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How Do You Deal With A Dramatic Too Sensitive Sil?

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Rise, Jan 7, 2017.

  1. friendabc

    friendabc Silver IL'ite

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    MADAM ...u r being very rude ...nobody is forcing u to answer ......as i have asked u earlier to READ THE FULL COMMENT before replying HASTILY ...but u have a habit of jumping to conclusion .I SAID .............. i did not want my father's money as long as he dsnt become impartial or favors one over another ...
    please be courteous, as i m with u .... while replying ..otherwise LEAVE IT ..
    if u r angry cuz u hate ur nanad(sister in law) then pls dont vent ur anger on me ,,,in my case i m the victim if u cant be impartial then pls ignore my posts ..stop replying . thanks
     
  2. YoGirl

    YoGirl Gold IL'ite

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    Honestly, caring doesnt matter in this generation. Smartness counts in such cases. Glad that you are taking care of them. Is this flat the only property that they have? Wat abt jewellery/lands/PF/FD etc? Are you fighting for those too?
    If not, i think you are holding grudge and seeking revenge for something by just talking abt flat..and plz dont blame the poor sil. Her H must have assured something. I would behave the same in such situation.Your bro and dad are equally responsible for ur situation.

    I wouldnt have given up Rs.1, leave alone 45 lakh. I studied equal to brothers, didnt give dowry, support my parents financially,emotionally and physically. But my parents understand that and promised equal share. We didnt reach the stage of sharing process cuz i count inheritance as blessing when it comes. My job already provided me with more money than inheritance money.
     
  3. DDream

    DDream Finest Post Winner

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    :grinning: oh my GOD ..cool down

    My comments are based on your post and the facts only dear. My In laws/sils have nothing to do with it. Luckily they all are good:grinning:. I didnt mean to hurt in any way. I told you the reality. If that hurts you I cannot do any thing.. Sorry.

    You dint say whether you or any sibling already received any share from parents. If you and other siblings didnt receive even Rs 1 (as jewelry/gift/money property etc), you have every reason to feel this way. Else..?

    May be you are not able to accept that your brother is getting it.. or not ready to wait for your parents will.

    I feel your statements contradictory. You said you dont want money .. but you are worried about 45 lakhs.. If one dont want money why one should worry about it?

    I am not at all angry at you.. I told you what may work. Ask your father to include your name. I feel that he might have included you if he thinks you really deserve it ..right now he thinks your brother deserve it not you or other siblings. that is why he didn't even take money from you even when you offered it. He is to blame. It is his decision. Respect it.
    Your SIL have nothing to do it. You dont know what your brother conveyed to her. You are not able to accept it..

    Truth hurts.

    Good luck.
    Bye
     
    Last edited: May 6, 2017
    sindmani and yellowmango like this.
  4. friendabc

    friendabc Silver IL'ite

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    i also earn more than any of my family member ..i studied more than brother ...didnt give dowry support my parent ..etc
     
    Last edited: May 6, 2017
  5. YoGirl

    YoGirl Gold IL'ite

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    OP,
    The only solution that I see is emotional blackmail to your dad. It happens btw brothers too. If you want the same flat, it might take a long time. You can ask your parents for money/cash (which is your share) from their other property since you are falling short of money to buy your own property. They should help you too like they are helping ur bro.

    If you dont start doing this now, parents will get a feel that u r ok with them investing on ur grown up brother. If you are strict now, they will consider your decisions going forward.

    I think by getting more salary and having helped for ur bro education, you might be projecting yourself as self sufficient. Remove that projection. Show that u r equally entitled to get inheritence. Dont say that.. i dont want even rs.1 from my parents if they are doing justice to all siblings. Fight for what is yours.
     
  6. friendabc

    friendabc Silver IL'ite

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    actually i didnt want to fight with anybody ..but i guess some people have to fight for their own rights and some get it easily ...its not that my father dsnt want to give me my share but he will include me in the will and u know abt wills and courts and all that bull*** who wants that ???.my brother has got the readymade house without any efforts , as my father helped him ...but i m living in rental house .. u r absolutely right about "being strict" i think i lack that .. i dont talk on serious matter ever cuz i dont want to make parents feel bad ..my brother is very smart in that case ... thats why he gets what he want and i keep crying ... thanks a lot ..i will definitely talk with my father
     
  7. chocolate

    chocolate Platinum IL'ite

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    friendabc, The main problem here is your dad didn't do the needful when he bought that flat. If he was interested and wanted to buy it , he shud have in his budget. Yet he went ahead and included your brother in it.Thats also fine , but legally he shud have fixed everything properly with required share for you and brother.Your brother took advantage of the fact that he paid some money for that flat and moved into it. Your dad let him too. SIL Is lazy , blah blah is not the point to be considered. Your dad shudnt have gone overbudget and even if he did shud have done everything legally instead of all this hide and seek .

    You can ask your dad to legally give you a share in flat by drawing up papers. He has to ensure that those are iron clad papers and cant be challenged in any way. Until then you need to take a loan and go with buying your own property.Good Luck.
     
  8. friendabc

    friendabc Silver IL'ite

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    chocolate u r sweet :) ... my father is a good person ...but he takes decision hastily and get influenced by others easily. he said i will include u in the will and i know he most definitely will...but who wants that hassle??? even a lawyer told me .."u will torn ur shoes by going to court and will get ur share after 50 yrs"
    1 what my brother got right now .... without any efforts ..served in a silver plate .... i didnt , i will have to toil for it ..it cd hv bn avoided ...anyway ...i just wanted suggestion as to what others with more experience wd hv done .....and i got the idea ..thaks to wise people like u
    2 when i go to father's house , the sil dsnt treat me right ...i think she wants the whole house to herself and dislikes anyone who will be a "threat" to her kingdom
    one fun fact--- in this forum , i can see that the majority of women are the BHABHIS...not NANADS ..i think i m in the minority ....thats why one woman was so partial in her opinion that she told ME to "LET THEM LEAVE PEACEFULLY" .. i think she SHD NEVER BE A JUDGE ...LOL...anyway... barring that case ..all others were quite reasonable uve understood the case very clearly ... i will have to do a lot of talking with father i guess ...which ive bn avoiding cuz i dont like to talk abt money with family ...but i guess he has left no other option but to leave my share to SIL ...'who didnt treat me right ....' and i will prefer to GIVE MY SHARE TO CHARITY then leave it to her ...thanks again dear ...
     
  9. friendabc

    friendabc Silver IL'ite

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    ----- I think U R RIGHT ... i m a newbie here ..any idea how to do that???
     
  10. friendabc

    friendabc Silver IL'ite

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    i
     
    Last edited: May 8, 2017

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