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How Long To Worry?

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous in Parenting' started by Anusha2917, Jul 23, 2021.

  1. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 Finest Post Winner

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    Sharing this which I received in WA.

    How Long Do You Worry About Your Children?
    (A must Read & Share poem)

    Is there an imaginary cutoff period when
    Offspring become accountable
    For their own actions?

    Is there some wonderful moment when
    Parents can become detached spectators in
    The lives of their children and shrug,
    'It's Their life,' and feel nothing?

    When I was in my twenties,
    I stood in a hospital corridor
    Waiting for doctors to put a few stitches
    In my son's head and I asked,
    'When do you stop worrying?'
    The nurse said,
    'When they get out of the accident stage..'
    My Parents just smiled faintly
    And said nothing.

    When I was in my thirties,
    I sat on a little chair in a classroom
    And heard how one of my children
    Talked incessantly, disrupted the class,
    And was headed for a career
    Making license plates.
    As if to read my mind, a teacher said,
    'Don't worry, they all go through this stage
    And then you can sit back,
    Relax and enjoy them.'
    My Parents just smiled faintly
    And said nothing.

    When I was in my forties,
    I spent a lifetime waiting
    For the phone to ring,
    The cars to come home,
    The front door to open.

    A friend said,
    'They're trying to find themselves.
    'Don't worry!
    In a few years, they'll be adults.
    'They'll be off on their own
    They'll be out of your hair'
    My Parents just smiled faintly
    And said nothing.

    By the time I was 50,
    I was sick tired of being vulnerable.
    I was still worrying over my children,
    But there was a new wrinkle..
    Even though they were on their own
    I continued to anguish over their failures,
    Be tormented by their frustrations and
    Absorbed in their disappointments..
    And there was nothing I could do about it.
    My Parents just smiled faintly
    And said nothing.

    My friends said that
    When my kids got married
    I could stop worrying
    And lead my own life.
    I wanted to believe that,

    But I was haunted by my parent's warm smiles
    And their occasional,
    'You look pale. Are you all right' ?
    'Call me the minute you get home'.
    Are you depressed about something?'

    My friends said that
    When I became a grandparent
    That I would get to enjoy
    The happy little voices yelling
    Grandma! Papa!
    But now I find that I worry
    Just as much about the little kids
    As the big ones.
    How can anyone cope with all this Worry?

    Can it be that parents are sentenced
    To a lifetime of worry?
    Is concern for one another
    Handed down like a torch
    To blaze the trail of human frailties
    And the fears of the unknown?
    Is concern a curse or is it
    A virtue that elevates us
    To the highest form of earthly creation?

    Recently, one of my own children
    Became quite irritable, saying to me,
    'Where were you?
    I've been calling for 3 days,
    And no one answered
    I was worried.'
    I smiled a warm smile.
    The torch has been passed.

    (And also to your children...)

  2. joylokhi

    joylokhi Platinum IL'ite

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    Very true! Parents will always be parents , only the degree of worry/responsibilities may change. However as Im getting on in age- 67 now, I make a conscious decision to not get wholly involved into the micro managing of my childrens lives and their families. However, the worry part would always be there in the background at the slightest upheavals! The process is ongoing to get into more spirituality and to be there for people when needed.
    anika987, messedup and Anusha2917 like this.
  3. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    Worry by Habit
    Worry by time
    Worry at short notice
    Worry second nature in human
    Worry constantly worry part time
    Worry step by step
    Worry once for all
    Worry at selected hours
    Worry by alarm
    Worry by brooding
    Worry by musing
    Worry by weight
    Worry at leisure
    Worry by worried men & women
    But know
    Cause ULCER.
    joylokhi and Anusha2917 like this.

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