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How do you reinforce good behavior?

Discussion in 'Infants' started by Riyasmommy, Sep 5, 2008.

  1. Aadhusmom

    Aadhusmom Gold IL'ite

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    :rotflThat was one smart question!

    V.
     
  2. shvap_786

    shvap_786 Gold IL'ite

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    Good point kavya... even i have observed these things with my DD.... sometimes if my Dh scolds.. she comes near me for sympathy as mom cant accept certain things... so sometimes i tried to take hug her immed... but slowly i stopped that habit and dont interfer when DH scolds... so now she started understanding...
     
  3. Riyasmommy

    Riyasmommy Silver IL'ite

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    As a parent I realize now that this is exactly what my parents did. My mom and dad were very consistent about their disciplining strategies. We never felt that we could take advantage of one over the other. Raj
     
  4. Traveller

    Traveller Gold IL'ite

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    That's a vital point, Kavya. My dad was the strict type. But my mom wasn't. She would console us if dad scolded us for something very genuine. Looking back I think that wasn't a good strategy. Ofcourse neither me nor my brother are 'bad' children now but i can very well remember the tantrum horrors of my brother:hide:.
    It was the same case at my DH's place as well. So now as parents we are very clear on this discipling thing. These days my boy tries his trick by saying 'appa said this' to me and vice-versa to his dad. But he knows very well by know that he can't fool us.

    Latha
     
  5. cheer

    cheer Silver IL'ite

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    Great discussion going on. I have experienced too, mine hubby is very soft to aanya. 2 days back I was changing her diaper & she was rolling here & there, I got mad & yelled at her. But mine hubby got angered, he starts shouting at me & took her from me. He took her for a long walk & as a result she refused to come to me. All weekend she wants to be with mine hubby.


    What should I do?

     
  6. kavya007

    kavya007 Gold IL'ite

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    :rotfl:rotflThese kids are sooo smart. Look at how a 3 year old plays politics !!!!!

    Kavya.
     
  7. sanravi_1970

    sanravi_1970 Gold IL'ite

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    Dont worry cheer, but dont yell at babies, wats the use of shouting, they dont understand at this age i believe, even i was shouting sometimes, but then i will realise that he cant understand that i m shouting at him for what he s doing! So be calm! :)
     
  8. Traveller

    Traveller Gold IL'ite

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    Cheer,

    I have been there too. With first baby most moms don't know I think, that's the problem. Now i think back and feel so bad. May be your hubby was just upset and showed it this way. And also about your girl wanting to be with her dad on weekends.. this is not because she likes you less. My son is also like that. He does not get to see his dad often on weekdays. So on week-ends he wouldn't even let me and DH talk with each other. Just let them be and think of this as a good chance to do your stuff. I do that without guilt so that i'm refreshed to handle the coming week.

    take care.. Latha
     
  9. Ramya Satheesh

    Ramya Satheesh Senior IL'ite

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    It is a very useful topic indeed! thanks Raj for bringing it up. Very informative. I have lots to learn. BTW how do i make Akshith play with his toys? strange question isn't? he seems to be more interested in exploring the house rather than sit and play with his toys. He enjoys playing with the utensils and pulling out the stuff from the Wardrobes. I do take him out everyday. There also he does not play with the toys. But wants to sit on the cycles of older children and of course crawl on the pavements . Any suggestions?

    Ramya
     
  10. booboo

    booboo Senior IL'ite

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    Nice thread! Let me share my experience. One day my LO(she was 15 months then) broke the show peice(she just threw it purposely-she was not angry or anything, did it just like that). I just told her not to do it. When DH came home i complained it to him, she felt very bad about it. My DH noticed it and told me later she felt bad and I did a mistake, next time if she does something he asked me to tell she herself should tell appa with apologies. i practised that and last week she broke a plate and came to me and told she broke it and joined hands together and told sorry. I was amazed. And now for any mistake she does she says sorry immediately.It was a nice point by DH and we both don't complain to each other(except some funny things though.......)
     

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