How Do You Tolerate People You Are Not Comfortable With?

anika987 · Jan 31, 2022

I moved away from my relatives quite sometime back coz of the way they treated me.It took almost a decade and more to realize and accept that they were bullying me and treating me with disrespect.Anytime I stand up for myself..three things will be told:

1) You are too sensitive
2) Can’t you take a joke
3) Grow up!

They also gang up,laugh and make fun of me about everything.
I tried to get myself comfortable around them and was thinking maybe am the one who is wrong but thanks to support system I was able to understand they were in the wrong.

The impact still lingers but it was best I moved away.

I have a question to ask coz am curious..

How do you handle the office politics? There must be bullies and extremely mean people,Some taking credit for your work..How do you move past this?
Won’t it affect your health?

It’s family to friends..you can maintain a distance but in office you have to tolerate.
How do you suck it up and do it?
Not everyone has a good atmosphere..My friend is suffering from migraines and BP due to office stress right now.

So it inspired me to start the thread..

I myself had worst experience in an office setting years back and was lucky to have a wonderful experience in the last one.

Though attitude is own thing..it is tough not to get irritated.How do you separate office stress and home stress? Where do you find that mental strength?

Thoughtful · Jan 31, 2022

One advantage with respect to office is that if the stress gets too much, we can move to another job. Its not the case with relatives whom you are more or less stuck with for life.

Sometimes it also happens that there are lack of job opportunities and you are not able to move jobs. Hence it becomes important to live in a city where there are more job opportunities and we always keep abreast with where we are with respect to the job market.

One other thing is, if there is a group who are stressing us out, it is likely they are also stressing someone else out. Finding that companion eases the pain where you don't think you are the only one getting targeted.

Sometimes, it also speaks about some weakness in us. Trying to remediate also is important. ( I know, easier said than done ).

Good luck!!

Caide · Jan 31, 2022

@anika987 first I felt very bad about how stupid, self cautious and selfish ,my colleagues were but on my 4 years ride I got used to it to a point that even if a new person joins, i don't keep high hopes because I know they will somehow get mingled and get same mind set as others.

And I have worked in branch and department of same office so as I worked in branch, it was easy for me at department with more politics than branch.

I have hardly shown my anger in office and as I have i already mentioned I am very talkative person, it kind of helped me . Someway or other someone was near me to talk me out of it.

And I sternly had mind set why to lower my head infront of them, let's learn and get knowledge to a point that they should depend on me not the other way around.

I learnt quick and was running like something in those days. Was quick to get certificate, get promotion so that if someone opens their mouth i should have apt answer to close and proof them it's wrong.

And I share my office stress with my father or dh . So that it is taken of my mind. And had another rule, forget abt family once you enter office and forget abt office once you enter home.

I was never close with my relatives , we were too far by location. So escaped. I ignored inlaws relatives comments. First of all I dint understand plus dint notice their comments. But mil totally gave them left and right, now they don't make comment infront of us atleast.

So office 2 rules

1. Learn don't let them ruin

2. Work is work , home is home

Family,

1. Pls maintain social distance if they are too venomous

I prefer venomous to cunning for some and i totally ignore them, in office i talk with them professionally whereas at home if they enter, i go to my room