I have ALWAYS given friendship the most important thing in my life !! The thing is,I do not have so many friends even back in India.I have never been out in a big group!! I have been bullied a lot in my past and hence was very careful making friends but ironically I love to have people around me.just that I am scared to get hurt.I made some friends in India but just like every other gal,coming to usa after wedding made me miss my friends.they r all too busy but once in a while i chat with them. Finally,I gave up on that group and moved to a nice community.Since,i had a bad past with friendships I was very careful with my neighbors and got close to them.but when we meet in parties we r nice to each other. I feel tooooooooooo lonely.the thing is in India I was like the above but never felt lonely coz I constantly heard sounds of even birds.here it is dead silence.I think it is very tough to be at home in usa.that is why I guess many go to work here.I cannot even go back,thanks to my dh who feel his work his better for him here. I have kids and lots of work at home but since as i said in the first line,i give too much importance to friendships/relations it is killing me.not able to concentrate on anything!I cry a lot also sometimes. I am so scared that I am the only person without friends and that I am really going to die alone.kids also after they move out,it is just me and hubby dear. I get thoughts like....after my hubby what will happen to me???I do not even have anyone else for me for support.why i get thoughts like this all the time.I know I am young and thinking about old age thoughts are irrelevant but I just need some emotional support.I want to stop worrying and start living.does anyone else feel this way?how do i cope up with this? Please help me.