How do you make your kids listen to you?

Hi Teju n' I'lites,

It's very nice topic..Our 3.5 yr son always like to be big n' he think he can do all the things what we all do..We always give an example to him.Like ..if, U wanna be big then U hav to this..then u will get practise & U will be able to do all...here all means..he likes to press buttons in Lift...Likes to do vaccum...wanna go to school alone...big Fantasy!!

Plz share ur idea also.
Thanks.
Ruhi.

 

Hi Teju
No one has yet come up with a foolproof method of making children listen!
If you have more than one child you will realize that if you have by chance mastered the art of making the first one listen, then it doesn't work one bit with the second!!!

I would seriously dissuade you from using bribing as a method for the simple reason that you will end up raising the bribes as the child grows - a sightly older child will not find the bribes offered to a smaller child attractive and you will then have to use something bigger and so on. How long do you think you will have the capacity to raise the stake?

Plus it will teach them that all they need to do is disobey often enough to defeat you into offering bribes. For all you know this habit might continue into adulthood and give rise to unhealthy ethics.

Gloom and doom aside, Children are meant to test parents in this way - so take it with humour - enjoy their efforts to defeat you - and stay one step ahead by not giving in to their manipulations!!!!!!!!

 

Hi all,
Just today i saw this thread. It's really nice (useful)

 

For my 1 yr DD, i would distract her showing crows,cows,dogs and if i found nothing i would show some person and tell thatha(grandfather) is coming.If its a lady ammama(grandmother) is coming like that.

At timesi give her some kitchen utensils(ofcourse will be cautious),TV remotes without batteries(she can get batteries out),bangles
As of now this is fine.Dont know how can i manage if she gets bored of all these.

 

I was scratching my head on how to make my DS listen to me. Luckily I came across this thread. Everybody's inputs are very useful.

 

Hi Teju,
A nice thread you have started. I have read all the replies to the thread you have started and have learned some ideas to tackle my kids. How to make kids listen to you? It is a difficult task. Parents have to keep trying new things, experimenting, if it does not work then come up with new ideas. Also this could be possible that what became a success, does not remain a successful idea in future. So keep experimenting.......

I am a mother of two kids. My elder one is just one and half years elder than his sister. As not much difference between the two, I was going through a hard time since two years. But now since my son is 3.5 years old, he has become a bit mature. So a small relief. But I am facing a similar type of problem still. Both of them don't listen and what is asked not to do, will definitely be done by them. Over a time I have learned something in kids behavior. Children don't like any instruction given to them in the form of an order. Many times we are so much occupied with other work that when we see our kids not following us, we hurriedly place our words as an order.

Children love parents who spend quality time with them, laugh with them, talk to them, listen to them, arrange new exciting things around them. To win kids, we have to become hero in their eyes and also that they are heroes in our eyes. I am also working on it. Once we win their confidence, chances are that they will listen to us. My son when does not listen to me, I stop talking to him and give him a look that he has not behaved correctly. He is no longer a good child in mamma's eye. He then becomes uneasy, follow my instructions and ask "will you now talk to me ". Apply this Teju, it will work many times.

 

I think today parents are in a catch 22 situation where getting the right approach to make our kids listen to us has become next to impossible.This was there in our generation too but we never questioned them.
But all is not lost. I think children of today are born smart,become smarter because every info is available at their fingertips and so question us parents on a lot of things we ourselves may not know and are flummoxed as to how to answer them.
My suggestion would be if we have to make our kids listen to us then there has to be :
Clear communication and proper listening. Instead of ordering a child to do something ,we can say it in a different way.for ex: if the mother orders her child to put in an extra hour in their studies instead of saying"Go and study for an hour more" one can say" Don't you think you need to put a little bit more in this subject? I am sure you can score much better.Try it out". This kind of communication is more assertive and logical and not aggressive. A little cajoling,a little pleading,some extra love ofcourse kids will listen.
Second it is very important we listen to them,talk to them as friends and see how much we can help them solve their problems.Also give them some space.Don't crowd them,nag them. By listening and understand their thoughts we are earning their trust. When a kid sees his parents accepts his parents as a friend,I am sure they will listen to us,at least understand our point of view.

 

So this thread deserves a place among the other sticky threads...
Keep those tips coming in ILites