How do in-laws interfere in our personal life?

In my case of the 14 years I have been married, IL's have been in the US for more than 7 years, visiting their daughters and in the process visiting us too. His sisters used to call him daily and then transfer every piece of info to his parents if they are in india. Some of their expectations are that son should take care of parents/sisters family - we had to pay his sisters apartment rent, pay for his parents ticket from india to US to visit sisters, He also paid for one of his sister's ticket to visit india, buy grocery for sisters when we visit them or send them back with groceries when they visit us. BTW his sisters are very well off financially. After a few years I put an end to all this. That created a huge set of issues. Anyway I stood firm. This expectation was only from DH not from his brother. DH will obey everything they say without any logical thinking. He has also told me I know what they are saying is wrong, but we have to do it since my parents said so. They exploited this nature of him completely.

Some of the rules were we should not go for honeymoon since his younger sister is not married, and DH followed it. His older sister went for honeymoon and when the younger one got married she went too. Who lost in the process - Us.

MIl and SIL's thinks i do not know any other indian language other than my mother tongue, so in front of me they will talk in other language ( they moved to a different part of india early, so they know our mother tongue and the language in that state) and discuss what they should talk to me/DH etc and make massive 5 year plans. unfortunately for them and fortunately for me, I know the language they talk and I can understand every word.

IMO, IL's will interfere/can interfere depending on how much space DH gives. If he can step up and act wisely then most of these issues can be avoided. Now after so many years since they got it back directly from me - I don't hear anything from them. But i am not sure if their complaints to DH has stopped. he has stopped telling me to dance to his family's tunes nor does he mention a word about what they spoke, because he knows that I will question them directly.

BTW, 90% of their calls have been to his cell phone or his office number. Only 10% of calls are made to the home #.

 

Eventhough this was replied in 2010, just nw i got the opportunity to read it. Your reply is fantastic i wud say. 100% true that these husbands nodding their heads like -- boom boom maadu to their parents. That creates all negativity in their family life. Seriously why these ppl are not sensible even though they are older than us. My husband always tells me, be more matured, u r nt at all matured but the real fact is this guy is not matured enuf to not to share all the tiny tiny stuff too to his parents. I dont know whether these ppl will ever change.. i wud always say -- amma mundhaanaya pidichuttu innum alayara payyan..

 

I just see one conclusion here MILs are all the same, everywhere!

 

the recent one from FIL! very interesting... atleast to me:thumbsup

this time he forwarded an automated msg to my hubby's mobile on his own b'day about his birth day which goes like this "u born on this so and so date; very attractive, always young and opposite sex get attracted by ur looks; u take care of children very well; ur partner is apple of ur eye" :bowdown

i jst laughed it out but the next msg was about my dh's b'day "u born on so and so date and month ; very charming, dress well; attract opposite sex; hav more female frns than males and because of ur openness and free spirited nature will get someone who truely love u and fall for u" :spin

i cudnt stand that "suggestive" bitchy msg...i sent a reply as my hubby saying "dad, i already got a loving and caring wife ...so anything to forward about my dear wife on her b'day?"


its been a week..there is no any reply or calls from him so far:bonk




"

 

Why should we let them interefere?

 

I believed KARMA after my marriage :-(

yes i have tortured somebody in my prev birth thats why i have got a MIL who hates me.

There are so many things happend but i will tell one situation:

One day my hubby bought me a saree which was Rs.2000 after 6 months of marriage.

My MIL got furious and scolded my hubby "She(me) is not even given birth to your child ,how can you buy her a saree within 6months of marriage"

i was shocked and my hubby also about her best thoughts

 

Yeahhhhhhhh this real life drama goes onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn..................................
Marriage is a perspective to build a new generation with much better attitude and until these ppl(so called il's)keepingpoking indirectly most of the times,(as indirect soft taunts really gets into their son's mind),more faster than direct taunts.

Until these shut their devil brain,and grow mentally,that they did what ever other parent does to their children and now he is grown up and he himself has a family which he likes to live in the way he wants with the women he likes.............

Never mind they never get it...................................

 

Ohhhhhhhh wow this is hazard.......................

My MIL never thinks i need one ,my husband forceably made her buy one when he was buying for his sister.
He can never buy anything for me alone atleast once in a year when we go india infront of everyone.............