How Do You Accept "aging"?

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by anika987, Jun 4, 2020.

  1. nuss

    nuss Platinum IL'ite

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    I love it-“Aging is inevitable but growing old is optional”. I never thought of these as two different things. Well, I haven’t really given much thought to this question yet.
    Being the youngest sibling, I am seeing my sisters aging gracefully and gratefully. I am seeing my mom looking beautiful as ever. Becoming a parent later in life is keeping me busy and didn’t really thought about it.
    I was actually excited about turning 40 . Finally, people stopped asking me to show my ID or asking me which “major” I am in . So I guess I am aging but I am not really getting older because I am still that bubbly girl with wisdom to offer when needed.
     
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  2. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    I completely agree to most you said especially when you wrote not to waste time finding perfect clothes,car and spouse! exactly!!

    However..when I mentioned age as a number...Biological age is different from how we are.Many are aging faster than they should be.If one takes care of their health not just to look good but stay healthy,lessen physical sufferings to an extent or they can fulfill atleast 20 percent of their dreams when they are sans responsibilities else just pay money for the doctors.Having time and money with no health is not worth in my opinion.One need not be peak at the their health but work towards maintaining what they have.

    Secondly..Though I miss India coz of my best friends and family, I have to admit that am extremely greatful to be in America and it has changed me and made me more confident than I was.Had to face a lot of hurdles initially but only after coming here I got the confidence to try out many things.Being an 80's kid..a shy and at that time extreme introvert if I had married and stayed back..I would not even be half as fit,or even tried to work outside etc.I had faced a lot back there which is a different story.
    I came here,studied some courses in a county college,was too scared to work in India at that time coz fear of meeting people but somehow found the confidence to work here for 5 years before having a kid, have tried various activities,vacations which were my dream ,wore the clothes I want to wear and now facing the midlife crisis coz most of my dreams are fulfilled here:) Especially coming from a middle class family..I have to be grateful for what this country offered me.

    I like the NEW INDIA.It seems different and more freedom. Now..I can also afford to!
    There are many people who move back to India and came back also.I think everyone should go out and try!Only then will know what works best!

    Everything else is so apt in your reply.Above is also just my opinion..that's all.
     
    Last edited: Jun 8, 2020
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  3. Vaikuntha

    Vaikuntha Platinum IL'ite

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    @anika987
    You have started a wonder thread, as always!

    When I wrote the reply, it was very general and nothing was targeted towards you. Actually, I miss India too much, and I came here on my own- without a husband or a single relative. I love this country, but I miss COO- India, both things can be in our mind at the same time.

    Age is a number- is something you wrote in post. My reply was not to you personally.
    It is also something that is thrown around a lot nowadays, eg. 30 is new 20, 40 is new 30, 50 is new 40, it is everywhere, and I personally, do not like it since it can mislead people, especially women of child bearing age. One should make informed decisions, but with correct information. I was not a young mother, myself. Most of our generation women, aren't. By next generation, girls will have kids in 20s- many things in society are cyclical.

    I am also thinking, that most young girls are aware of what's-what, so I shouldn't worry about them. Still, if one woman can benefit from the reality- 20 is 20 and 30 is 30, then it will be great. These young women, if they are in India, yes I will suggest them never to come here on any visa to US- it is just my opinion only.
    You are correct about people coming back from India. I personally know, two families. In both cases, the mothers always worked- with two children in US. When in India, they didn't like commute, not-8hour work day etc. In both cases, the mothers were able to move within the same company, to India, with good pay.If I were in their shoe, I wouldn't go to India to try it out. Each one of us is different. And each one of has different answer to the same question, at different decades of their life.
     
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  4. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi dear..honestly I had loved your reply:) I never felt you targeted me or anything.Just those two points I made which I felt that’s all.

    Bang on when you mentioned to stop seeking perfection about clothes,car and spouse..loved it.Many a times people watch movies and expect things to workout like that.One should be more practical too.
     
  5. ranju5

    ranju5 Silver IL'ite

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    You said it: accept that we all are aging and enjoy the process. People will say what they want to but you dont have to take that on board. As for fulfilling your dreams there is no age limit except what you set it to. I really enjoyed reading your sentiments. it is so sincere. xx
     
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  6. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Thank you:)
     
  7. Mistt

    Mistt IL Hall of Fame

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    I have also same feelings as you. :thumbup:
     
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  8. nandinimithun

    nandinimithun IL Hall of Fame

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    Big hugs to you dear @Mistt
     
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  9. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:Ripe with age. Ageing is a must for raw to turn to ripe mangoes with juice and fragrance,

    2. Artificial ageing comes handy to enhance to retain potency in certain stages. A way to get continued respect command and attention. Cosmetic industry helps to conceal ageing from head to foot.

    3. When I was a child parents craved for my faster ageing so that I turned to look after my basic needs myself and their burden is reduced. As they aged, I picked up the nuances from their ageing.

    4. Willy-nelly, ageing is inevitable in (woe)man. Some prefer, at some stage of growth accelerated ageing even some desires arresting it forever.

    5. Many would prefer to be a Markendaya to remain at teen for eternity but later’s process in achieving it is through Bhakthi, devotion & dedication.

    6. When a silver hair first spotted, it was plucked but Spouse said plucking would result in more hair gets silvered. Then more of it. Then dilemma starts. To dye or hide or leave it. Between folks and couples serious discussions follow dissensions galore .

    7. I dyed and tried for a couple of times. Hell of a job and with that comes rigmarole and expenses. But then pouches below eyes, crow-lines and deep browning for it cosmetic industry lends one with wide choices. But many prefer traditional ways in kitchen items. It is lemon, honey and turmeric . My great great grand mother used them generously on every Friday!

    8. Yes colouring was the option. But then fear of chemicals in dye that knocks the foundation of the follicle, affect vision and possibility of pate turning bald held me going for that youngish look through this method. Gerascophobia however sets in and those affluent like actress SriDevi could turn to cosmetic surgery for tilting the angle of her nose!

    9. Nature ripes and matures us with graceful ageing.

    10. Your date is better in your pie and your porridge than in your cheek.
    So said the bard William Shakespeare. None could to this date beat his description of ageing through his character Jacques - in As You Like It - THE SEVEN AGES OF MAN.


    You got it I believe answer for your questions.
     
    Last edited: Jun 11, 2020

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