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How is your spouse's reaction when you admire someone of opposite gender??

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by kavya007, Apr 21, 2010.

  1. ShilpaMa

    ShilpaMa IL Hall of Fame

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    Re: Do you tell your spouse you are attracted to somebody?

    Hey guys thanks but yes this marriage is a constant struggle for me even for basic respect. Sorry for hijacking this thread but I guess I need to vent out before I spew some more venom on other threads :rotfl...

    My DH is like one of those ladies who're capable of forgetting their house or street in night/ darkness and am one of them whom even if you drop at remote village of velinkini will find way back home.
    Also if he takes a route for 3 days in a row he'll automatically turn the steering 4th day even if he knew he had to take a different route today.

    Same goes with his behaviour.. if he observes his parents abusing me 3 times in a row, he picks up their accent & changes for bad.
    The other day one of my wardrobe shelf gave way & fell on my hand and my DD was constantly getting into the way that she could have hurt herself.. so I raised my voice & told her to get aside.

    To this my DH commented "Barking started - Day n night".. I set it at a safe place & confronted him if this was the right way to talk & if thats what he's going to speak in front of kids. I've heard his parents speak the same for me but I never pulled it up into current discussion... he apologised but then it again leaves me battered cos this was not the disrespect I ever saw in any marriage. Hence I've to constantly fight for even basic respect in this marriage thanks to his parents & their abusive ways of dealing with each other's differences :bowdown.
     
  2. kma

    kma Gold IL'ite

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    Re: Do you tell your spouse you are attracted to somebody?

    I dont tell my DH because I know he does not like it and feels jealous. But still I think he can make it out from my behaviour. My DH always keeps a poker face so actually difficult for me sometimes to make out if he is attracted to somebody. I actually remember only once instance in 8 1/2 years when he admired somebody. Nice to see the thread.
     
  3. anukarsha

    anukarsha Gold IL'ite

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    Re: Do you tell your spouse you are attracted to somebody?

    Hi kaavya:) sweet post.I am married for 16 years now.We always share things.These teasings are part of a happy family i must say.He keeps quite busy,sometimes travels for almost 4 day's a week.I tell him to get me a good boy friend as he is well aware of my taste.I say i don't wanna go hunting again.Sometimes when we are out, if a see an attractive girl i tell him to warm his eyes with the stuff(typical boy's lingo you see).It's all part and parcel of our life.And yes regarding me,i keep reminding him that i have had 36 boy friends before he came in my life and he says you are still on 36,increase your count now.Cheers-anu:)
     
  4. TalktoPallu

    TalktoPallu New IL'ite

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    Re: Do you tell your spouse you are attracted to somebody?

    Hi all,

    nice to know that all of u too support ur DH's comments.
    My hubby does comment on beautiful girls seen around. I m cool, support his comments if she is really beautiful.
    Never felt J out of this topic.
    But when ever i comment abt guys, he prefers to stay silent, this makes me think tht he is feeling the factor J. :)
     
    Last edited: Apr 21, 2010
  5. shridevi

    shridevi New IL'ite

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    Re: Do you tell your spouse you are attracted to somebody?

    well this one is nice to share. laways happy going
    mine is really funny. I stay in Gulf country n there are many philipines and african ladies here.

    he always would see them when i go out with him and that too in my intial days of marriage. i just used to get irrited. then i started with a trick. I myself would ask him to see those ladies when i see them first and praise them the way he used to do.

    He would always get attracted to ladies with nice figure since i hv grown fat after marriage. Now i myself ask him to see beautiful figure ladies if i see them first and that has made him stop doing it. but not yet completely and i don;t want also.

    this teasing a part of couple life.

    But he get really annoyed wen someone stares at me.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 22, 2010
  6. vinaya1234

    vinaya1234 New IL'ite

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    How is your spouse's reaction when you admire someone of opposite sex??

    One thing I have observed is my dh gets possessive when any male (friend,colleague, neighbor,cousin or anyone) just tries to joke with me, or makes me laugh or even if I appreciate him.
    Even if I simply admire that person due to some positive quality, immediately dh tries to find some fault with that person.

    I being outspoken, expressed this to him, he immediately says, I just told what I felt like and it may not be what you want to hear.......[​IMG]

    My dh behaves like such a KIDDO........sometimes........it is funny!!! Dh needs so much attention. Before marriage, he used to get upset even if I praise some other guy and I would do that often just to get him annoyed. Even now, I sometimes do out of fun but these days he is getting immune to it. I know women are like this but in our case it is opposite.

    How is your spouse's reaction when you admire someone of opposite sex??
     
  7. telugubidda0078

    telugubidda0078 New IL'ite

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    ha ha haa
    leave alone admiring,
    if he sees u looked at someone,u r gone
     
  8. mstrue

    mstrue New IL'ite

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    My DH never 'accepts' he is possessive. And he is not too controlling at the same time. But there will be some sort of jealousy in disguise, he will disapprove the other person (be it a celebrity or a somebody) for some frivolous reason. But it will be very subtle that only I can sense (I doubt even if DH knows that himself!).

    For instance, I like Neeya Naana Gopinath, and he used to like him till I was too much praise for Gopinath. Then suddenly DH 'realised' that Gopinath is not anchoring well. [​IMG]
    And there goes the pattern.. "DH likes someone - DW praises - DH doesn't like him anymore. "

    It makes me smile and feel happy about his 'ownership' on me. [​IMG] I know.. I know.. I am not a commodity nor does he treat me like that. But that possessiveness within limits is a beauty in itself.

    I feel slightly jealous when he talks about heroines.. But to my luck if DH is after a heroine, she will go to Bollywood or get married! :biglaugh (Asin, Bavana, and some more..) And I will be way too happy!! Nowadays DH is refusing to give out his favorite heroine names for the same reason.[​IMG]
    :help DH turned smart! :drowning
     
    Last edited: May 4, 2010
  9. vinaya1234

    vinaya1234 New IL'ite

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    Speaking of heroines, my dh has his own line of favorites and my misfortune I cannot even act like I am jealous....becos they are not just worth my envy....:tongue

    I sometimes try to make it a big deal when he admires some woman but again I stink at acting....cannot even do that properly....:bonk

    My dh really needs lot of pampering from me and I try to ignore him just to annoy him and get his attention......hey! I know how to win him back or what???.........:banana
     
    Last edited: May 4, 2010
  10. Spiderman1

    Spiderman1 Gold IL'ite

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    If only folks will get jealous of my avatars :coffee
    Ok, thats for another thread in a banished subforum :)
     

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