1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Would you like to join the IL team? See open jobs!
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Liked anything that you read here? You may nominate it as the Finest Posts!
    Dismiss Notice
  4. What can you teach someone online? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice
  5. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

How do you handle MIL?

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by rpriya, Apr 8, 2010.

  1. rpriya

    rpriya Guest

    Why don't we share our ideas on handling our ILs especially MIL?

    Here is mine

    My MIL is a good person. But she speaks speaks speaks all useless things.
    Most of her topics would be about relatives, neighbours, house owners. She wants me to listen and also speak about these stuffs that are no were required for me. I will not pay attention to her as I was already tired coming from Office or I will be into some work. Also I am not used to these things in my Home. My Mom won't speak unwanted things or even if she speak I will ask her to stop it. But I can't do it to my MIL right.

    Because of that I had got a bad name :hide: in my IL family. My SIL has complainted :bonk to my DH saying I dont speak or listem to her mom properly. This was affecting my relation with DH.

    After so much of fighting with my DH, we had :idea. Next time when my MIL started telling "Your Owner has got this land from his FIL". "Owner's Son is in love with a lady" "My sisters BIL has started his career as salesman. Then he started a business got lost ... blah blah". I will immediately say "Oh this one you have already told" . "Yeah I know it" based on the topic.
    This has got good result. But I know I cannot go on with this for more time. Need to find some new ideas.
     
    Loading...

  2. Priya_Mommy

    Priya_Mommy Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    3,087
    Likes Received:
    91
    Trophy Points:
    128
    Gender:
    Female
    Priya!!
    Ignorance is a bliss!!
    To deal with Gossiping MIL you need to have a deaf ear!!! These Gossips are just for fun, give a deaf ear!!
    Just listen and leave them, dont look for accountability.
     
  3. shrutidunwoody

    shrutidunwoody Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    374
    Likes Received:
    42
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Gender:
    Female
    Priya

    In your case atleast your mil speaks , but in my case my mil never talks to me properly. We only talk to the point.


    Anyways when your mil talks , you also talk about your office so that she also gets bored. This is a good technique. When she bores you, you also bore her. So if your mil says blah blah to you, you also blah blah.
     
  4. ars

    ars Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,599
    Likes Received:
    747
    Trophy Points:
    208
    Gender:
    Female
    Shruthi,
    good one. You got me laughing.
     
  5. kinjal

    kinjal Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    393
    Likes Received:
    27
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Gender:
    Female
    good one shruti :)
     
  6. rpriya

    rpriya Guest

    Thanks Sruthi and Priya Mommy. But problem is she never gets bored. When I say about my office matter, she keeps on asking so many silly questions. By now she has got all details of my neighbours. I have no idea how she remembers all these information:spin.

    Also she has come froma remote place in Villupuram TN. Its usual for her to sit outside the house and speak to street people for hours.

    Once she was telling about a small girl my next door that she use to take away small things from other houses. My FIL got iretated and he scolded not to speak unnecessary things.

    Some times they make me feel like am not a good DIL. My SIL stopped speaking to me.
     
  7. Priya_Mommy

    Priya_Mommy Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    3,087
    Likes Received:
    91
    Trophy Points:
    128
    Gender:
    Female
    Priya,
    Probably you can engage her in some sort of work. Apart from household, ask her to join in any social organization or any Arts classes,Yoga or meditation to improve her health. This will reduce her anxiety to know about other's issues.
     
  8. sansmomy

    sansmomy Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    124
    Likes Received:
    44
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Gender:
    Female
    You have two options:

    1. "If you cant beat them, join them" :)
    2. Develop a deaf ear for certain topics (in this case the useless topics initiated by you MIL). Like we close our eyes and prevent ourselves from seeing unwanted things, ears can be shut too (though others think that we are listening).

    ~S.
     
  9. SoundVijay

    SoundVijay Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    389
    Likes Received:
    359
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    Hai Priya,

    My mil is exactly like yours. I'm a house wife and 14 weeks pregnant. Doctor has advised me to stay at home to take care of my health. I face a similar issues 24/7. She talks about neighbors, her relatives and what not:eek:mg:. I ignore her blah blah. You keep concentrating on your work and once you start concentrating, you will not be in a position to listen to her blah blah. Start listening to pleasant music or recite some slokas before she starts with her stuff.

    Regards,

    Sound.
     
  10. shrutidunwoody

    shrutidunwoody Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    374
    Likes Received:
    42
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Gender:
    Female
    In that case dont get upset. As i said your mil atleast talks and so the atmosphere does not look tensed. You just listen to music, watch tv or be busy in cooking. Some mil 's does not even like the sight of dil 's and talk only to their son 's . You are working so for the entire day you are busy. So dont worry.
     

Share This Page