1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Would you like to join the IL team? See open jobs!
    Dismiss Notice
  3. What can you teach someone online? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice
  4. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

How Do You Handle This?in Laws Give Unhealthy Food To Baby When I Am Not In House

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by mirrorimage, Feb 15, 2018.

  1. mirrorimage

    mirrorimage Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    106
    Likes Received:
    79
    Trophy Points:
    68
    Gender:
    Female
    I try to adjust and live ,everyday is fight for peace and your integrity.There was a snack(some rusk like buiscuit) which my father in law brought and the label read some stuff with i felt is very unhealthy,so I told my MIL plz dont give it to my son(who is a toddler).
    And they give it when I am not at home for him to eat.
    One day when I went home early,I was shocked to see that snack in my childs hands..
    my heart broke because I want him to eat healthy at this age atleast while at home,god knows what will happen when they growup and what all they will end up eating copying friends.
    inspite of me telling dont give that to the baby,they just dont listen.
    Our fridge is loaded with fruits which they can give...or anything healthy..even milk if he is hungry..inspite of all this....
    I dont know what..are they lazy to cook anything ???is it out of lazyness to wash anyfruits that they do that????
    come on...i have compromised so much bearing all ur torture all I ask is give some healthy snack to my son,they fail me in that.I would not have got to know if I hadnt been early to home that day...I dint know..
    anything we tell..we seem/appear rude....even if it is for good....There I stand Not to appear rude yet heart broken and god knows what all they do when I am not around to my son...I just dont want him to get addicted to unhealthy snacks at this age and end up not eating real food.....
    God knows..God save the world of women..!!!
     
    Loading...

  2. Sangeeta85

    Sangeeta85 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    584
    Likes Received:
    367
    Trophy Points:
    138
    Gender:
    Female
    Just tell her to give the fruits and then give him biscuits and ask her later did she give.. if she gives crappy replies say her no to those too ... are u staying with them?
     
  3. GoneGirl

    GoneGirl Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    409
    Likes Received:
    555
    Trophy Points:
    173
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi OP,

    I know it’s frustrating.. but here are my thoughts on this..
    Who buys that snack, better not buy it instead of telling them not to give it.. have only healthy snacks at home.
    People of the older generation love to pamper their grandchildren and one way they think they can show love is giving them stuff that they love to eat! We all gew up eating biscuits, and turned out fine, so they think it’s no big deal..

    Asking your husband to explain it to his parents may be better than you trying to tell them again.. it may hurt them, especially if they are helping you out by looking after your kid when you are working..
     
    sindmani likes this.
  4. MonikaSG

    MonikaSG Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    664
    Likes Received:
    1,006
    Trophy Points:
    263
    Gender:
    Female
    Oldies are like that only. You can not do much about it as you are working. For these snacks either don't let it enter the house or take that with you and tell them you will take that at break time in the office and throw it somewhere.
     
  5. radv

    radv Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    453
    Likes Received:
    523
    Trophy Points:
    175
    Gender:
    Female
    OP maybe your child asked for it. You can wash fruits and keep in fridge for them to just give to your child.
     
    sindmani and Sandycandy like this.
  6. Vandhuamma

    Vandhuamma Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    129
    Likes Received:
    208
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Female
    It is sometimes frustrating and practically you can do something about it. You have to mention firmly and politely to your MIL not to give such snacks and to please make it a habit to make him eat one fruit a day. You can causally mention about Doctors advising the importance of toddlers having fruits and milk every day.

    What I do is I mention causally about the parliament happenings wherein they are planning to bring some control over the advertisements of unhealthy products during cartoons. Then I go on to say my strong opinion on its importance and mention how fruits are not being encouraged by parents at small age. This way my MIL gets my idea and I can see apple skin near the kitchen platform as a confirmation that they are doing their level best.

    We need to cook and feed and take control over kid’s food like making a time table and ensuring weekly shopping of fruits based on the chart. Such activities will make the other members of the house pitch in
     
  7. GeetaKashyap

    GeetaKashyap IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    3,921
    Likes Received:
    9,171
    Trophy Points:
    460
    Gender:
    Female
    OP,

    I do understand your frustration but...if you are staying with in-laws and they take care of the child in your absence please stop treating them as illiterate servants. Taking care of a toddler is a backbreaking job; one cannot be careful enough. In all their innocence toddlers can give a very tough time to caretakers. Learn to trust your p-i-l's wisdom. Do you speak about your parents in the same tone? What I am writing may not make you happy but introspect. You are boiling and burning within treating in-laws as glorified servants and pests.

    When they are taking care of their grandchild, trust me they too will have its best interest in mind and will not harm the child consciously. Give them some credit for their work, trust their wisdom, acknowledge their contribution and then you will see them also compromising more easily and opening up to your suggestions. As someone suggested if any harmful or unhealthy snack is there, gently explain them using medical advice as a crutch. Be more proactive in providing alternate snacks at home. I thought your accusation that they could be lazy, preposterous! Please understand that with age sometimes what may seems like a cakewalk to you may be a big task for them. That is age and not laziness. No servant can or will take care of the child better.

    I know a family where the son and the daughter-in-law are doctors. When they left their kids with grand parents, they were given full freedom to treat even minor ailments with traditional home remedies. That is the kind of love, respect and trust one has to give to the older generation. When specifically something is unsuitable, create an alternate in a loving way. Mistrust will not grow healthy relationships.

    You are free to agree or disagree.
     
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2018
  8. MonikaSG

    MonikaSG Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    664
    Likes Received:
    1,006
    Trophy Points:
    263
    Gender:
    Female
    :worship2::worship2:
     
    Sandycandy likes this.
  9. fourthaugust

    fourthaugust Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    305
    Likes Received:
    380
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    Seriously op
    I too give my toddler a rusk pr a biscuit here and there. Its not because he is hungry.
    Its because sometimes kids do want to play with their food. My toddler or any toddler doesn't eat that entire rusk. Only tiny couple of bytes the take. Rest goes into dustbin.
    Its really not an issue op. Earlier kids used to munch on roties etc while their mother is busy working. Now a days we have become very much conscious about what our Ki puts into his mouth. Its not needed really.
    Also its important for kids to learn to feed themselves. So let him.
    You may be having issues with your PIL but this is no issue.
     
    GeetaKashyap and Sandycandy like this.
  10. DXBDesi

    DXBDesi Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    74
    Likes Received:
    71
    Trophy Points:
    58
    Gender:
    Male
    Unfortunately I have to agree with the 2 posters before me. Grandparents wont give anything harmful intentionally, when my child was a toddler refusing to eat anything solid, having her eat even half a rusk seemed like I had won the world ....

    Any reason why that particular biscuit is harmful?
     
    Sunburst, GeetaKashyap and Sandycandy like this.

Share This Page