Me and my friends, relatives have faced many situations where we had to lend money but never got it back...mostly becos the person taking the money conveniently forgets to return it..few examples: 1. During college days we had to purchase some equipment for the lab for doing some project work..one of my friend knew 1 distributor who sells it at subsidised price..the project group consisting of few classmates, few juniors and few seniors, who wanted it asked her to get it and then collect the cash from them..she spent 2000+ INR for it..but after getting the equipment very few paid up promptly and all others made excuses or avoided her and dint pay up..it was final year and after passing out she couldn't even keep track of those people and hence ended up losing at least half of the money spent not it.. 2. I often used to share cab and auto with one aquintance while going back home from coaching class as both were in same area..her home was on the way and she would say " I will pay my share tomorrow ok" and never would..couple of times it happened I stopped waiting for her and sharing transport and started travelling on my own at my own convenience.. 3. One relative of mine ..distant uncle has a wife, 2 kids...he has the expense of school education, home loan , day care and extra curricular activities of kids apart from household expense...his wife works but doesn't earn very well..now from the outside all think that they are well off and his relatives ask for loans from him..being extremely generous he lends money even if he can't spare it..and is not prompt in recovering it...if he doesn't even ask how can he get it back..his wife, my distant aunt is kinda worried and has mentioned many times that they struggle so much to earn money and pay off loans , instead of concentrating on savings he is lending money to anyone who asks for it... 4. One more relative told me how she had a maid who was working for about 2 years in her home..the maid asked her for loan for household requirement ..a few thousand rupees..she has given it as the maid pleaded with her and told her that its urgent.. and maid promised to return in 2-3 months,..but after said time period elapsed, even after reminding many times she didn't return it and then went on leave for few days and was not to be seen..she sent word through some other maid that she got work in some other house and won't be coming back..my relative regrets helping her maid ..she got another maid..now that maid is also asking some loan of 3000 Rs and she is confused if she can trust her with the money or not...is there a good way to tell her she will not entertain any request for loans or advances? These days its become a common habit for maid to request their employers for loans of large amounts, even more than they can afford to pay back..want to know how many of u entertain such requests, how many of u reject the requests and how do u recover any money lent to them? 5. During get togethers and group lunches whether among friends, or class mates or colleagues its quite common that one person pays the bill by credit card and all others pay back that person either by cash or money transfer..becos not all will have the proper changes in cash with them..there have been many situations among me and friends when one has paid but others not prompt in repaying the amount or does not pay ..even after sending gentle reminders they make excuses to not pay up.. ultimately one person in the group always ends up losing money... These situations are common among all..wanna know how you dealt with it and refused when asked to lend money? Does the polite approach or diplomatic approach or firm approach work better in dealing with such situations? Especially situations 4 and 5 are very common and happened to so many people, would appreciate suggestions on good ways to deal with it... If we lend money or pay on behalf of someone we end up losing it often..small amounts we can let go but not larger amounts..if we dont lend for some reason after knowing the nature of the person, we are publicly labelled as "Kanjoos" or "miser". Isn't this very unfair?