want to change this, my answer would be "I dont know"......really believe me I dont know what to do. He does not make any attempt to talk more and even earlier he was not talking much but I can clearly sense that he is avoiding to talk much nowadays. I mean, people can say that anyway he was never talking much so something has changed only with you and not him. But, I know it is not that simple and I can say he has resorted to this may be also due to the reason I have highlighted from your post.

Lack of common interests, ..............Yeah, even earlier, rarely anything was there that interested both of us. But even then, if I talk about my area of interest he would listen and vice versa but these days we both have stopped that. Our interests remain intact but talking about that to each other has completely stopped.

As you said, we are like that couple who have nothing to talk if they are the only ones in the car, we go for walk and the air is quiet, we dine out and each of us places the order for themselves from the menu, we dont talk to find out what to order, if it is buffet we just go on our own and fetch food, sit there and eat quietly, at home either we watch TV without talking, do our work quietly and talk to kids or talk to each other about something really essential.
Usually, he pays the bills pretty regularly so I dont bother to ask him if he has paid or not. I get grocery etc and all kids/house related stuff so he does not ask me on that front.
The only area where we consult each other is when someone invites us. We ask each other whether we really will be going together, if so, then what time. We get ready by then and our drive to friends house is quiet. Once we are there, we individually talk to others and at that time none of our friends can even guess we dont talk much to each other, thats how much we talk to them.
Also, we talk to each other for our kids birthdays. Where to celebrate, which weekend is possible and such things. Usually, I go purchase the gift for our kid and show it to him before giving. He is OK and never said he also accompany me to the store.
If I cannot make it to our kids school or any other activity (it happens very very rarely) I call him and ask if he can make it.
Those are few times we actually talk to each other and at that time we talk normally, we dont show anger at each other or grumble. We are just fine.

Earlier, I would remind him for his check ups but these days I just lnform him only once when we get the reminder from doctors office. I dont follow up again. Earlier, it was like I was pestering him since he is very very lazy when it comes to seeing a doctor.
He does not even care if I see a doctor or not, leave alone checkups, even if I am coughing he will not ask if I am ok or not.

Our intimate time has become bare minimum and we both are going on like this from last so many months.
I have never asked him if he is happy like this neither he has. But, time is passing on like this. Infact, I have never asked myself whether I wish to remain like this. It is not even bothering me as much since I keep myself occupied with some or the other thing. I think the same is with him. He has gotten into more number of hours of work and seems to be keeping himself busy very often. If nothing then I see him taking a nap. And even I find myself doing that too. I dont nap much so I go get myself a dvd or order a pay per view movie.

Whether I want to change it or not, even I dont know.

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if they get on the car, they will resort to silence.
if they go for a walk, they will either go quietly and some would even keep a 2 ft distance..
if they dine out, they talk only to find out what to order..
if they are at home, they talk only for the essentials..

The reason could be either their inherent nature
or a self conscious measure to avoid unpleasant arguments
or even lack of common topics/interest between them. :coffee

All they talk about in a day's worth is mere daily menus, chores, bills, kids and the like. :idea
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