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How Do You Help Your Kid To Talk In Ur Mother/native Language .. Any Suggestions Pls..

Discussion in 'Schoolgoers & Teens' started by gknew, Aug 22, 2017.

  1. gknew

    gknew Gold IL'ite

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    Hi all,
    My son is gonna be 4yrs old. He had a speech delay earlier and he catches up with words in English. He is going to preschool now and improving a lot to communicate his needs in English. My mother lang is Tamil. He is not talking in Tamil,though we talk to him everyday in Tamil. He understands all the commands and will reply back in English. I am trying very hard to bring some interest to learn Tamil.
    I am so depressed and family (both parents and ILs) keep insulting and stressing us that he s not talking in Tamil. They expecting him to narrate and being talkative.. He is not like that..just say few words during the conversation..me and my dh are OK with his communication and we r not forcing him at all. I don't know how to convince or make the family understand.
    Anyone have any such experience.. Pls share ur suggestions..
    Thanks.
     
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  2. ashneys

    ashneys Platinum IL'ite

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    I am infact in a very similar situation. Don't stress your child too much just for the family, it won't do good for anyone.

    Once he starts schooling, he will pick up a lot more. You keep talking to him in Tamil and encourage him to answer back in it too. Even when he answers in English, make him repeat in tamil.

    If your child is naturally not talkative, don't force to change. As in, he's very young. My 8 year old talks nonstop now when he could barely get a sentence out at 3-4. It's a phase, it keeps changing.

    To the parents n in laws, say it's your grandson, you teach him too. Don't get stressed n stress your child too.

    Practise makes it perfect. Jus keep doing that.
     
  3. gknew

    gknew Gold IL'ite

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    Thanks a lot for the reply ashneys..
    Yes..u r right.. Its a phase keep changing... Thanks for ur words...
    He is just in the phase where he is trying to frame a sentence..he s still struggle a little to frame a sentence in English. So, we don't want to force him now for native lang.. Will keep practising..
     
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  4. DDream

    DDream Platinum IL'ite

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    gknew, nothing to worry. Is he going to pre school or daycare. Encourage him to interact with other kids, especially older ones.

    My son was also like that. He started talking well only after 4yrs. Now, he talks non-stop, only if he wants to talk. I have also noticed that he started picking up other languages also. I live in US, so my ds is not much exposed to mother tongue even though we use that language at home. They understand it and respond in English. When we go to India, we request everyone to talk to them in mother tongue, but everyone start talking to him English:grinning: instead.

    If your ILS complain, tell them that you will send him to their home for one month vacations so that they can teach him the language. I am sure after one month they will all talk in English :). Explanations wont help.

    I have seen cases where kids pick the language when they are in India. But once they go back to US, they forgot it slowly. So my philosophy is..if they need, they will learn it.. We only can encourage them to talk, but we cant force them.May be rewarding them for talking or replying in mother tongue may help. A lot practice is needed.

    One of my friends kids were really good in native language before they start school. But now they all talk only in English. In this case, a kind of forcing may be required if want them to use our language in home as they know the language. So lot of patience and effort is needed if we really want our kids to speak in native language in another country.
     
    Last edited: Aug 22, 2017
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  5. Sandycandy

    Sandycandy IL Hall of Fame

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    Speech therapy helps tremendously with speech delays. So you can try that if you haven't given it a shot . You are the parent , so put your foot down and tell your parents and IL's that son talking in Tamil is not important for you at this point.
     
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  6. gknew

    gknew Gold IL'ite

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    Thanks a lot for ur reply @DDream..
    Yes..he goes to preschool and loves to play with other kids..that's the main reason for his improvement in communication.. He learn english words from them..
    Sending to India for vacation is a good idea..but i am very sure,things will turn up as u said.. They will learn English:)
    I just started teaching him alphabets, colors and other basic things in Tamil. Will slowly teach him the conversation too..
    Yessss,needs a lot of patience and effort...i will keep trying that..
     
  7. gknew

    gknew Gold IL'ite

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    Yes..he goes for a speech therapy once a week.. He just started with that and have to wait n see how it goes..
     
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  8. Nonya

    Nonya Platinum IL'ite

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    There must be a smartphone app for real time translation of preschooler talk to grandparents and IL's. That is the ticket!
     
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  9. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    There is completely 2 different issues here.

    1) Your son's speech delay.
    Because of this, he is finding some difficulties to narrate and articulate in detail.
    Since he is exposed to English (in an English speaking envn) he manages somewhat in English.
    He goes to speech therapy, and he is improving.
    As others have rightly said, it is a phase, and many kids are speech delayed now a days for whatever the reasons. But they will be all-right very soon.

    2) Not speaking in Tamil
    Looks like your folks are unaware of your son's speech delay or the therapy matters.
    If a kid is having speech problems, it is best to train him/her in one language until he meets certain milestones in that.
    Kids are fast learners, and your kid will learn Tamil in no time once his speech issue is addressed.
    Some parents in foreign land do not teach their mother tongue purposely. They are ashamed of their mother tongue, and they think it is a pride to communicate in English, as if it is the yardstick to measure your wealth and intelligence.
    Many people are tired of such craps; hence this misunderstanding, I guess.
    Since you live in the US, and your son's inability to communicate in Tamil perhaps made this misunderstanding; hence your PILs and parents are scolding you.

    If it is not the case, it is inhuman to scold a little child for not being able to speak (in Tamil or any language).
    Would they scold the mom of a mute kid then?
     
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  10. gknew

    gknew Gold IL'ite

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    Thanks for ur reply @SGBV..
    Really impressed by ur explanation...yes, u are right.. My folks are not aware of my kid's speech delay and therapy.. Me and dh decided not to tell them. Bcos,they won't understand and not exposed to it. They will criticise my kid in one or other way..they usually compare my kid with other kids of same age..it happens every time when we speak over phone..we just reply back as each kid is different...so, we didn't tell anyone abt his speech delay..
    As u said, we concentrating on one lang as of now(English)..till he improves in his communication skills..just started teaching him Tamil alphabets,birds,colors etc..he show some interest to learn it..will keep trying... Don't wanna force..as everyone said, hoping he will improve and talk soon...i will be patient and put some more efforts..
     

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