1. What can you teach someone online? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice
  2. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

How Do You Accept "aging"?

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by anika987, Jun 4, 2020.

  1. anika987

    anika987 Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    5,445
    Likes Received:
    7,524
    Trophy Points:
    438
    Gender:
    Female
    It hit me when I was asked “So does the hair coloring helps cover the grey’s?I am planning to get one”.

    I thought “ What the heck! Yeah I do have few grey hairs but am coloring my hair coz I have been doing it for years and I like it not coz of greying!”.


    I fumed...

    When I was younger..people commented “stylish! Looks beautiful” and now it is coz of “greying?”


    What could be the reason? AGE.

    So? Now everything I do is connected to aging? The way I dress,behave,think has to change?

    Isn’t age a biological number?


    So many questions.It got me irritated.How do I get over this? Be at peace? ACCEPTANCE.

    I feel physically fit and still have so many dreams and desires like a twenty year old but am supposed to give up all that coz I age?I can’t! However..I need to reprioritize!


    At 40 years..I should not be worrying about peer pressure,Whether it is okay to work outside or be happy being a homemaker,what my relatives think about me,still hating on my high school bullies who are in my fb account..it is ridiculous yes.

    I should be calmer and more decisive.
    I shouldn’t be reacting and take life easier.

    However..everything goes for a toss when I still see my 72 year old mil competing with me which makes me feel emotionally people will
    never change but only physically.


    I change emotionally and then
    Things will fall in place.


    How did you accept aging and how did things change for you?
     
    ranju5 and hermitcrab like this.
    Loading...

  2. blindpup10

    blindpup10 Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    1,161
    Likes Received:
    1,868
    Trophy Points:
    290
    Gender:
    Female
    Everyone is different when it comes to accepting their age. And if you observe anyone very closely- You will notice that people have an age that they relate themselves with {it could be the age where they flourished or went through deep tarauma}

    My husband was in the early 30's when he got married to me. He was calling himself "old".
    He was so much distressed about his age, it made me and my family wonder "why is he freaking out" He is just 30's
    Till day at every birthday, my husband has a mega meltdown that he goes though weeks of emotionally tough weeks about his age.
    He compares himself to everyone on the planet and beats himself up. Instead of counting his blessings.
    The first few years were a nightmare for me- to see the one you love beat themself up for "I don't know what"!
    Now, I have accepted that my husband will freak out EVERY YEAR that he is old.

    Acceptance has to come within oneself and re-enforced by your family.
    This advice is for my Husband who has been overtly crying about AGEING whe he was considered to be young.
    @anika987 not that you are doing this.

    1. Age is just a number ONLY If you consider it to be.
    2. As you age there are not just negatives there are tons of positives that you get by getting older. Count those.
    3. Our beauty fades, but our minds grow. Work on expanding your mindset.
    4. Be more at peace with who you are and focus on what you can do now and in the future.
    5. STOP COMPARISON with the past, with your parents past, with your friends past, neighbors.
    6. Have confidence that what you are alive and doing is what ONLY you can do it.
    7. Enjoy every min of life. LIVE, LAUGH and LAUGH MORE
    8. Build your legacy. Children are not the only Legacy.
    9. Never STOP working on yourself. We are always work in progress.
     
    Last edited: Jun 5, 2020
  3. anika987

    anika987 Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    5,445
    Likes Received:
    7,524
    Trophy Points:
    438
    Gender:
    Female
    Good reply dear.Thank you
     
  4. sarvantaryamini

    sarvantaryamini Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    280
    Likes Received:
    366
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    I skimmed through your posting till I read about the Mil comment, let me tell you one thing, women are women. Your mil will indulge in comparison even if she is 90 if she has the mindset, take a chill pill. There are lots of remedies for grey hair naturally. Browse through YouTube and you will find something that can help you. It is okay to darken your hair, all people do it. Jai Google, YouTube.
     
    joylokhi and anika987 like this.
  5. nakshatra1

    nakshatra1 Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    847
    Likes Received:
    1,447
    Trophy Points:
    263
    Gender:
    Female
    I really dont care about ageing , I just care about having fulfilling life. Now Im more confident and mature. I think our society is too much obsessed with looks- I hate when people are talking too much about beauty.
    The scary thing about aging is disease. And the fact that with each passing year, our loved ones are getting older- but that's another discussion. Ageing is a natural phenomena , it is beneficial for us- it makes us mature, wise and confident.
    We should spend time with those who value our mind and our feelings, not those who are obsessed with looks. Neither me nor my husband is worried about ageing , but we do want to be healthy.
    I also agree with you - I feel people should dress whatever makes them feel good and comfortable- . society has no right to tell them what is appropriate - how to look, to talk. I feel most people are living for creating image in society than truly living their lives. They try to become whatever others want them to be to prove something, and they end up losing the things that mattered to them most.
     
    Mistt, joylokhi and anika987 like this.
  6. anika987

    anika987 Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    5,445
    Likes Received:
    7,524
    Trophy Points:
    438
    Gender:
    Female
    So true!
     
  7. joylokhi

    joylokhi Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,400
    Likes Received:
    1,995
    Trophy Points:
    285
    Gender:
    Female
    Old age has always had a connotation of weakness , dependence and such other things. Hence it has always been feared I suppose. At the other end, we hear the oft stated statement that AGE is just a number. I would say it is neither of these - as its definitely not black and white. A persons acceptance of age, is most often related to his upbringing and what he has seen in his/her immediate circles. Personally (I'm 66 now) I had been looking forward to the time when I would just have time to relax at home doing what i love, like reading, and other hobbies like art/craft etc. With this in mind, I voluntarily retired from my Public sector job when I still had some 10 years of service left - against advice from many from family as well as outsiders. I would say the period after 50 has been the most fulfilling and relaxed time for me. Physically, as long as we are able to maintain a fit and healthy body, there is no issue at all. I continue to dye my hair and maintain my same style of dressing well , not to look young or so, but for the satisfaction that I feel on being well dressed and confident.
     
    SunPa, hermitcrab and anika987 like this.
  8. anika987

    anika987 Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    5,445
    Likes Received:
    7,524
    Trophy Points:
    438
    Gender:
    Female
    Lovely! Feels positive to read this reply
     
    joylokhi likes this.
  9. hermitcrab

    hermitcrab Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    897
    Likes Received:
    1,319
    Trophy Points:
    263
    Gender:
    Female
    @anika987
    Good question. All this introspection means you are in mid life (crisis). You will go over the hill, and come out fine, with or without answers.
    Aging is real and difficult and not for chickens (most don't get to age).
    Aging is a privilege. The society's view of you, changes as we age. But there is good and bad at every age
     
    anika987, nuss and joylokhi like this.
  10. priyakannan

    priyakannan Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    34
    Likes Received:
    18
    Trophy Points:
    23
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi frnd, I personally feel it is lovely feeling when you get aging. It all matters in our mind don't take others opinion in to your head. Just get yourself confident about yourself, dress and be yourself which gives confident for you. Just enjoy the beauty of maturity, life always gives us different experience and aging helps us to enjoy the experience. It is always our life don't gets tensed on others opinion just enjoy it to your full satisfaction.
     
    joylokhi and nuss like this.

Share This Page