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How do u judge this man ?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Kodavati, Mar 8, 2008.

  1. Nandshyam

    Nandshyam IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi KV :)

    An year into a relationship. This is the phase where you get to each other. You had lived all your lives with parents, but with a stranger it needs work, compromise. Please dont loose heart.

    As SS mentioned, its your life, your husband, its your relationship. Whatever it takes, you need to make it as you want it to be :)

    He like most of the guys would like you to be a dependent person. As again others suggested, search yellowpages, there might be lots of driving courses.. do some homework and try to come up with the best and cheapest. One fine day when hes relaxed( weekends) tell him that since hes very busy and tired after work, you would like to take the lessons from outside.

    About his temper, first remember this in your mind, you are also a person with feelings and before anything in this world, you need to protect yourself from getting hurt mentally :) right? when you see that hes with temper, make sure not to have any debates with him. Just leave him alone. Let him cool himself. If he blames you for anything during this moodswing, just tell him, "Ok, will look into it". yes I am asking you to be submissive. In a relationship, one has to take the softer approach when other is boiling hot :)

    There is a saying called, to reach a man's heart, you got to go through his stomach. I am assuming you are home. Spend few hrs and try to make some dishes that he loves. Surprise him with new stuff. you might not get the appreciation immediately. but believe me it will be in his heart that you took time and did it for him.

    Also making a bed is something you can do. for a tired man who come home, his home, his wife and most importantly his bed should be inviting. It isnt wrong in him asking that right? Also its your home, I am not saying it shud be so clean always, but you get what I mean right :)

    Now coming to the ****, thats a big NO-NO. How did you find that hes into all this and have memberships. If whatever you know is 100% true, then you can always sit with him and talk about it frankly. Its bestt to get it out in the open between you too, rather than have it in your hearts and sweat about it.

    Finally, you are just one year into this relationship and you know your husband for only one year. Never listen to your mind that wants to judge him. Listen to your heart and love him. Love him unconditionally. Love him for what he is. Like how foundation is the critical thing in a building, trust, love is very important foundation in a relationship.

    Believe me in years to come, you will smile thinking about all these. Because by then, you would have matured a lot and know the gamble in marriage :)

    Have fun!!
     
  2. rya

    rya Silver IL'ite

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    hi kodavati,
    reg. driving,try to ask hime whether you can join driving class or not..if he says no,just keep quite and do whatever you think. Join suddenly and let him know by saying sorry...when he shouts,don't get agitated,let him shout..he is the energy loser..you have to handle ur husband like this only..if you go on arguing,nothing will come to an end..and finally,you will not get what you want..So,be silent and make ur job done..this is the smartest way of handling people..after days pass by,he will forget this..So,be silent and try to make ur job done..
    u asked how to be patient..u have to think he is not shouting at u..he is shouting before some wall..if you do that always,he will be tired and ask you one day how come u keep quiet whatever he shouts...this real incident happened for my friend..her husband doesn't have any patience and always shouts..her mother advised to do like this..whatever he shouts she will not even respond..One day he could not control his feelings and asked her directly how come she is very quiet for everything..for that she responded that she has not even thought of him shouting at her ,she was thinking of him shouting before walls..From that time onwards,he reduced his shouting at house..Once,People knew that they gradually loose respect for their voice,they will simply keep quiet..this may be stupid,but i hope it works..aLL the best!
    thanks
     

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