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How many of u ready to accept

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by pravi9, Sep 28, 2015.

  1. pravi9

    pravi9 New IL'ite

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    How many of u ready to adjust and not raising issues with in laws in below situations

    Ur mother might suffered with brain clot and lost speech and u suffered alone and bringing her to Chennai for treatment but for them relative marriage is more imp will come and see ur mother next day after marriage

    In laws need not to tell everything but u shud tell all even if u get increment in office that’s shud be conveyed in home

    R u ready to accept if ur HSG report was shown and discussed with father in law

    1. Shud not come into kitchen before bath
    2. She wont touch u before bath coffee will be prepared by her and placed in a floor even if u raise ur hand to get
    3. Cloths shud be washed before bath even if u r using washing machine
    4. Washed cloths can be placed in a floor but shud not in a bed
    5. If Pooja days even by mistake u shudnt touch bed after bath
    6. Shudnt wear black bindi shudnt remove earrings
    7. Brkfast after bath if u wish to take before as said will be treated like coffee she will prepare and place food in plate without touching u
    8. Shud not do any cleaning activities after bath, if u forgot to dispose empty shampoo bottle shud be done next day before bath
    9. Shud not do any Pooja preparation as she is a owner she wl do u can just watch
    10. Shud not allowed to cook even if u have done for many yrs before marriage u can do only assisting that too u shud ready to accept fault finding nature like if u wash plates that wl be washed again simply saying its not done properly
    11. U cant select wat to cook ur suggestions will be refused simply saying father in law may not like(sometimes it may see abruptly it’s a lie just to avoid ur selections)
    12. Periods days no to kitchen, if u r coming from office by eveg 7 took headbath and cry from bathroom for towel, if no headbath simply sit in a corner till next day mng
    13. Shud not allowed to roam outside after 9pm with ur hubby
    14. Shud not do my hobbies like going an NGO
    15. Shud not involve financially in household tasks if u give just 100rs for paper that will be given back to u
    16. Shud not buy veg or groceries for home its not ur job
    17. Shud not do any cleaning in kitchen as it indicates that mother in law is not doing properly & I am correcting it
    18. U cant decide ur sarees, accessories for their relative functions, even if u don’t want to wear more jewels again its upto them. If it’s a small bday party also u shud go by saree


    List goes on….u can be like a school going kid go to office and do watever they say….each and every things falls under formalities that u shud not avoid
    U alone managed a house only with siblings u might have leaded a group before marriage but in this house u will be treated like u r nothing and even u dnt know how to do sambar how to do household tasks
     
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  2. angeldreams

    angeldreams Gold IL'ite

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    Hi Pravi,

    Please don't say that you are going through this situation:hide:
     
  3. Rith

    Rith IL Hall of Fame

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    Is this for you alone or a collection of stuffs in your known circle. I accept it is difficult to tackle this. But more than 50% from the above list my close friend is going through in her daily life
     
  4. paramlav

    paramlav Silver IL'ite

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    :hatsoff are u saying somebody is undergoing all these ..by seeing all these what spineless dh is doing (sorry ).. If it was in my shoe i could have ran away can't exist more with those useless creatures...
     
  5. deeprapriya

    deeprapriya Gold IL'ite

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    My case is very similar to this, though I break many rules made by MIL...
     
  6. Cool10

    Cool10 Silver IL'ite

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    OMG. How can you bear all these rules :bowdown. My in-laws expect me to follow 4,5,6,9, 13, 14, 18. These I mostly follow to avoid big fight. Some others in your list were there in initial days of my marriage but I put my foot down and refused to follow.

    It must be very difficult for you to follow all of these. What your DH says about these ?
     
  7. shruthisp

    shruthisp Gold IL'ite

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    Most things on the list+financial+emotional abuse broke the marriage i know
     
  8. radv

    radv Gold IL'ite

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    Dear OP - I see u r not asking for adv/solution, but definitely tobe treated like animal shud not be accepted - sorry for being harsh but food kept on floor is not a way to serve to a human being. You can keep a tea pot in ur room, keep towel, etc in a plastic bag and take with u to bath. For how many years are u married, time to take a stand.
     
  9. coolangel

    coolangel Senior IL'ite

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    I was raised liberal at my parents home and if i encounter such rules by in laws may be i will do it for couple of days ..if i am living with them then i would raise my voice eventually and try stop it.
     
  10. gauridinesh

    gauridinesh Platinum IL'ite

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    Oh my god, this post freaked me out so much!! I thought my MIL was the only one in the world that followed all these! Let me tell you, my MIL follows ALL these that you have listed and I am surprised that there is someone else in the same shoes as mine!! I am so happy! Sorry - not that I am happy that you are distressed, I am just glad that there are other DILs who will understand what I am going through :)

    The one good thing is that your MIL Lets you have your coffee or breakfast without a bath, just that she wont touch you. Mine wont let you have anything unless you had ur bath . All the clothes thing - unwashed clothes untouchability syndrome - is my MILs speciality too. She is so keen on it that if we take anything that is kept on top of the washing machine - like a towel- or if we pass by the washing machine area and touch the unwashed clothes , we are supposed to take headbath!

    There is no solution to this unless you decide to break the rules. Its your house too, you should get to live it . If you get your periods, you dont have to announce it to her. Thats what I did. First time she came to know I had periods and was in the kitchen, she freaked out and made a huge drama. I just told my H that I feel ashamed that such personal things as my periods, that is only my business has to be made such an issue. My H didnt support me at all- but he didnt say anything too. MIL did the same drama two more times, saw that i was not changing and gave up.

    Any comment like "WHY did you touch that unwashed bedsheet?" is met with "Oh. I am sorry- we dont follow all this in my house.." and walk away. Next time, do the same thing. Till she gives up.
    Or give a blank stare to the wall and walk away and do exactly the same thing next time too.
     
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