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How many times does your DH speak to your parents

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by smartgrl, Mar 25, 2010.

  1. smartgrl

    smartgrl Bronze IL'ite

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    Hello IL's,

    I have this question always in my mind..
    Our DH or MIL,SIL expect us to speak to then very often atleast once in fortnite.
    But on the other hand DH too should do the same to our parents too right?????
    I know ,personally they themselves would not pickup the phone and speak to our parents,i am not expecting that:rotfl
    but, atleast when we speak to our parents,if not evry week atleast once a month talking to them i good right??or is that too much to ask???
    i know they have not much things to talk,but just saying hello and enquiring abt health and things should me fine..
    but why most of our DH are hesitant to do this???is this because of MEN EGO
    so,everybody share your thoughts about this,how it happens in your family..
     
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  2. sita2223

    sita2223 Bronze IL'ite

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    My ILs don't expect me to talk to them on the phone regularly. FIL and I never spoke on the phone. Rarely when MIL wants to talk to me, she asks my DH to give me the phone. I keep in touch with my SIL online.

    My DH doesn't mind talking to my Dad occasionally. I talk about my DH to my parents. They ask me to give DH their regards. Sometimes my dad and DH talk on the phone if there is something important to discuss.

    We don't have obligations to talk to each others family and our families (both parents and ILs) don't expect it either.

    But I actually would like to talk to MIL regularly. Is that crazy?? :crazy
     
  3. mstrue

    mstrue New IL'ite

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    Very Very Rarely. If I handover the phone to him he will talk. But I noticed that both parties struggle to find topics to talk. So I saved them from that misery by not forcing him to talk. But I talk to my ILs & SIL regularly. And I don't compare and contrast as to if I talk to your parents, you should talk to mine.. I feel like talking to his side, I talk. He is not comfortable with my side.. I accept. To me, I want my kid and I to have both side grandparents and all of his relation. Relations are far more worth than anything else to me, so I don't want to mess up anything by introducing the 'my family - your family' comparison element.

    In fact to me it is comparing apples and oranges.. just my personal opinion - I know most ladies won't agree with me - it is just my way of looking at things..

    His parents will always be special to him no matter what - and isn't that natural?!
     
  4. Capetown

    Capetown New IL'ite

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    Hello ,

    Even my DH is the same, so we had a fight:cheers on this topic I directly asked him u wan me to speak to your mother n father daily, that is I have to call my MIL daily n speak to her, but my DH never calls my mother / father by his knowledge, only when i speak he will speak to them. So even i told only when u call your mom n dad ( MIL n FIL ) that time only even i will speak. So he told no u have got married to me n u should see every thing over here. YOur past is past, u have to take care over her.

    IS THIS FAIR ENOUH??????????????

    When in todays world they compare n they give so much of GYAN that both MEN and WOMEN are equall my QUESTION is why not in this matter ????? DH act like KING that they cannot call or talk to my mom n dad. I really get pised of with this matter.

    PLZ advice on this matter ......:bowdown:bonk:bonk
     
  5. vennelaaaa

    vennelaaaa Bronze IL'ite

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    I speak once in a week with my in MIL anf FIL (I dont have a SIL!)
    my Dh doesnt speak so often with my parents...my parents too dont expect him to talk with them every week...they have a very good relationship with my DH and they are not formal at all when we go to my parent's place...
    My DH doesnt speak much with them coz he doesnt know what to talk...
    I think men are like that....nothing to do with their ego or anything!
     
  6. kavyamadhav

    kavyamadhav Bronze IL'ite

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    very regularly i speak to my mom & mil ( i have no father & fil). Dh speaks to them ( both) weekly once. We have no issues on this matter. He is much caring about my mother too. Whenever my mother need her children support, he responds quickly as much as my brother responds.
     
  7. ShilpaMa

    ShilpaMa IL Hall of Fame

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    I really wonder if there are any expectations or compulsions from either side in my marriage.. tho at inital years my SIL did complain that I dint call her frequently... I can talk to people with whom I match at wavelength and the same I feel for my DH.

    Now with a lot of bitterness being set in by MIL my DH doesn't even say any THANKYOU or "wish you the same" for special occassions when my dad insists on wishing him on call.

    I know what his reactions are and try to refrain parents from getting insulted however when they do go overboard for social obligations they do hear a few things... like when my mom invited him for bro's marriage he said.. It shall be decided at a later stage in a tuff tone... she felt aghast but then I told her to chill :crazycos I'd already warned her of similar reply.
     
  8. aruna_077

    aruna_077 Senior IL'ite

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    Hi,

    In my case its just the opposite. My DH is in constant touch with my parents. He does'nt ever hesitate to call up my parents when I am unable to pass some info to them.

    And when it comes to me talking to his parents, my DH understands me perfectly if I am not in a mood to speak to them(Ladies pls don't think of me as an egoistic person..its just that I don't prefer talking on mobile often sometimes even my own parents - maybe due to stress or lack of time and there are times when its just not your day).

    And yes when I should really talk to my ILs during important occasions, I do it.

    I feel there is nothing much for a husband and wife to talk often to the respective ILs. And in the fast paced lives we all are living in, there is hardly time for a couple to spend time with each other.

    In the end, one should speak with all heart. Not just for a formality.
     
  9. ras09

    ras09 New IL'ite

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    My husband speak with my mother daily. i call my parents at night daily before sleeping.
    And my husband himself ask me to give phone to him. He is talkative. He get lots of topics to talk with my mom.
    My dad speak less even with me. I talk to my dad once in a week and same is my husband.
    so i never face this problem.
    Although my husband calls his family 3-4 times in day. i dnt know what those guys keep on discussing. And i have to talk to them once in a day altho i am reluctant to do that :)
     
  10. Spiderman1

    Spiderman1 Gold IL'ite

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    DH and DW should talk between themselves on a regular basis :)
    The rest - chill.
     

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