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How Do You Control Your Anger?

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by anika987, Feb 27, 2020.

  1. mangaii

    mangaii Platinum IL'ite

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    Does anyone else feel this conversation is unreal ?
     
    SinghManisha likes this.
  2. anika987

    anika987 Finest Post Winner

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    I would not have posted if it did not happen.It was very hurtful for me what happened today and I have dealt with them for a very long time with their taunts and could not control myself and exploded in anger.
     
  3. mindwar

    mindwar Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi @anika987 ,

    Really sorry to hear that. I don't understand whats even funny in their comment. It is very insulting and mean. If you want to give it back to them, do it and don't feel guilty. Don't let them take you for granted.

    I wish you could say this to them - "When I was a baby, I pooped when I looked at your faces. Is that what you mean? Happy to return the favor".

    Seriously I don't understand what type of comments these are.
     
  4. MalStrom

    MalStrom Platinum IL'ite

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    Why do you continue to interact with these people? Fool me once....
     
  5. Angela123

    Angela123 Gold IL'ite

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    I was a quiet child , so have been bullied by relatives when I was young, may be up until went to college. Like the same way you described - tomato chutney-blood shed example. It looks like they treat you like a small girl (looking at their comments). I have seen/heard some distant aunts and uncles telling how I didn't mind them when they came in at some random wedding event or that sort, one day I had enough and I told her at couple events "you didn't mind me when I came in" before she has a chance to talk to me. Her complaints stopped right after that. I have gone for cheap shots as well :blush:. Here is another one - In 2014, my sister almost got engaged to a guy and but didnt go through a wedding because one of our relatives meddled and the guy decided to back out. So it became my sister's fault that the guy backed out. My SIL gave me a hard time everytime I talked to her about how my sister didnt get married because of so and so... To shut her up I started asking, if her sister (same age of my sister) who got married about a year ago, is pregnant yet (I decided I will not back off until she stops talking about my sister). I asked her is your sister pregnant yet whenever she asked me if my sister has a new proposals. She never asked about it after our 1 or 2 phone calls. Anything is fair when it comes to dramatic families!!

    For me it always worked, if I use the same kind of bullying that they use against me. I just cannot stand people making fun of me anymore. I do not do that on purpose so I want them to respect me for that. Some people are just mean, but they can take it when it is their turn. It is just hard to win over those people. Avoiding them, talking back, etc will help. But you will have to come up with something specific. Pay close attention to them and you will get it and remember it. And when you get it, don't forget to use it. You dont have to be mean, just handle it gracefully so that they will think twice before they raise their voice against you or your family.
     
  6. EightKittens

    EightKittens Silver IL'ite

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    This isn't teasing. This is abuse. You felt insulted because they did insult you. You don't control your anger in these situations. Some people need to be shut down. Immediately. This was long overdue.

    Good for you that you finally stood up for yourself. I'm glad that you did. Don't you back down now! Don't apologize. Whatever happens, whatever drama they create, however they try to guilt you, simply ignore it. You don't need to justify your reaction. Anyone with a grain of humanity in them will see that you are right. So don't you back down. You did not do anything wrong. And don't let anyone tell you that you were wrong either. You are finally giving yourself the very basic respect that you deserve as a human being.
     
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  7. heron

    heron Platinum IL'ite

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    Comeback: ' Let me show my face then, give him some relief.. poor baby has constipated over the regular faces he is seeing'...
    But seriously... why are there so many of these bully's specifically around you making up major part of your universe?!
     
  8. Vedhavalli

    Vedhavalli Platinum IL'ite

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    Such mean people, I think you should have walked out. Good they know you can't be insulted anymore. Sure to make drama involving your parents. So prepare yourself for that too.
    Speak in stern voice.
    People have to get it, they will pretend it's only joking - funny.
    Learn to respond in the same sarcastic tone (nakkal). In that way when they accuse you of tone, you can tell I'm joking. Hehehe
     
    anika987 likes this.
  9. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    "If the baby couldn't poop after seeing you, I don't know how could I help your baby?" would have been an appropriate answer. Another answer would be "Even I get constipated after seeing your faces". Please say those words without showing any anger. You have the right to defend your self-esteem. But there is no need to get angry. In fact, your showing anger would make them feel comfortable and do it again and again. Even keeping quiet would make them feel comfortable because they know deep inside you will be hurting. If they know you are unaffected by it but you are willing to give back, they will eat their words. Please see this video about anger and you will laugh.

     
    Last edited: Feb 28, 2020
  10. 1Sandhya

    1Sandhya Platinum IL'ite

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    Man @anika987 I thought I have pretty shitty relatives with lousy pathetic sense of humor but yours really take the prize. My sympathies.

    So many of your past threads make soooo much more sense now.

    Don’t feel bad. Next time, stay calm and give back. It will be easier also. Practice your comebacks here.

    Update: Just saw @Viswamitra’s suggestions- good one!
     
    EightKittens, sindmani and anika987 like this.

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