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How Do You Face Criticism Of Being Called Unlucky

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by mangaii, Jan 20, 2022.

  1. Minion

    Minion Platinum IL'ite

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    ONG are you for real her son cleaned up your bank account without informing you and you have given all your jewelry to her ? Next time when you go to India make sure you get it, if she refuses tell her DH that you will file a police complaint.

    If she has told me how she felt about me few years back I would havemaintained distance

    Why would she do that she waited till she could extract the maximum amount from you and now when you are resisting she I’ll do anything to get what she wants.
     
    chanchitra likes this.
  2. 1Sandhya

    1Sandhya Finest Post Winner

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    @mangaii
    Sorry to hear this. Interactions with husband’s family members is always tricky. Don’t beat yourself up over why you didn’t see her true colors sooner! Whether we do or not, these relationships are primarily controlled by spouse so we really don’t have much of a say.

    You have a daughter right? Can’t you tell h and therefore SIL that she’s asking about the jewels and wants them, (just make up something like now she’s grown up, attending all the functions and wants to wear, or is curious about what jewels are there, wants to try blah blah.) Also mention what’s the point of keeping it all in India when you visit so rarely. Pandemic other issues, you want to bring all the jewels back and keep in a locker here. Surely husband and aunty can’t deny niece’s request in the same way they can yours?
     
  3. mangaii

    mangaii Platinum IL'ite

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    I have reasoned it out in every way. I was even ready to travel on my own to get it back but she refuses to part with it.
    My husband has upper respiratory illness so we wanted to make sure it was safe for him to travel to negotiate with her. She is also holding some of our documents which are more valuable than jewels. Legal won't make much difference since there is no valid evidence.

    As I said before since things happened between four walls when I gave the jewels and technically my name isn't there in locker, I'm at her mercy to get things. For every request of mine, she will keep an answer ready which will basically come back to a point that I'm not lucky and we are in this situation because of me. Like everything she will circumvent to me. You cannot even reason out with her. She has no consequence of any action.

    I'm slowly and steadily undoing the damage she did to me. It is just at times I need to be patient and not fall back to old pattern of finding fault in myself.
     
  4. mangaii

    mangaii Platinum IL'ite

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    This sums up her character. Even if I file police complaint if she doesn't accept it we cannot do much. Technically she can clean out the locker with just one jewel and still walk away saying that is all I gave. There is no way I can prove what I gave to her. She definitely has upper hand in this situation and she has bigger aim than jewels. She is using jewel as a pawn to get what she wants.
     
  5. Minion

    Minion Platinum IL'ite

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    I still can not understand how an educated person like you will handover all your wealth to your SIL, thinking that she will take care.
     
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  6. mangaii

    mangaii Platinum IL'ite

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    I don’t know what I was smoking
     
  7. Laks09

    Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    @mangaii - You are not at fault for trusting someone. All of us have learned hard lessons. Some very costly ones. Chalk it up to a life lesson and try to hold on. Hopefully your DH will be able to retrieve your jewelry.

    You know there is no ill luck involved here. It’s just another form of manipulation. Now that the flow of money is ebbing, she’s punishing the person who she thinks is responsible for it with her words. Don’t let her words impact you. If you go into negative self talk, replace that with positive things for yourself. Trusting someone isn’t a weakness. It shows you cared enough. Tell yourself that.

    Your DH is on your side and that is probably triggering some of the verbal assaults too. Think of it as her jealousy and inability to control her brother. This may help you with your own self esteem.

    Good luck!
     
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  8. Minion

    Minion Platinum IL'ite

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    Yes you can prove it, you have your wedding pictures right, use that as an evidence, start with your DH tell him that it’s his responsibility to send a message to his sister, make it clear that you will take legal action (even if you don’t, do it) against your SIL, that should send her a message that you will not keep quiet anymore and her tricks will not work with you anymore. Don’t you have siblings or close relatives? Take help from them and there is no use to save a relationship like this, just get your stuff from her and then think about having a relationship with her.
     
    Last edited: Feb 8, 2022
    MalStrom and chanchitra like this.
  9. Minion

    Minion Platinum IL'ite

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    On a lighter note I am reminded of the Tamil comedy by vadivelu


    Evlo adichalum thaanguran ivan romba nallavan
     
  10. chanchitra

    chanchitra Platinum IL'ite

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    If its land documents, i believe you will be able to get copies from the registrar office.
     

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