Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by pravi9, Sep 28, 2015.
Its my situation only couldn't post everything so I restricted to post few
Why do you want to clean, cook etc? Happily eat what they make. You go to office right? Eat whatever you want outside
Do you and DH work in IT? Can you start trying to go abroad? You DH needs a proper brain job, But you cannot drive any sense into his head when inlaws are around. But i would be tempted to give him a list of restrictions and tell him they are set by your parents. Or may be just tell him when one incident happens and give him silent treatment for a few days. No xx in those days. DONT FIGHT WITH DH
do these rules apply to her son as well or just you?
People like her belong in a museum
wow, pravi that is quite a list. If that is your life then I feel bad for you. How is your mom doing now? I can see that it is really getting to you and frustrating you. All I can suggest is that you look at the opposite side of the coin for some of the things - eg, not even your Rs 100 is accepted -- means you can keep your earnings money under your control, like that and take the positive from that.
PS: I could not understand your mil obsession with 'things or people should not touch the bed'. Bathroom, periods ok I can understand but why bed? We sleep in that everyday, no?
Oh my MIL is MAJORLY obsessed with this bed business too. Her rule is :
1) As soon as you wake up, fold the mattress (even if it is the memory foam one, she will ask us to take it off the bed and keep it against the wall- imagine the effort!).
2) Take ALL the bedsheets and pillow covers and wash them and put them to dry. This has to be done for EVERY single bedsheet and pillow cover EVERY SINGLE day. Because we are in kerala, water is not a problem yet. But imagine if we were in a place with water scarcity.
3) If you want to take an afternoon nap, you have to do it on the hard bed - if you use the mattress to sleep, you have to take a bath after waking up
4) NOTHING will be placed on the bed - no clothes, no books, NOTHING.
This is in the 21st century - and my MIL is not an illiterate or uneducated person. She is a graduate. So I guess education has nothing to do with it.
S jasmine this is applicable for all.even she don't touch TV remote she use buds to operate.
But the highlight is she could do everything cooking without bath and bend all formalities which she couldn't follow
Even they were asking y u shud go mother house for thala deepavali we have nonbu here so be here
Well you may not agree with me at all here, but the truth is that if my MIL tried to tell me any rule, before even listening to whatever the rule is, I would have told her that I am not here to abide by her rules.
I am an adult and know how to live. She can live her own life by her own rules and let me live mine the way I want.
I havent lived at MIL place for more than a week at a stretch but during those days had big fights whenever anybody thought they had the liberty to interfere in my personal life and tell me what to wear, when to bathe, when to go or not go wherever etc. My point would never be whether the rule is fair or not but just that keep your rules to yourself.
My MIL still manipulates through my husband to control me but that is a different story. She hates me because I dont even want to listen to what her rules are.
If some one told me to follow these stupid rules...I would go and dance on every bed ,tough and hug every damn item and lock myself in the kitchen without having a bath.
It is such a shame that in the name of respecting elders,or traditions ,people are allowed to stifle others and suck the joy out of their life. Such dictators and OCDfied people need medical treatment,not followers.
Op...the first point itself is enough to let mil know exactly what kind of person she is.Rest all just show she has a culturally sanctioned mental disease called "MILism"where she can do what she what just because.....
She is cockoo in the head.Show her to a shrink asap.
My MIL had 50% of those rules, the reason for disagreement. I would have been devastated if all of those statements you had told were to be done.
OMG, thanks I can never cope with that situation. If I cannot make them change their rules, I would better off be divorced.
I can still remember that I had to bathe everytime before going to temples and after bathing not allowed to sit on sofa or bed. Right off away to temples and so many things to nag for DIL. Of course it does not have to be done by the SIL or BIL's wife ( bec she is like a grand daughter). The funny thing was my dh was acceptable with it and enforced me to do it. Ridiculous to think about it.
OP hope you are not doing or experiencing those stuff, and are just asking rhetorical questions.