How Do You All Cope Up?

sadhana11 · Nov 22, 2024

I had a love marriage and so I had had bad experience with my mil and fil. My mil doesn’t like me and I don’t like her too.my husband knows this and is ok if I am not calling her and we don’t talk much. Both of them are too dominating and needs importance all the time. They can’t take the fact that my husband supports me and my kids love me. So they try to manipulate kids to ask dad. I try to ignore but end up getting upset because of their behavior. How to ignore and become strong?

MalStrom · Nov 22, 2024

Don’t spoil your peace of mind thinking about them. Continue what you are doing. It’s good that your husband is supportive. However be careful not to complain too much about your in-laws or badmouth them to your husband. They are still his parents after all. Let him deal with them. Your kids can have their own relationship with their grandparents as they grow up. Don’t stand in the way of that either.
Focus on being cheerful and making a happy home for your nuclear family. Your husband will appreciate having a peaceful, welcoming environment instead of feeling that he has to constantly referee or take sides and it will strengthen your bond.

sadhana11 · Nov 22, 2024

Thanks for your response. I try to be normal most of the days but when they call they try to show that everything is about their son and her daughter and I don't exist. When they come to US too they are insecure and do it throughout their stay to make me feel low. I try to ignore but start feeling upset. My mil is in India and my sil lives nearby who always visits mom house. They team up and hence my mil doesn’t need me and never tries to be good with me. But still asks to come to USA to boss around me and irritate me.

kavikuyil · Nov 28, 2024

Ignore them, create a beautiful wholesome life for you and your tiny family, without them... and live your life happily! Create your own social circle with friends and other members of family who treat you well. Absoltuely, do not care about the rest. Dont give them rent free space in your head.

Dishaa · Dec 4, 2024 at 10:40 AM

Dear Op,
Your situation is almost similar to mine.
My case in laws don't even bother to speak with me.
Don't care about it, just ignore them and carry on with your work.