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How Do You Control Your Anger?

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by anika987, Feb 27, 2020.

  1. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    Stay away. Don't attend their functions.
    Even if you meet them in a common function in future, just behave as they don't exist.
     
  2. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    Is this the bunch who makes fun of you for not working @anika987
     
  3. anika987

    anika987 Finest Post Winner

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    That is another uncle and aunt..
    My father has two brothers and they are in usa
     
  4. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    Hmm.
    You got the worst uncle's and aunts.
     
    CuteCancer, EightKittens and anika987 like this.
  5. Amulet

    Amulet IL Hall of Fame

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    :flushed: Good..good.
    However, such things are difficult to acquire, after a life long habit of being a good girl and a polite doormat.

    OP could encourage husband to take up boxing, (buy punching bag, weights for the home-exercise den), and the next time one of her relatives misbehaves, she could give him the go-ahead to take out the front teeth of the abuser or at least give them a black eye. The punching bag is also useful for her to practice some of the new words and phrases she could learn for talking-back -- punch and say the word or phrase. Repeat the cycle five times. When she gets good at it, she wouldn't need to bring along the home-boxer for services; she could dispense dentistry and blackeye on her own.

    This forum keeps asking members the kwestin:
    What Can You Teach Someone Online?
    Jey replied 21 minutes ago​
    We now have a teacher, and a potential student as well. ;)
     
  6. MalStrom

    MalStrom Platinum IL'ite

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    We Indians are conditioned to show respect based on family ties regardless of how others behave, and often end up giving blood relationships far more importance than they deserve.
    It’s time to ditch these negative and toxic people from your life. They are bullying you and don’t deserve your time or respect. If you are going to see the counselor you can also bring these issues up so you have the tools to deal with them.
     
  7. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 Finest Post Winner

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    Difficult - agreed. Impossible?
    Not at all.

    Some triggering incidents keep happening with everyone at some point or the other. Nobody will teach or help us identify those incidents . We identify, have some self realization ,learn and move on.

    Like in Op's case : I'm sure not the first time such an incident has happened. Agree she may be the soft spoken one. Very well appreciated because being nice always is a special trait which some people like her possess.. But one should keep learning to not be a soft target all the time.
    This time good she stood up for herself. The lesson to be learnt is "avoid such social gatherings where such relatives are present" .

    Good points. Note this Anika . Punch them not with your fist but with your words. Generally words would poke them ,not give the punching effect.
    What's there to teach? Self learning is the key.
    Next time OP gets a call from such a relative for such a gathering her answer should be " I'm quite held up on that day, don't think I can make it. But I'll definitely try" .
     
    Angela123, shravs3 and anika987 like this.
  8. anika987

    anika987 Finest Post Winner

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    Yeah you are right..we are mentally wired to respect elders..

    The first thing my mom said when I got married?

    “You should get good name from your in-laws”...

    I tried a lot..so much..

    My mom’s friend’s daughter had gotten married and came to the USA..we were talking about in-laws and she just blurted..

    “Akka( Didi)...why should I get good name from my in-laws?I will be myself and do the right thing for my conscience.Are they going to give me some gold medal?”..

    The above made me think...She is saying the right thing actually.

    How come I blindly followed my mom’s advice?

    Every time I was controlling myself and this time I am not even ready to apologize.I am not wrong.I don’t regret yelling.
     
  9. mindwar

    mindwar Bronze IL'ite

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    @anika987,

    My brother's wife has similar characteristics like you. She is kind, gentle and respectful to elders. She got my mom, who happens to be a super demon as her MIL. She succumbed to the abuse for many years. She finally found her voice and courage and brought things under control.

    Although you don't want to get into the same gutter with them, you need to protect yourself from the muck they might throw at you. Better to distance yourself from them.

    If those people said those things to insult you purposefully, they are worth getting that poop on their face. I am very sorry for my remarks.
     
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  10. Amulet

    Amulet IL Hall of Fame

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    Oh... you are a good girl. I thought you'd teach how to annoy the nasty ones on the phone. Like.. put them on hold, and play Telugu Movie Music for a while while you roll pots and pans in the background. Or say "..imprima dos para espanyol...".
     
    Thyagarajan and AmulB like this.

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