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how do you compare this...

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by rojaa, Jan 18, 2010.

  1. rojaa

    rojaa New IL'ite

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    how you compare the romance that you had during your initial years of love marriage
    compared to the romance one gets during the initial marriage of arranged marriage..
    am sure , both start with getting to know each other..
    i understand all of us would have gone through only one path...either love or arranged..so its hard to tell from personal experience..but based on what you have seen and heard,throw some points..
     
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  2. Spiderman1

    Spiderman1 Gold IL'ite

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    Like you say - most go through one or the other - it is hard to compare.

    What is important is, Can you have the romance sustainable through your marriage? (be it whether you found your partner via dating, or via arranged marriage).

    Emotional connection is important, and when one suffers from lack of that, then any romance shomance will fly out the window. Been there, seen that and suffered :rant
     
    Last edited: Jan 18, 2010
  3. asuitablegirl

    asuitablegirl Gold IL'ite

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    Actually, I think the initial rush of intense attraction and love can be found in both love marriages and SOME arranged marriages. I think in some arranged marriages, especially in the ones where the couple meets often before the marriage, the same feelings found in a love relationship can quickly develop.

    However, ALL love marriages have those feelings from the start, whereas not all arranged marriages have it. I have seen sometimes in arranged marriages the love develops over time, and unfortunately sometimes not at all. Whereas in love marriages I have seen the love is ALWAYS there from the start, and sometimes it stays strong for the life of the relationship, but other times fizzles out and dies.

    I think that's why both love and arranged marriages can equally succeed or fail.

    However, I have also seen in arranged marriages, sometimes the couple THINK they are in love after their first or second meeting... but it actually turns out they were in love with the engagement ceremony, the fun and frolic of the wedding, the wedding planning and parties, the fancy outfits, the good food, the honeymoon romance etc. but NOT the PERSON they married... that is why I think a lot of times some couples in arranged marriages who are having problems say things like "everything was great DURING the wedding, and shortly after marriage everything was ok, but now a year later he/she has CHANGED." Well, probably they were always the same person, but it's just that during the wedding extravaganza, everything is fun and you are SO busy... you don't always get the chance to see the REAL side of the person you are marrying. It creates the illusion that everything was great in the beginning, when really it was the wedding that made everything seem rosey. JMO.
     
    Last edited: Jan 18, 2010
  4. Sunny3

    Sunny3 New IL'ite

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    SO VERY TRUE!!!

    You have analyzed it so well, ASG.
    :hatsoff for the great explanation.

    I have read some of your responses in other threads and you sound so well balanced in your thoughts and expression that it makes me wonder about your age. I have read somewhere you are in your early 20s......makes it hard to believe seeing your wisdom..........I mean it!!!:biggrin2:

    :thumbsup
    Sunitha
     

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