How many of you dont have to live with InLaws on daily basis and feel lucky about it?

SadMarried · Jul 7, 2015

From my own personal experience and from soo many posts in this thread, i came to conclusion,no matter how hard a woman try , she can never be good enough DIL for their ILS mainly MIL( i know there might be some exceptions).

I live abroad from home country , so i don't have to live with my ILs on daily basis. I honestly feel happy about that. Whenever my ILs came/come to us here in UK , they make my life so hard. Same when we go backhome. Not only ILs, my hubby start behaving like different person around them . Like not helping me on things he would normally help me , expecting me to be their slave looking after them , not supporting me on their rude behavior to me. And basically treating me like stranger or worse around them.

I try to please my in-laws , hubby and their family when we are with them , but no matter what i do non of them are happy. And i feel bad about my hubby treating me with no respect around in-laws(that leaves a hole in my heart towards my relation to my hubby). I cant wait to depart from them when i go there or they come here.

So I feel lucky i only have to tolerate them on occasional visit, not everyday. Does anyone else feel same way?

docathome · Jul 7, 2015

Re: How many of you dont have to live with InLaws on daily basis and feel lucky about

Count me in.. I can't stand the thought of living with my in laws.. All the unnecessary interference n uncalled for advice..Thanks but no thanks!!

Lathasv · Jul 7, 2015

Re: How many of you dont have to live with InLaws on daily basis and feel lucky about

Me too feel lucky and thank god for away from my in laws . I feel very uncomfortable whenever I visit India for vacation because of their unnecessary rules and attitude.

yellowmango · Jul 7, 2015

Re: How many of you dont have to live with InLaws on daily basis and feel lucky about

:coffeeHope that day does not come for a long time.

SadMarried · Jul 7, 2015

Re: How many of you dont have to live with InLaws on daily basis and feel lucky about

yellowmango said: ↑

:coffeeHope that day does not come for a long time.
Click to expand...

YM, my MIL is here now for last 3 months :bonk , hence this thought came into my mind, cant wait for next 3 months to be over ..counting days

sheztheone · Jul 7, 2015

Re: How many of you dont have to live with InLaws on daily basis and feel lucky about

U and me both sister!

PILs and I love each other more when we meet occasionally.
And I like to give myself a pat on the back for taking good care of them when they are with us!

yellowmango · Jul 7, 2015

Re: How many of you dont have to live with InLaws on daily basis and feel lucky about

sheztheone said: ↑

U and me both sister!

PILs and I love each other more when we meet occasionally.
And I like to give myself a pat on the back for taking good care of them when they are with us!
Click to expand...

That is my way too.
Thoda milo par pyaar se(meet less but with love)
We meet up twice a year.....altogether 2-3 months and I treat them like royalty when they come.I also get treated well now when I visit them.

SadMarried · Jul 7, 2015

Re: How many of you dont have to live with InLaws on daily basis and feel lucky about

yellowmango said: ↑

That is my way too.
Thoda milo par pyaar se(meet less but with love)
We meet up twice a year.....altogether 2-3 months and I treat them like royalty when they come.I also get treated well now when I visit them.
Click to expand...

YM , you treat them like royalty , but how? i think i do that too but that seems not enough. I still get to hear comments and tantrum time to time. I have noticed one thing for sure , no PILs can do bad to DIL if husband (their son) stands by his wife. but most of the men i found feel like joru ka gulam when they support their wives against their parents. My PILs used to treat me so good early years of my marriage when my hubby used to support and respect me in front of them.

Catgol · Jul 7, 2015

Re: How many of you dont have to live with InLaws on daily basis and feel lucky about

Count me in . I like my in laws I mean They have raised my husband and take good care of my son too but like you said how much ever we try to adjust with them mil simply dislikes DIL I do whatever my mil says without any hesitation but still she throws tantrums every now then I feel iam mentally exhausted . We stay in the same city but I strictly told my hubby that we are going to stay separate once we relocated from Dubai . Still we visit them And stay over the week ends .

yellowmango · Jul 7, 2015

Re: How many of you dont have to live with InLaws on daily basis and feel lucky about

SM..
1).Being a SAHM helps. Even when I was working I was teaching and was back for lunch.
2)About 5-6 years into married life(after bil got married and I realized the difference in treatment of the two dils),I stopped working in their house.I just made breakfast for husband and daughter(because we all got up late) and rotis and tea.No working together ,no chik chik tht used to happen earlier.

When they visit,I do everything from morning tea to milk at night ,served to them myself.If it is cold,I even give them hot water bottles to put in their beds at night. I make all three meals. Force children to spend time with them (means less time with me and our forced chit chats)

Usually make their favorite food often and serve sweet dishes everyday(even if it bought from outside).Sweet dishes is the way to my mil's heart.

They are not social and don't care for touristy stuff so just a cursory tick of local spots is fine for them.

I hand over the remote to them and stay off the Tv for the 1-2 odd months. Go for lots of walks and give them time to crib to each other.I am fine with this as I crib to my husband too.

I also force them to have compulsory medical tests. Husband plans and takes a few days off for this. I make tea ,sandwiches and cakes and send with them so that if fasting and post fasting tests are required,they can be done with nice tea and stuff. They enjoy this time with their son .

These days they are happy with this .

P.S ...the joru ka ghulam drama was done and dusted with. Husband wears the crown with pride.Once that happens,all drama stops. The key is the husband here.